Freedom Begins Here Blog

T-Shirt Tuesday

2008-11-18T11:28:27-06:00

Today is T-Shirt Tuesday!!! details We're giving away a free T-shirt with each order! Just mark your size while checking out and we'll include it in your shipped order! We'll be doing this every week (while supplies last of course, what you think we're made of cotton?!) So hurry up and get yours today! What is T-Shirt Tuesday?

Review our resources!!!

2008-11-18T11:24:22-06:00

So we've just finished setting up the review feature in our store. Now you can come back and share your thoughts with others. Did you like our resources? Do you feel like they helped you start your journey to finding freedom? Would you recommend them to others? Your experience could help someone else make their decision and start on their journey to finding freedom from sexual addiction and sexual sin! Check it out: www.freedombeginshere.org/store/?lvl=review

CBS Sunday Morning; Sex Addiction

2008-11-17T09:16:19-06:00

The Stories Behind Sex Addiction How Desire And Powerlessness Can Lead To A Compulsion For Sexual Behavior Broadcast Sunday, November 16, 2008

Free Freight Friday!

2008-11-14T09:28:58-06:00

Check it out! We're offering FREE shipping on Fridays!!! Check it out at our store.

Firefox Adds 'Porn Mode'

2008-11-05T18:36:14-06:00

Developers of the popular Firefox browser have added a new feature that allows users to browse the Internet without leaving behind a digital crumb trail of where they've been. Affectionately titled 'porn mode' (for obvious reasons), the feature has been in the development queue at Mozilla for quite a while. You can read the entire story here: http://www.crn.com/software/212000645 Just another way to further the anonymity of our porn surfing habits. Thanks Firefox, thanks a lot.

Media Buzz

2008-11-04T10:09:32-06:00

We�re starting to get some attention from the media. In the past four days, we�ve done five interviews. Four of the interviews were on national programs and one was regional in Arizona/Utah/Colorado. Ted did two of the interviews and I did the other three. Here�s a run down of the interviews with links to the ones available online: Friday, October 31 FamilyNet Radio Mornings with Lorri & Larry Listen to Ted�s interview here: http://itm.edgeboss.net/download/itm/audio/mornings/20081031_ted_cunningham_seg8.mp3 Salem Radio Network SRN News KPCL-FM Day Brightner IRN/USA Radio Network (Bryson�s interview will air sometime this week) Monday, November 3 The Debbie Chavez Show http://debbiechavez.com Listen to Ted�s interview here: http://www.debbiechavez.com/imageuploads/11-3-2.wma

Great New Content Online

2008-10-30T20:29:31-05:00

We've made several big updates to the website that you will definitely want to check out. Lots of new videos to watch, stories to read, free stuff to download, and blog entries to peruse. You can even read several days of the 30-Day Devotional Journal online! Here are the pages we've made the most drastic changes to: Freedom For You
Freedom For Your Church
Freedom For Everyone
Online Devotional Journal
Stories More great changes and updates are on the way. Stay tuned!

Pornography Awareness Week

2008-10-30T10:18:25-05:00

The National Coalition for Protection of Children and Families (http://www.nationalcoalition.org) has designated this week (Oct. 26 � Nov. 2) �Pornography Awareness Week." And no, this is not your excuse to go out and become more aware of the problem by doing some �research.� (We�ve heard that one before!) In an effort to spread the word, we will be on several radio programs discussing the Freedom Begins Here project and its intended impact on our culture. What can you do to get involved? Here are a few suggestions someone posted on facebook from the National Coalition: http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=2358719220&topic=5476

A look at some of our ads

2008-10-22T10:03:30-05:00

We thought you might be interested to see some of the messaging we've been putting out there. Below are a couple of recent ads. Let us know what you think! This ad was featured at the LifeWay Youth Pastors Conference in Nashville a few weeks ago. We created this ad for the CPE retail show in Nashville this year.

The Mentoring Minute

2008-10-20T10:05:03-05:00

We are posting some new videos to our Youtube channel. One of them is The Mentoring Minute video that's been playing at all of the Men at the Cross events across the country. Check it out: For users with YouTube blocked, we're going to be compiling a page with all of our videos available for viewing! Check out the Mentoring Minute for starters! The Mentoring Minute

Porn-Again Christian

2008-10-15T16:47:18-05:00

Mark Driscoll, pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle has posted his book, "Porn-Again Christian: A Frank Discussion on Pornography & Masturbation for God�s Men" for free on the Re:Lit website. He is releasing it a little bit at a time. I haven't read all of the posted chapters yet, but what is there so far is definitely worth reading. Check it out here: http://relit.org/porn_again_christian/

New Story

2008-10-11T00:59:32-05:00

There's a new story up! Make sure to check it out. Christopher's story The power of a someone�s testimony of freedom builds hope for our own journey. We find ourselves saying, �Yes! I can have freedom from sexual sin, too.� However, an honest soul knows that addictive habits and behaviors rarely just disappear overnight. It is a moment by moment battle, that cries out for accountability and grace every step of the way. Being honest about the battle is often the greatest step taken out of chains that bind. Do you have a story to tell? Don�t be shy. Your story could be key to someone else�s first step towards freedom. We have set up a specific place at www.freedombeginshere.org for your stories. Be sure to check out www.freedombeginshere.org/?page=stories to read the testimonies of others and share your own story.

