<?xml version="1.0" encoding="iso-8859-1"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"><channel><atom:link href="http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/rss" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /><title>Freedom Begins Here Blog</title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/</link><description>Freedom Begins Here Blog RSS</description><language>en-us</language><pubDate>2010-07-31T10:08:19+00:00</pubDate><lastBuildDate>2010-07-31T10:08:19+00:00</lastBuildDate><docs>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/rss/</docs><webMaster>contact@freedombeginshere.org (Freedom Begins Here)</webMaster><item><title><![CDATA[Brother, 
Seeking help from your church and checking out marriage...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/living-with-the-addiction-of-triathalons/000001065</link><description><![CDATA[Brother, 
Seeking help from your church and checking out marriage enrichment classes helps. But first you have to approach your wife with loving compassion and be prayed up when you ask her to join you to go. If she is busy working-out - then you go and get some knowledge for yourself. Getting into some marriage counseling helps but like i sad you need to get some support from your pastor. 

hang in there and don't throw in the towel- 
RQ]]></description><pubDate>2010-07-27T02:05:29+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Yes...the church is ready...here is an email I sent today...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/a-message-to-pastors-and-church-leaders-your-people-are-ready</link><description><![CDATA[Yes...the church is ready...here is an email I sent today to my church leadership to begin a FBH ministry...we will address our body in the first run through and then post on our church website to invite those outside our walls to participate in FBH:

Good Friday Morning Everyone,
 
I am writing this to you all to propose a new ministry at Desperation Church.  Andrea and I met yesterday afternoon to discuss this.  Within the body at DC there is a large number of individuals seeking help with their personal sexual addiction.
   With the immediate availability of pornography via the internet it is a problem that is expected to pervade even a larger set of the Christian population going forward.
Regardless, sexual addiction is nothing less than a plague in America…including the body of Christ.  Many people suffer for years and even a lifetime with sexual addiction…losing jobs, families, friends etc.. as a direct consequence.
 
I think you all are aware of my personal struggle over the past 4 years in seeking help to overcome my own sexual addiction.  I have participated in a number of mainstream support groups structured to help the addict.  These support groups are all “12 step” structured after AA (Alcoholics Anonymous).  And while these support groups understand the nature of addiction and the fact that we humans are powerless, on our own, to overcome it…they point to a “higher power” for assistance.  They choose to take this ambiguous avenue of not identifying our God as the singular power to healing so that no particular religious affiliation is offended, thus opening their programs to a wider audience.
 
For me, as a Christian, I KNEW who THE higher power was, and is, but because this facet of the “Anonymous” programs are ambiguous, there is no direction on HOW the higher power can help!
 
This brings me to “Freedom Begins Here”.  My wife is fully aware of my struggle with sexual addiction and saw a segment on television this past Fall about a new effort to help Christians overcome sexual addiction – “Freedom Begins Here”.
The program is based on the roadmap developed by Dr. Mark Laaser in conjunction with Dr. Gary Smalley.
 
I investigated the program on their website and ordered the “Individual Use” packet (devotional/study book and DVD).  What I found was the missing piece of the “Anonymous” programs --- GOD!
 
The FBH (Freedom Begins Here) program is based on the known science of addiction causes and behaviors, but relies SOLELY on the healing that ONLY our God can provide and utilizes the Bible and biblical principles.  The program is comprehensive in that it provides an initial assessment (from Patrick Carnes, noted author on sexual addiction) for an individual to determine if they have a sexual addiction (it is common for an addict to internally minimize their behavior and justify their actions), this assessment provides the objective written truth to the participant as to whether or not they have an addiction, they don’t have to guess.
 
The program lays foundational education to the participants for the first few sessions and then is followed by a 30 day devotional (discussed in sections through subsequent weeks.)
 
I have done the FBH materials and it has literally changed my life and broken the chains of my addiction.  And the most moving and inspiring benefit from partaking in this program is that I have developed a much deeper relationship with my God…I KNOW He desires freedom for everyone of us who struggle with sexual addiction…
 
SO….ALL of that to introduce you to what Andrea and I have talked about so far.
 
