Freedom Begins Here Blog

A good start, guys. Grace and mercy trumps guilt and shame.

The conversation here is pretty one-sided, though. How many ordained ministers/pastors would be brave enough to join this conversation and admit that the church (more specifically THEIR CHURCH) has failed to provide a safe place for those struggling with pornography and sexual brokenness?

Looking forward to the next chapter... I think a little confession is in order. No more excuses.

We live in a time when behavior is more important than Grace and Truth. Transparency also has it's risk because poeple will use it to hurt you. I believe transparency is the road to freedom and Grace. I don't have to keep the mask up. Let Jesus take the STONE from your hand. He writes in the sand YOU ARE THE BELOVED OF ABBA!! That is b

Interesting video, especially since there are a majority of women speaking, very refreshing and not territory often covered.
I've experienced the same "feeling", not sure if the church would shun me if I was open about my need for prayer for porno, etc., but I DO know I haven't gotten up in front of the church to be that bold.
I've confessed what I would deem "lessor" sins and issues in front of the whole church, those that are hurting and open will say thanks for being transparent, but the majority of folks just smile and don't/won't bring it up.
I emailed a number of men in a group I call Trusted Men, asking them if the email was for their eyes only, and could I be real and open about my porno issues with them there.
A handful responded positively, if at all, and they are a small group I get real with.
I don't believe there are that many Christian men or women, that have it as all together as they seem, or am I wanting everyone to be messed up to help me feel better? ;)
I couldn't even get a men's group to address issues, the Pastor would interrupt and say let's do outreach and evangelism, you all should be done with these issues. So we studied the same old book about men being excellent, written by 1000 different authors needing extra money.
I'm sick and tired of studying how to be an "excellent" man, when all I want is to Love God, and My Neighbor as Myself. Then Excellence is a natural by-product.
So once again real issues get kicked to the curb, and we go on in our merry little dis-functional way, no problems here, if I admit a problem, I am denying Christ's perfect work at the Cross.
I have had that thrown at me.
Thanks for being real, and at least bringing the topic up, we need transparency, and truth, and accountability.
LMJ

My church addresses the issues you talk about and we counsel all sicknesses, abuses, and welcome all to our church to share their testimonials. We do not judge and many miracles have been received to individuals who have come forward and professed the abuse spoken in this video. We are a Christian Church and Jesus and the Holy Spirit is felt in our church. Miracles happen, people are being saved, and all are welcomed. My church is located in Patterson, LA; Word of Life Church. Next time you're in the area, you are welcomed to visit.

The church as a whole is generally judgmental and doesn't want to hear the bad things because then they have to look at their own hearts. However, I have given my testimony a number of times about how I have been set free from pornography to our church and others and have never had a problem with anyone putting me down or judging me. I think that when one person is willing to stop worrying what others think about them, and shares their struggle, God begins a work in others around them. I can sit by and pretend that I don't have problems so I won't be embarrassed or I can care enough about others that I am willing to share my struggle so they can get help. God really blesses us when we care more about His opinion than others opinions.

For any church that SAYS they are all about grace, understanding, and growth through human struggles, I have one critical questions: "What is your church's policy on what they'll do when one of their pastors or lay ministers shares that they're struggling with pornography, marital infidelity, or sexual addiction?" If the answer is not to embrace that person's honesty and keep them on in full pastoral capacities (enjoying the fruits of the ensuing discussions and challenges as growth within the church), then I strongly encourage you to call them to task, reveal the hypocrisy, and take yourself, your family, your money, and RUN!

I know that is what the church needs, because my husband is a sex addict and pornography user and I need help on helping my husband to get over the problem.

I think LMJ really struck on the issue. The culture around the modern church is all about each member trying to "out holy" all the other members. (That was certainly my experience growing up in the southern baptist church and christian schools.) To talk about your struggles was to invite estrangement. One of my accountablity partners was arrested twice for public nudity several years ago, (before he became a christian) and as a result his name showed up on the sex offender registry. When the sex offender registry was posted online in our state, some well meaning people expressed concern about having him around. He lost his job (at a secular company) and was kicked off the worship team at his church, not allowed to lead a small group. He eventually left the church because whenever he was at Sunday services, people would regard him suspiciouslly or avoid him entirely. All that when his church SHOULD have rallied around him to help with his healing.

Even in the secular world, I am utterly amazed that even though we live in such a highly sexually charged culture, if anyone admits they are struggling sexually, they immediately become villified and ostrasized.

I am a member of an FMO group and have an accountability partner, and I do feel safe discussing my struggles with them, but with the whole church? forget it. I too would be run out of the church as some kind of an "evil" pervert. One of the main reasons that non-christians have so much animosity towards the church is that they view us as hipocrites, and the lack of grace we show each other is exactly the reason. I believe if we put down our "gotta evanglize" attitude and really focused on helping the people in our congregations find healing and the love of Christ, that non-christians would wonder what it was that we had and start coming to us!!

Jesus said: "Let your light so shine before men that they will glorify your father which is in heaven."