Small Group Pack

2008-10-10T11:58:12-05:00

We are really excited to offer our newest resource, the Freedom Begins Here Small Group Pack. Many of you have expressed the desire to use the FBH material in your small groups. The Small Group Pack includes: � Small Group Guide � DVD & 5 Devotional Journals � Covenant Eyes CD (30-day trial) included in every Devotional Journal. The Small Group Pack shows you how to use the Freedom Begins Here material to create a safe place where your group can be challenged and equipped to guard their hearts, flee temptation and find complete freedom from sexual sin. The 30-Day Devotional Journal easily adapts to 6 weeks of group meetings, the DVD's chapter divisions are easily accessible, and the addition of some simple group dynamics allows this powerful content to be discussed, digested, and activated. Check it out here: Small Group Pack Details

LifeWay Stores

2008-10-17T16:23:03-05:00

Freedom Begins Here will be in select LifeWay Stores beginning in October through the end of November. Our DVD ToolKits will be featured on an end cap in the store. If all goes well in the fall, we could potentially be in all LifeWay Stores beginning next year. Check the list of stores below to see if any are in your area. Go by and check it out if you can, pick up a ToolKit and help us get FBH into all LifeWay Stores! Locations: Rogers, Arkansas Oklahoma City, Oklahoma Jackson, Mississippi Little Rock, Arkansas Lexington, Kentucky Columbus, Ohio Buford, Georgia Chattanooga, Tennessee Greenville. South Carolina Kennesaw, Georgia Louisville, Kentucky A very blurry photo (from my Blackberry) of our end cap at the LifeWay Store in Little Rock, AR.

LifeWay Youth Pastors Conference

2008-10-17T16:25:22-05:00

From Hershey, we traveled to Nashville for the LifeWay Youth Pastor�s Conference. Over 300 youth pastors assembled to better equip themselves to lead their youth groups. Sadly, there is no doubt that youth are taking the brunt of the pornography crisis. 12 to 17 year olds are the largest consumers of Internet pornography. Most of the youth pastors we spoke with are proactively dealing with this issue in their youth groups. However, we met several who were either intentionally avoiding it, didn�t think it was an issue among their kids, or were not allowed to approach it as instructed by the senior pastor. Tragic isn�t it? If a child's first exposure to hard core Internet porn happens around age 11, and we are not helping them deal with the images that are now forever implanted in their brain, don't act surprised when you find out five years later that they see nothing wrong with oral sex, masturbation, etc. They think, "We're not having intercourse, so we�re not having sex." Sorry to be so blunt, but that is the reality of what this sexually charged culture is telling our kids. On a lighter note, we drove through 10 states on this trip and saw all kinds of fun stuff...like this van:

Men At The Cross � Hershey, Pennsylvania

2008-10-17T16:18:19-05:00

"The sweetest place on earth" was home to the fifth Men at the Cross event and our fifth time to minister in a big way to the men who attended. We continue to meet and dialogue with men and women who are stepping up and getting equipped with the Freedom Begins Here material. Thank you for tackling this crisis in your own life, for guarding your family, and for challenging your church leadership to take action. Our approach this time was a little more direct. We created a new sign that read, �PORN. We�re all dealing with it. It�s time to TALK about it.� We have ideas for other banners too. How about, "Stopping at this booth does not make you a pervert" or "Find help 'for a friend'" or "Shhhh�it's a secret." We�d love to hear your ideas and feedback for how we can break through the silence and stigma that surrounds this whole issue. You can always reply to our emails with your comments. We read and respond to every email that comes in.
Rick deep in thought.
(No, a shaved head is not a requirement to work at Freedom Begins Here. Some of us are just follically challenged)