1.	Participation is totally voluntary, it HAS to be to be effective.
2.	Each potential participant will be evaluated to ensure there is a sincere seeking of God’s will in their life and they are actively pursuing that relationship.
3.	Each offering will be a set of weekly sessions (not solid on number yet, somewhere between 8-12 weeks)
4.	Each offering will be “closed” – no new participants can join once the sessions have begun – having people come and go is a distraction and can dilute the effectiveness for those desiring true success.
5.	Andrea will be the “professional overseer” of the ministry.
6.	Buzz will be the facilitator for men participants, Andrea will be the facilitator for the women participants.
7.	Once an offering of sessions is completed, the next offering will begin as there is a known need.
8.	There is a “Church Resource Kit” available for $99.99, depending on number of participants, additional devo books may need to be ordered.
9.	Each participant will be required to “purchase” their devo book for a nominal fee – each can be purchased for $12.99 from the website, but we wouldn’t probably charge that much, we want it to be affordable, but feel it is important for each participant to invest in the program.
 
I’m sure I’m forgetting some specifics, and Andrea can add them to a reply, or if you all prefer we could meet as a group and]]></description><pubDate>2010-07-16T19:37:05+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[my husband has been addicted to porn before we were...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/spouse-of-porn-addict/000000944</link><description><![CDATA[my husband has been addicted to porn before we were married and I have been open and honest with him from day one about how I felt about it yet he continued to do it. We had continous arguments and fights about it when I would catch him we have been together for six years and married for three. the last time I caught him was about two years ago and I told him if I caught him again I would leave him this past sunday I caught him looking at we now have two little girls ages one and two. I came home from visiting my parents with the girls walked in the door after he was just looking at pictures on the computer he kissed me and grabbed our oldest and gave her a hug then said I gotta take a shower I just got home from work. I went in to turn the computer on which I thought was odd that it was off because I had it on before I left he turned the computer off wrong and all his pictures popped up. imediatly my blood boiled and I ran in to the bathroom to confront him to only find him finishing himself off to the thought of everything he was just looking at. How am I suppost to believe that he has any guilt or love for me when he should of felt guilty immediatly after looking at the pictures then seeing me and our children but no he went and actually finished himself off!!! After I kicked him out all kinds of lies came out. The fact that he cheated on me right before we got married TWICE. and had multiple touchy feely instances while we were married. and to only find out that he had three stashes of porn in OUR HOUSE 9 dvds and 2 magazines. and this whole time he has been lying to me about everything!!!! I dont want to lose my family and I love him so much thats why it hurts so much but how can I believe he has any love for me when he could keep these secrets from me for all these years and to look at my in my eyes and just not tell me or feel any guilt for it. My poor little girls see me cry every day now I wake up with swollen eyes and only a couple hours of sleep for the past three nights and to wake up to vomit because im so sick to my stomach and the pain in my chest and the axiety attacks. I honestly cant even imagine where I would be right now if I didnt have my girls here to keep me strong. I am a stay at home mom and everyday I have to wake up and push my hatred and pain aside so I can be strong and take care of my precious little girls. I cant get the images out of my head of all the porn and the image of him being intimate with another women right before he said his vows to me HOW DARE HE!!!!! Please I am begging someone to help me and comfort me. I want so bad for him to comfort me and hold me and tell me everything is going to be ok but at the same time I hate him so much and am disgusted with him I cant even look at him I dont want him to touch me. He is the one that is suppost to comfort me when I am down like this and yet he is the one causing it!!! How am I suppost to make it through this and make things work I can never picture myself being intimate with him again. All these years he has taken advantage of me and disrespected me. I cant help but to feel like a prop to his fantasy world of porn....]]></description><pubDate>2010-07-14T18:33:26+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I am a sex addict. I have been sober since...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/spouse-of-porn-addict/000000944</link><description><![CDATA[I am a sex addict. I have been sober since May 13 09. I was single 32 years. woman after woman. My counselor told me this started the addiction. Used pay per view,periodically Met a wonderful woman. Married her. Best friend. Introduced to porn site. Was addicted immediately. Acted out ,had two flings. Did not know or educated about sexual addiction. Wife told me to leave. Got immediate help. SoulCare director at church, enrolled me in Sex Addicts Anonymous. It saved my life.  My wife did not stick it out. Filed for divorce in 30 days. God has forgiven me, redeemed me, and has radically changed me. It is not about the spouse,it is about the addict.It is to understand not to be understood. I have been honored through God's grace,to share my testimony, with 3 groups. also,very involved with Divorce Care at church. Have now become one of the leaders. God is very good. He loves us. I will be an addict the rest of my life, but with God's Grace will be a sober addict. Jeremiah 29:11]]></description><pubDate>2010-06-28T14:18:10+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I'm in the same boat, i'm so lost. My husband...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/spouse-of-porn-addict/000000944</link><description><![CDATA[I'm in the same boat, i'm so lost. My husband has always been into porn but now it's an everyday thing.  We have two boys and now we have a daughter that is a yr old.  He spends his time on the family computer watching porn, he keeps saying he's gonna stop but i keep finding porn on his history.  I'm so tired of this, i'm thinking of just leaving him but that would greatly hurt our family, especially because i need all the help i can get, our eldest son is disabled.  What do i do? He just says he's going to stop doing it but it's just a bunch of lies. Someone please help, i need some advice.]]></description><pubDate>2010-06-27T22:15:26+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[great share, great article, very usefull for me...thank 