What's going on at Freedom Begins Here

2008-10-17T17:02:15-05:00

We haven't posted a full update in a while and we thought you might be wondering what has been going on around here. Things are moving so fast and it is hard for our small team to keep up with the day to day and even harder to sit down and write about it. Here's a quick list of what's been going on. Every day is a reminder that we are a very small team with a very big vision. Tackling the enormous crisis of pornography and sexual sin would be a colossal quest for a team ten times our size. Yet day in and day out we give it everything we've got, knowing that this is what we are called to do. The encouraging news is that we are beginning to see real traction. It seems that the seeds we've been planting for over four years are starting to grow. For a long time it seemed like we were staring at the dirt only to see an occasional sprout or two. What does that mean in non-metaphorical, non-clich� language? It means Freedom Begins Here is starting to get the attention of people outside of our office. Retailers are putting FBH resources in their stores. Organizations are ready to partner with us to amplify our small voice with their megaphones. Pastors and church leaders are getting equipped to help their churches begin the conversation about porn and sexual sin. Moms and dads are ready to talk to their kids about it. And most importantly, people all over the country are beginning their journey toward freedom. But none of this would be happening without all of you who believe in us and believe in this cause. Now we need you to spread the word. With every person who signs up for our newsletter, purchases a ToolKit or submits a story, another seed is planted and the harvest gets a little bigger. And yes, we like to have fun in the process.

Internet Pornography Statistics

2008-09-29T17:34:59-05:00

http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/internet-pornography-statistics.html This site has some eye opening statistics that we all need to be aware of.

American Air Attendants Urge Filters to Bar Web Porn

2008-09-29T17:04:26-05:00

Bloomberg News Story: http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601010&sid=aeAkdfULJJ1s

Rush of Fools talks about FBH on TotalAxxess

2008-09-26T13:21:09-05:00

Rush of Fools recently did an interview about their partnership with us on nationally syndicated radio program TotalAxxess. Total Axxess airs every Monday through Saturday evening from 7-Midnight on 137 radio signals. Listen to the interview here: http://freedombeginshere.org/_docs/roftotalaxxess.mp3

Alcoholism vs. Pornism?

2008-09-01T16:46:29-05:00

Alcoholism first became widely known as a disorder just as the popularity of television hit the scene in the 1940�s. Interestingly, porn addiction is coming into focus just as the other most significant communication medium in history is taking shape�the Internet. Are the addictions really that different? In the scientific sense of raw chemical reactions, no they�re not. Be it alcohol, drugs, cutting, or porn, the brain is reacting much the same way. The difference is in the perception. For example, see what happens when you tell a group of people at your church that you are a recovering alcoholic. You will be embraced, prayed over, patted on the back and assured that you are loved. One the other hand, try telling that same group of people that you are a recovering porn addict. An awkward silence instantly engulfs the room. You may as well have just admitted that you are single-handedly responsible for the entire sex trafficking industry. Everyone goes home thinking about how much of a pervert you must be (while in denial of their own issues). You can forget ever working in the nursery at church again. No wonder we read stories about pastors who fake having cancer to hide their addiction to porn. They know that if their secret gets out they will be ruined forever. And that�s a pastor. Think about the person sitting in the pew when it�s announced the porn pastor was just extricated from the church. You think that guy is ever going to come forward and get help? No way! And the cycle of silence continues. So, what will porn addiction look like in 30 years? My hope is that through the work of Freedom Begins Here and the work of others, we will begin to talk openly about the problem. Whatever our vice (and don�t lie, we all have them), I pray the Church will begin to welcome us with open arms into a place of safety and recovery.

Will it fix itself?

2008-09-24T10:45:55-05:00

This morning in our prayer meeting there were several things brought up that got me thinking. A man had struggled with an addiction to pornography for 15 years... and someone said, "That's close to the majority of his life." If you have a flat tire on your vehicle, you get it repaired and drive down the road... what happens if you don't? You drive on the flat until you've destroyed the tire, the rim, and eventually other parts of your vehicle will become damaged. Driving at higher speeds with a flat tire can be hazardous and may result in a serious and potentially deadly accident. For those struggling with an addiction and hoping it will fix itself... it might not. What then? Are you content living and hoping it's going to get better? Why not do something. Why not get that flat repaired? There's no guarantee that your journey will be suddenly become a smooth one, but leave it your struggle to fix itself and you're risking a wreck. If you care about your car there's no question you'd get that tire taken care of. It's probably safe to say you care more about your own life and wellness than you do for your vehicle... unless it's a classic! J/K I'm not saying this to discourage anyone... but that imagery just came to me hearing about people living with this struggle for such an extended period of time.

Removing the Mask

2008-08-26T09:01:40-05:00

In the summer blockbuster movie, "The Dark Knight", one of the themes is Bruce Wayne's weariness with maintaining his alter ego by wearing the mask of "The Batman". We might not be "The Batman", but we are also very good at hiding who we really are behind our masks. After all, if people really knew us they might not love us and accept us at all. We may not be hiding behind a superhero mask, then again, maybe we are, acting like we have it all together when really we don't. And, we also grow weary because maintaining our alter ego is work and it's hard. Thankfully, there is One we can always be ourselves with, "without the mask", who does love us and who does accept us just as we are. That is God and that is good. We can be honest, we can be open, we can be transparent with Him. He knows it all, anyway. So, take off your mask. It's ok. Be real. Be accepted. Be loved. Begin to live Free. Then you will inspire others to "take off the mask", too. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

Pastor, We�re Not Having Sex!

2008-08-13T14:12:31-05:00

How to counsel married couples through bedroom problems By Douglas Weiss, Ph.D. Terry and Tami seemed like the perfect married couple. They were in their 30s, attractive and successful. They�d known Pastor Phil for several years and one day came to him for counseling. As soon as they all were seated behind closed doors, Tami blurted out: �Pastor�Terry and I aren�t having sex!� Pastor Phil�s mind reeled: Not this couple. No way, he thought. His mind instantly raced back to his Bible-school training. He could not recall any lessons he might have had on �The Sexless Marriage.� In fact, he couldn�t remember ever counseling a couple who didn�t want sex. In the end, all he could say was: �Terry, Tami�you should fast and pray.� Click here to read more...

FBH Team

2008-08-13T18:41:30-05:00

Front to back (or bottom to top - however you want to look at it): Tyler Kidd Todd Robertson Kelly Craghead Bryson Moore Jamie Gray Gary Gray Michael Denison Bob Schermacher Steve Snediker Jonathan Griesse Not pictured: Brent Barrowcliff, Rick Dimmitt, David Spohn, Natalie Slater

FBH in New Man eMagazine

2008-08-13T14:14:24-05:00

New Man eMagazine recently featured an article about Freedom Begins Here. You can read it here: http://www.newmanmagazine.com/e-magazine/062608/FreedomBegins.php Be sure to check out the Rush of Fools video on the right hand side of the page. Remember to sign up for our newsletter and tell your friends about us!

FBH Featured on the Fermi Project

2008-08-13T14:15:02-05:00

Check it out: www.fermiproject.com Fermi Project is a broad collective of innovators, artists, social entrepreneurs, church and societal leaders experimenting with ways to advance the common good in culture. Gabe Lyons of the Fermi Project co-authored the book UnChristian with David Kinnaman of the Barna Group. FBH thanks the Fermi Project for their support!

What would you do?

2008-07-07T10:45:48-05:00

What would you do if your son, daughter, husband or wife approached you and said, "I'm addicted to pornography... I can't quit. I want to, but I can't." Would you know what to say? Does it seem impossible that you'd ever hear that from a loved one? Thoughts?

The bad guys of Primetime Television...

2008-06-30T09:17:19-05:00

I'm not going to lie; I watch a lot of TV. It's just something I enjoy... I like the stories that the writers can tell in 30-minute episodes of Scrubs... and I enjoy the drama and suspense of Law & Order... I don't care how fake their tactics are - I enjoy watching it! One thing that ALWAYS makes me wonder though... On SVU (Special Victims Unit) they handle the sexually related crimes. All of the criminals have backgrounds that started with abuse, addiction, or mental illness... Now, I realize these are fictional characters and this is all over dramatized for shock and awe on TV, but I still wonder... these individuals would probably not have been welcome into a church... where they belong. People would not have put their arms around them and offered love and encouragement. Instead, people would smile, look away, and think in the back of their heads "My kid isn't going near that person." It's the sad truth. I always feel for these "bad guys." Sure they're labeled as "sick" - all the more reason to show them love. It's something I struggle with when I see "To Catch a Predator" on tv... these folks need help and not humiliation on a national tv show. It seems like a double-edged sword and I don't know if it's right or not, but something in me says they are doing more damage than they know. We can be there to offer all the help in the world when we see these people... but really, why are we waiting until their struggle has progressed to the point of acting out. Why can we not start living in accountability and support before it all crashes down. /end rant.

Brown Bulletin Cover Story

2008-06-19T07:58:50-05:00

As an FBH team member, I can first testify to the great difficulty we have experienced in getting media coverage for our project. It's not that people aren't interested, or that the story's not newsworthy. It's just the very important detail that porn is pornography and that 50 percent of Christian men and 20 percent of Christian women are dealing with a addiction to it. If a news source validates the problem with a story, a blog entry, or some other "published" mention, they are tacitly agreeing with the statistics and sadly don't really want the heat in their backyard. Enter the Brown Bulletin, the alumni magazine of John Brown University. Their Summer 2008 issue features the Freedom Begins Here story as their cover story. Check it out. (In all fairness, seven of our team members are JBU alumni. However, the weight of the story and subject matter required more than just an editorial gut check -- I believe it was a display of courage in the epic battle of helping the Bride of Christ, His Church, prepare Herself for the coming Bridegroom. Thanks for being so brave!)