you...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/covenant-eyes-iphone-app-review</link><description><![CDATA[great share, great article, very usefull for me...thank 

you]]></description><pubDate>2010-06-02T08:08:02+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I need some wise counsel. I recently discovered that my...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/spouse-of-porn-addict/000000944</link><description><![CDATA[I need some wise counsel. I recently discovered that my husband once again has been looking at porn on the internet. He is seeking help this time for real but I dont know if I can stay with him because of the nature of the porn this time. It wasnt just grown women this time.I found disgusting videos in the windows media player. Please I need some help. I am very afraid. I was a victim of sexual molestation in my own life for 10 yrs and now im married to someone who is sometimes looking at children. ive read a lot of stories of men and porn but noone says anyhting about the type of porn being viewed. Is anyone out there going through what I am? I dont want his life to be destroyed or our families life. I dont know what to do. someone talk to me!!! Please!!!]]></description><pubDate>2010-06-02T05:40:49+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I wonder if It would be a good idea to...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/tools/small-group-pack</link><description><![CDATA[I wonder if It would be a good idea to buy this for wifes that want to help their husband with their porn addiction? I know it was meant for guys but i think it would be a great idea!]]></description><pubDate>2010-06-01T18:35:38+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[God is afraid of AIDS don't you let satan tell...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/aids/000001048</link><description><![CDATA[God is afraid of AIDS don't you let satan tell you anything negative. Remember no matter what happens God is in control. I will pray GOD will show up in a big way in your life.]]></description><pubDate>2010-05-17T16:35:42+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I guess I should be shocked to know that 50%...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/apparel/rush-of-fools-fbh-shirt</link><description><![CDATA[I guess I should be shocked to know that 50% of Christian men and 20% of Christian women are addicted to porn, but after discovering my husband had this addiction, and seeing a female co-worker on the local porn site (nude from the waist up I might add), nothing seems beyond the realm of possibility anymore. What was more disturbing was when confiding to close Christian women in my life, I found many were in the same boat as I-but had been suffering through this ordeal alone. Too ashamed to talk about it, too hurt to reach out, except to God. I have found enough women in my own little world to start a support group of our own. And have found that there are women in my life who fall into the 20%. These last couple of weeks have been devastating, enlightened, incredibly disturbing and at the same time rewarding. What an emotional roller coaster! Yet, through it all, the Holy Spirit has been SO CLOSE. It lead me to this web site, it lead me to a closer walk with my Lord. And Jesus has sent peace and love and help in some very unexpected ways. Glory to God. I would not have volunteered for this, but I feel in many ways God has been training me my entire life for these moments. Thank you for your vision on this website. I pray that, although hard for them, more men and women are lead directly here to you. You are truly on a mission from God. Don't give up the fight. Satan cannot win, he just doesn't know that YET!]]></description><pubDate>2010-05-12T10:47:08+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I'm not addicted to porn, but I am having an...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/i-am-a-saint-i-am-a-sinner</link><description><![CDATA[I'm not addicted to porn, but I am having an issue with having sex out of wed lock. It is monogamy, but that is no excuse. I can feel my heart being hardened each and every time it happens. I feel soon I won't be sorry at all for sinning against my Lord. Then what? I need help.
Neman23    ]]></description><pubDate>2010-05-07T12:40:48+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I feel guilty bc I can't trust my husband. I'm...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/spouse-of-porn-addict/000000944</link><description><![CDATA[I feel guilty bc I can't trust my husband. I'm frustrated with myself bc I feel like I am not pleasing God bc I'm hurt and I cry allot. I keep telling myself that I should already be over it. I've spent the last 4 yrs ( we've been married for 9) on my knees begging God to change my heart and make me in love again. I love my husband but somethings missing at this moment in time. I just feel so guilty, like I'm not a christian bc I can't trust him. I'm so tired of it. My husband makes allot of sexual jokes and touches me inappropriately in front of my children. And when I call him on it he says I'm no fun. He still accuses me of not liking sex and he ask me to so things that I feel like are not appropriate. I just don't understand what I'm supposed to be doing? I've spent the last 4 years walking on egg shells and trying to make life easier for him so he wont get back into Porn but he is. I feel like I have lost my relationship with Jesus bc I come to him believing that I am disappointing him bc I am failing at being a Godly wife. I feel consumed by his addiction. I'm angry and sometimes depressed. I just told my husband about my miss carriage I had at 17. He said he wants to be there for me but when I try to talk to him he shows no interest or he wants to comfort me with sex. I have allot of guilt from that situation. I never told anyone about my miss carriage until 2 months ago when I realized that God wanted me to deal with it. I have told my Pastor and 3 best friends but nothing. My life is such a mess and out of control. I am leaning on God and His awesome Grace to get me through. I have dreams and I don't want my life to be just about this. I don't want to become consumed by my husbands addictions. Sometimes I wonder if I am reacting in a normal way to my husbands issue? He never keeps his promises. I hope he sticks with counseling he has been twice in the last 2 years. I want to be healed and have a life in Jesus no matter what happens. I love Jesus more than my situation and even my husband but I feel like I give my situation to much time and energy. I want to live not just survive.]]></description><pubDate>2010-05-07T01:50:26+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[My husband was doing porn before we got married but...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/spouse-of-porn-addict/000000944</link><description><![CDATA[My husband was doing porn before we got married but I didn't know it.  For 14 years of our almost 20 year marriage he was doing porn. He never knew i knew, I didn't tell him because I was scared to confront him.  When I finally told him I knew he came up with every excuse in the book. He has been out of it for 6 years, but it still hurts so deeply. He has moved passed it and doesn't understand why it still affects me. I don't really either.  I have chosen to stay with him, but I am miserably unhappy.  His sexual comments are no longer cute or funny.  No one in my life or his knows of this.    ]]></description><pubDate>2010-05-04T20:13:40+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Thank You Mandy for all your kind words and wisdom....]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/spouse-of-porn-addict/000000944</link><description><![CDATA[Thank You Mandy for all your kind words and wisdom. I will reach out to you. We have been married 18 years and he is a wonderful man with a addiction.I don't want it to ruin our marrage or the relationship of him and my daughter if she were to catch him.I'm thrilled god lead me to this site!]]></description><pubDate>2010-05-04T17:50:06+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[As the statistics suggest pornography is and has causing so...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/what-would-you-do</link><description><![CDATA[As the statistics suggest pornography is and has causing so many serious problems for families. We at www.GuardChild.com believe that parents need to begin teaching their children at a young age about the dangers faced online, in particular, pornography. This is why we assembled 10 of the best parental control software products for parents to purchase and install on all computers in their home. The software is powerful and will stop children from visiting porn websites. Additionally, we have the top three cell phone spyware software that enables parents to monitor their child's text messages and any Internet activity.