I'm Not Hurting Anyone

2008-06-10T14:57:58-05:00

Fox News recently did an article entitled, �8 Signs Your Partner Is Addicted to Porn� written by FOXSexpert, Yvonne K. Fulbright. Sexpert? Huh?! Anyway� the article reads more like �Is he cheating on me?� and less like �Is he, she, or even AM I Addicted?� What I found most intriguing is the blog connected to the article� entry upon entry of placating a behavior that wounds. It wounds us, and the ones we love. One of the defensive responses that we hear when we breach the topic of porn and sexual addiction is that it doesn�t hurt anyone. I think anyone who has struggled with this can recall the inner voice of �reason� explaining the �coping-method� concept, the �not-a-physical-affair� argument, or even the �it-will-help-my-relationship� justification. It�s just NOT true. The pain of pornography IS real. So who does it hurt� REALLY? Homo simul iustus et peccator :: Mercy, not condemnation

Running The Race

2008-06-06T14:38:27-05:00

I Corinthians 9:24-26 Don�t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I ran a 5K race this past Saturday. The race was small; only about 70 other runners competed. I am not a fast runner but I am a consistent runner. The small races are fun for me because I feel like I am really in the mix of the elite runners. The sun was out and it warmed up into the 70s by the start of the race. A 5K race is just over three miles long - not a long race. By the time I reached mile two, I felt the sun on top of me and the heat coming off the pavement. About that time I turned a corner and faced a hill. As I got to the top of that hill, I made a left turn and faced another hill. All in the last mile. Facing those hills, I was glad I had gotten enough sleep that week and have been diligent in my training. I have been running long enough to know the value of speed work and long runs. Healthy eating makes a difference as well. When I am training I know a need to do certain things to do well (regular training, good diet) and stay away from certain things (junk food, staying up late). I have a goal in mind. I am aiming toward my goal. It�s the same in my personal life overall. I need to do certain things (prayer, living in right relationships, times of rest) and stay away from certain things (living for the flesh to serve my own needs and desires). In my life I want to run a race that honors the Father. The rewards will be eternal.

Myspace... a gateway to another dimension.

2008-06-03T14:39:25-05:00

We all know the effect social networking has had on our culture. Everyone and their mother (literally) is now able to have an online presence... What does your presence look like? We are so naive to think that the pictures we put online are only viewed by our friends. Think about the images you're making available to the world... and to people that could potentially be struggling with an addiction to pornography that could be triggered by a "revealing image." It seems like everywhere you look there are triggers and I have a suspicion that while the majority are supposed to act as triggers, many are not. If you have a Facebook, or Myspace, or any other online presence please take a moment and think about how you're presenting yourself. Be a light to those in dark places... I mean, who honestly likes clicking on a link to a myspace page and then waiting 5 minutes just to see half naked pictures of some random person? All you wanted to do was see if you knew the person, right? And what's up with all those "rear shots" used in spam friend invites? There are at least 3 a day that I have to mark as spam. Sex might sell in advertising, but if you ask me, sex is killing social networking!

I am a saint. I am a sinner.

2008-05-27T17:05:11-05:00

Check all that apply� I don�t struggle with porn. I know that my pastor doesn�t struggle with it either. I really don�t know anyone who views pornography. I have a great family and a great marriage. I am a Christian. I am very blessed. I can say �yes� to some of those things. Now flip the coin. I am struggling through this life. I can�t sit in front of a computer for more than 5 minutes. I�m unable to stay alone in a hotel room with cable TV service. I can�t even drive through that one part of town. I am so broken. I am so alone. I will never make it. Do you know this voice? All of us do (Romans 3:11-18). Even if you�re a Christian leader or pastor, all of us have stumbled. Some still bear the scars from our falls. Maybe it wasn�t sexual temptation, but we have all felt broken and alone. The Protestant Reformer Martin Luther used the Latin phrase �Homo simul iustus et peccator� to explain the state of all believers in a new light. Man is at the same time saint and sinner. What a paradox. I am a saint and a sinner. I�m not perfect, just forgiven. PBPGINFWMY. Say it however you like, but it is the transformational power of the gospel. It is the light of hope shining into the darkness and the darkness cannot hide from it. So what does God require ME to do about this whole porn thing? If you think you are a saint, think again about YOUR need for a Savior. If you think you are a hopeless sinner, consider YOUR Savior and the mercy He extends to all. There is a beautiful answer to that question in Micah 6:8, �Do what is fair and love kindness. Walk without pride with your God.� I can be fair and kind to those who struggle. I can humbly come before God to find freedom. Jonathan Homo simul iustus et peccator :: Mercy, not condemnation

In the light

2008-05-22T17:15:38-05:00

My home fellowship group has been doing a study on the gospel of Mark this year. As I was preparing for our lesson this week, I read the section in Mark where Christ is about to go to the Cross. One of the sections of that lesson talks about how important Jesus� sacrifice really is. We cross-referenced other verses to study the point. Ephesians 5:1-2 Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that. (The Message) Jesus gave everything to us in order that we might have a life that is impossible for us otherwise. The verses go on in Ephesians. Ephesians 5:3-4 Don't allow love to turn into lust, setting off a downhill slide into sexual promiscuity, filthy practices, or bullying greed. (The Message) Ephesians 5: 8-10 You groped your way through that murk once, but no longer. You're out in the open now. The bright light of Christ makes your way plain. So no more stumbling around. Get on with it! The good, the right, the true�these are the actions appropriate for daylight hours. Figure out what will please Christ, and then do it. (The Message) We are bombarded with so many messages and so many images from television, from movies, and from the internet. We don�t take big steps into the darkness, but instead we slide into it. Every day I need to remind myself that I need to focus on �the good, the right, the true.�

A Rude Awakening

2008-05-22T11:19:58-05:00

�Mr. Miranda, help me please�� I sat listening to a voicemail from a frazzled and terrified mom who had on the previous night busted her 6th grade, 11 year old daughter for looking at gay porn�both guys and girls�and for having a Myspace page. After calling the mom back and speaking with her, I shared some basic information with her concerning the addictive properties of pornography, a little about my story (I�m a recovering addict�since 1999) and some suggestions for internet safety. She was speechless! I had to make sure that she didn�t have a coronary right there on the spot. During our talk she cycled through a bunch of different emotions: disbelief, anger, frustration, fear, terror�and then back to anger�okay, she stayed at anger and frustration for a lot of the time. Mom said �I thought I knew my little girl�I mean, you hear about this kind of stuff happening to people who are crappy parents, but me and my husband are great parents,� and they really were. But staying on top of a teenager�s ever changing cultural and moral landscape is a lot like a salmon swimming up a waterfall: if you stop for just one second you go backwards! Once I began to delve a little further I realized that my student�s father looked at porn on a regular basis and you can fool a fool, but you can�t kid a kid. Kids know their parents habits and ultimately their character. I reminded mom that both habits and character are caught not taught and if they wanted their daughter to stop looking at porn, it was going to have to start with dad. I also informed mom that she and her husband needed to begin really spending time with their daughter and getting to know her. Mom admitted that the family was really busy�the word she used was �fractured;� I thought that her choice of words was interesting for two reasons: 1. both she and her husband are nurses and 2. this was an accurate yet sad descriptor of individuals, families, communities and our culture as a whole: fractured, we are broken! Mom went on to admit that when her husband came home from a hard shift, he would disappear into his �man cave� for hours at a time �playing on his computer and the internet.� Mom and daughter were left all alone to fend for themselves. Mom went on to tell the oh-so-familiar story of a lack of intimate sexual or spiritual relationship with her husband and how that lack of intimacy was mirrored in her and her husband�s relationship�or lack thereof�with their daughter. I could only assume that a large portion or possibly all of the time, this father was looking at porn. He was looking for healing, for intimacy, but it would never be found there. Speaking with the student confirmed the same story. The student told me that she rarely saw her father when he got home and when he spoke with her it was only about �safe stuff like school and my grades and stuff�never about who I am or what I like to do�or about what I can�t do.� This family was broken! How could we put the pieces back together? Getting to Know You In my almost 18 years of experience in dealing with teens and families as both a Christian Counselor and as a middle and high school counselor, I�ve been asked the same question by parents, teachers, youth workers and anybody who just wants to get to know teens better: �Omar, how can I get to know my teen better?� And here again was this mother asking me the same thing. She said, �Mr. Miranda, I know you told me to get to know my daughter, but how do I do it? What do I say or don�t say?� I�ve found that if I ask 5 questions, I can usually get to know what type of issues that teen is dealing with, the friends he/she spends time with and generally open the door to what�s going on in their life. These are the questions I told that mom and dad to ask their daughter and start the long and difficult road to healing the brokenness that they were all experiencing. Here are the questions in no particular order: 1. Tell me your favorite 3 video games you have played or are playing? 2. Tell me your 3 favorite bands/songs you are listening to? 3. Tell me your 3 favorite web-sites you have frequented? 4. Tell me about 3 favorite shows you are watching on the T.V.? 5. Do you have a myspace, facebook or other social networking site (SNS) page? Can you tell me about it? Can you give me your address? Then when you have all that information, go surfing on the internet and prepare to be amazed at how much you learn! You might also be amazed at how much closer you and your teen are. If you want to dig deeper, ask your teen these questions once a week, then follow-up with questions like: �why do you like to listen/watch this�?� Get ready for some honesty! Remember, if you don�t want to truly know the answer, don�t ask the question. Both the mom and the daughter agreed to spend time together every week learning more about each other and drawing closer together to each other. The mother also promised to confront her husband about his excessive and harmful computer habits. After the conversations I felt tired. This interaction had taken a lot out of me, but it was a good tired because I knew that I had just expended energy in teaching others to heal their broken selves, their relationships and their families. As the conversation was ending the mother, clearly exhausted from the emotional energy expended during our conversation said, �you know Mr. Miranda, I don�t understand why somebody doesn�t educate people about this issue of pornography and how it affects individuals and families?!� I smiled and laughed out loud, she laughed and asked �what�s so funny?� I replied, there is something to help families. It�s a resource called Freedom Begins Here.� I gave her the web-site and she thanked me over and over� Stay tuned for my next installment. Remember, stay connected with God, be honest with & take care of yourself, and be accountable to others! 1 Corinthians 6: 9-11, Omar Miranda Abundant Life Ministries

YouTube and the Porn Crisis

2008-05-21T08:59:58-05:00

YouTube is the 3rd most trafficked site on the web, according to Alexa Internet statistics. Everybody is using YouTube. It has revolutionized media communication just as much as the television did back in the 1950�s. But there is a big difference between broadcast television and the user submitted content on YouTube. The difference is regulation. When TV hit the scene five decades ago, your choices were �I Love Lucy� or �Gunsmoke.� Not exactly TV-MA material, much less XXX. We all know that the FCC has a tight grip on what television networks can and cannot show on network TV. Even though most of us are quick to point out the tolerance of questionable (ok, downright scandalous) content on network TV, it pales in comparison to the increasing selection of sensual videos and pics available at our fingertips on sites like YouTube. Now don�t get me wrong, as a professional video producer myself, I think the concept and model of YouTube is brilliant. But for those of us (might I say all of us) who have major temptation issues when we see a video titled �lonely girl in bedroom,� the amazing innovation of YouTube also presents a huge stumbling block that begins to reveal why we are facing an epidemic of pornography addiction. And even though YouTube attempts to block actual nudity, porn producers do just about everything to drive you back to their site after clicking on one of their teaser videos. Understand that I�m not pinning the moral fallout of our society on YouTube! I�m also not blaming them alone for the crisis of pornography and sexual addiction. Just a few minutes of surfing around on sites like MySpace, Flickr, and Friendster can be like running the gauntlet of sexual temptation all while sitting in the comfy secrecy of your bedroom. These sites are full of sultry images and videos just waiting to trip us up. I know I�m not saying anything earth shattering here and you may be wondering where I�m going with this. I mainly just want to ask a question. Is it safe to assume that all of us struggle with sexual temptation on some level? I�m not just talking about guys here. Girls, you struggle too and that�s normal. If that is a safe assumption, and we know that porn is thrown at us constantly without discretion for age or situation, how can we win the battle and find real freedom from pornography and sexual addiction? What do I think? I think it starts with ruthless accountability. If you haven't installed accountability software already, do it now! Through our partnership with Covenant Eyes, you can download a free 30-day trial here: Download Covenant Eyes Trial

Chicago: Our Largest Event Yet

2008-05-21T09:11:29-05:00

We just returned from the Ascension Convention in Chicago where 1,500 students and youth pastors assembled for one powerful weekend. Something exciting happened for us as well. This event marks the first time Rush of Fools presented Freedom Begins Here from the concert stage. As you will hear from the video, Kevin took several minutes to talk about the crisis of pornography and sexual addiction, announced our partnership and urged leaders to meet with us the next morning at 8AM. You can see the (very low quality) video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTLpr36OcvU We figured only a few would come that early in the morning. We were wrong. It was standing room only. People came because they understand the crisis and they�re ready to tackle this monster that is stealing innocence from our youth. Some of the stories we heard shook us to the core yet motivate us to keep doing what we do. A woman with tears in her eyes was helping her sister who had recently discovered her husband�s addiction to porn. She had never heard about FBH until that morning. Youth leaders told us how their kids are sending hundreds of pornographic pictures back and forth using cell phones. The kids don�t see anything wrong with it. We spoke with a middle school counselor who is dealing with kids having group sex�in middle school! This is happening right here, in our schools, in our churches, in our homes. It is no longer about those people who need help for their problem. This is our problem. That is why we need everyone to join this movement with us. Thank you so much for your support, encouragement and prayers so far. We know that the work has only begun. Please invite as many people as you can to join the Freedom Begins Here cause.

PRE-LAUNCH EVENTS GAINING MOMENTUM!

2008-05-21T09:10:34-05:00

We are now into our third week of the Pre-Launch Events and things are going really well! Church leaders are very excited and we are starting to see a groundswell of support for Freedom Begins Here in cities all over the country. For those of you who may not know, these Pre-Launch Events coincide with the Newsboys/Rush of Fools �GO� Tour. They are part of a 36-city concert tour over the next three months. So far, our travels have taken us to Virginia, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, and Missouri. One of the attendees offered this -- �Friday was a great day! I feel so blessed that I was able to attend your event. Thank you for all the cool stuff, that was an unexpected surprise. I think Rush of Fools is going to be one of my favorites. Their music is so inspiring! Meeting Kevin and Jamie and hearing their passion for witnessing and helping people with their struggles with porn made me love them more. What a blessing to be there and what a blessing you guys have been to me too. Thank You and I will pray for you and this wonderful ministry.� We are headed to Texas this week. Our team will be in Lubbock, Abilene, Houston and San Antonio. If you know ANY CHURCH LEADERS in these areas, please let them know we are coming to town. In fact, if you know ANYONE at all in these areas please ask them to refer their churches by going to our website, www.freedombeginshere.org What are these Pre-Launch Events all about? In partnership with Gary Smalley, we have created a series of DVD ToolKits, entitled Freedom Begins Here, that will equip churches to respond the epidemic of pornography and sexual addiction. Before our nationwide release of Freedom Begins Here, we are inviting a handful of Christian leaders to a series of Pre-Launch Events across the country. What should you expect? � A chance to sit down with other church leaders in your community and hear about why we, in partnership with Dr. Gary Smalley and Rush of Fools, are rallying churches around a movement to end the struggle with pornography. � A casual environment. Most of the events are held at local coffee shops. And we�ll even buy you a cup of your favorite coffee! � An opportunity to meet one of today�s most popular Christian bands, Rush of Fools and hear about why they chose to champion our cause. � A chance to win some free stuff like t-shirts, CDs, books, and concert tickets.

Update from the Road

2008-05-16T12:11:06-05:00

February 21 � Quincy, Illinois. It was a frigid snowy day in Quincy this Thursday. But that didn�t stop people from coming out. It was the largest and most diverse crowd yet. We had seasoned pastors sitting next to earring laden, longhaired GenY pastors and everything in between. Different as they could be in many ways, yet rallying around the same cause�helping their churches find freedom from pornography. Thank you so much to Jan and the staff at Coffee on Broadway! You were so gracious to us. February 22 � Merrillville, Indiana. Wow. It is amazing to see the response from people who come to hear what we�re all about. Two moms who are active in their church and community heard about us on the radio and decided to come. And we are so glad they did. They are championing the cause. They actually want us to come back to their communities with Rush of Fools and put on an event to talk about the issue. That is exactly what we need to get this movement off the ground. February 23 � Des Moines, Iowa. Maybe it sounds clich�, but God is continually bringing the right people at the right time to these events. Today we met a man who is actually helping a church deal with a crisis involving the pastor�s pornography problem. In fact, he met with the church congregation the very next day and was planning to use some of the Freedom Begins Here material in the meeting. This man drove 100 miles to hear what we had to say. Amazing!

Pre-Launch Events - Round Two: Illinois, Indiana, Iowa

2008-05-16T12:10:53-05:00

Well, we�re at it again. Last week we were in Lynchburg, Virginia. This week we will host Pre-Launch Events in Quincy, IL, Merrillville, IN, Des Moines, IA and Naperville, IL, respectively. Why these cities you ask? Because we�re doing the Pre-Launch Events in parallel with the Rush of Fools / Newsboys concert tour. Our events will happen in the afternoon of the same day of the concert. What is all of this about? In partnership with Gary Smalley, we have created a series of DVD ToolKits, entitled Freedom Begins Here, that will equip churches to help people who struggle with pornography and sexual addiction. Before our nationwide release of Freedom Begins Here, we are inviting a handful of Christian leaders to this invitation-only Pre-Launch Event. On our website are the cities on the Newsboys/Rush of Fools Tour where we will be. You can meet some of the guys from Rush of Fools, hear about their passion for this cause, and learn how Freedom Begins Here can prepare your church and help you create a safe place that is ready and equipped to respond to the potential flood of responses.

Taking the Long Road

2008-05-16T12:10:47-05:00

Early tomorrow morning we will fire up the engines, melt the frost from the windshield, fill up on petrol and coffee and head east on a long road trip to meet up with the Rush of Fools/Newsboys "Go" tour in Lynchburg, Virginia for the very first Pre-Launch Mobilization Event. This will be the first official public unveiling of the Freedom Begins Here products and our partnership with Rush Of Fools. Please pray that God will prepare the hearts of all the pastors and church leaders we will meet with. Pray that the message gets through. Pray that a movement will begin. The lives of millions struggling with pornography hang in the balance as we step out and urge churches to start talking about this silent struggle. Check back for updates, photos and videos from the road.

Welcome

2008-11-14T14:05:55-06:00

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