While installing software is important - the most powerful tool parents have is to establish an open relationship with their children where they can talk openly and freely about issues such as pornography, Sexting and other online dangers.
]]></description><pubDate>2010-05-04T14:04:41+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Klyfoxx

I am so sorry for what you are going through....]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/spouse-of-porn-addict/000000944</link><description><![CDATA[Klyfoxx

I am so sorry for what you are going through. Its so hard to know what to do. I know my Pastor has been a great help to me and even my husband who decided that he needs help and is getting counseling. I have to tell you that I was reluctant to ask my husband to get help bc I didn't want to be judge mental. But Pornography is very serious. I finally sought help a year  after learning of my husbands problem. Maybe its beyond you asking him to get help if you have already asked him. Are you close to your Pastor or another christian man  who you and your husband trust? I know that it has taken 4 years for my husband to get help after telling me of his addiction but he's been dealing with it for 24 years. And we are only 30. I will pray for God to give you wisdom to know what to do and how to do it. It breaks my heart to know that others are going through this. My email is mandy42009@gmail if you need to talk.]]></description><pubDate>2010-05-04T03:08:52+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[my husband is addicted to porn! we went to a...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/spouse-of-porn-addict/000000944</link><description><![CDATA[my husband is addicted to porn! we went to a hotel(approx 15 min from my house) to celebrate my daughters birthday with some friends and my husband is oncall at all hours so he said he had to leave to go to a call. He did and the moral of the story is when we went home the iron cords were by the computer in wierd knots, so he made a pit stop by the house to do what with the cords? I'm mortified. I have a 8 year old little girl that I'm afraid is going to walk in on him. HELP what do I do at this point?]]></description><pubDate>2010-05-03T02:09:15+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Jacob, 
I've been there and done that and am now...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/sex-addiction-leads-to-death/000000984</link><description><![CDATA[Jacob, 
I've been there and done that and am now trying to burn the t-shirt. 
I am a sex addict that is forgiven. There have been many battles in the war against my addiction. Some have not gone well. Suicide is the easy way out. I've prayed MANY times for God to take me out. He even prevented me from doing it myself. Listen to me, GOD LOVES YOU no matter what you have done or when the last time was you did it! All he wants from you is to be TRULY repentant. He will handle the rest.
You said 2 scriptures come to mind. BE VERY CAREFUL of what you allow to stay on your mind. Those scriptures you quoted are good, but remember that satan quoted scripture to Jesus. My point is, there may be better scriptures on which you should focus. Check these out (All NIV):
Psalms 18:16-19 Remember you are no surprise to Him
Psalms 23:4 His rod and staff correct and guide you
Psalms 25:7
Psalm 31:24
Psalm 32:1-2
Psalm 51:10 Pray and ask for this
Psalm 51:17 This is a promise that He will forgive you
2 Cor 12:9 
Gal 5:17 This is the conflict within you
Eph 1:17
Phil 1:6 He WILL be with you through all of this
Phil 3:13 Repeat this out loud to yourself
Phil 4:13 I have spent hours saying this to myself. It brought me through the darkest days
No matter what you think of yourself, God wants to forgive you. And He will continue to forgive, it's not a one time thing. But you must ask for it and be truthful with yourself and Him. I was an addict for 40 years, I KNOW He wants to forgive you!!!!!
I'm in NC but God is everywhere. Sometimes He wants to be all we have so we can learn more about Him. It's tough when you're down and want someone to talk to. If you can, get to a private place and talk out loud to Him. Not the praying kind of talk, but just like you where talking to the partner you want to have. There is nothing you can say that will shock Him, and there is no one He will gossip to. The huge weight of guilt and condemnation you carry is NOT from God. God DOES NOT CARE what you have done! He wants to forgive and take the guilt from you!. Dude, you CAN BE FREE!!!!!!!!!!
After you sincerely ask to be forgiven, don't worry about how you feel, just keep repeating appropriate scriptures to yourself. You may not know the difference between satan's voice and God's voice. That's OK, most people don't. Believe the scriptures you read, not what you are thinking or feeling. After all, your mind was where your problem began. It must be renewed with good stuff.
I'm praying for you
Newman
]]></description><pubDate>2010-05-01T15:24:31+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I'm so sorry to hear of your pain.  As...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/shocking-discovery/000000978</link><description><![CDATA[I'm so sorry to hear of your pain.  As the wife of a sex-addict that God has set free, I know how devastating the sin of another person can be. I'm sure your husband already knows that being unfaithful begins in the mind.  If that were not true, Christ would have never said that if you &quot;look&quot; at a woman with lust in your heart, you have ALREADY committed adultry.  Unfortunately, you can't force a person to change or to get help.  The only thing you can do is protect yourself. Someone once told me, you can't control another persons actions, you can only control what you are willing to accept.  I will be praying that God gives you the wisdom to know what to do and that through Him you will have the strength you need.  My marriage is a living testamony of the power of the Cross and God's healing power!]]></description><pubDate>2010-05-01T14:43:52+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Hi Jacob as wife who has a husband that struggles...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/sex-addiction-leads-to-death/000000984</link><description><![CDATA[Hi Jacob as wife who has a husband that struggles with porn the last thing I would ever want is for him to end his life. I understand you feel hopeless but I have learned through my experience that God's grace is truly sufficent. Eventhough my husband refuses to get help I still believe anyone who has an addiction can be set free. Its a process for all of us so hang in there. Satan wants you to kill yourself. God love's you so much remember Hebrews 4:15-16. This scripture helps me in my weaknesses.

Your sister in Christ
Mandy ]]></description><pubDate>2010-04-29T23:32:49+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I am the person that posted this comment in the...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/spouse-of-porn-addict/000000944</link><description><![CDATA[I am the person that posted this comment in the first place and I wish I could say things are better but there not but I'm getting better. I'm learning to abide in Jesus and allow his comfort but I could use a friend like most of you. my email address is mandy42009@gmail.com. My name is Mandy. I hope one of you see's this.

God Bless you all.]]></description><pubDate>2010-04-29T00:32:20+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[When I was about 9 years old I discovered the...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/masterbation/000000027</link><description><![CDATA[When I was about 9 years old I discovered the wonderful sensation of when I touched myself 'down there'. (note: Im a girl and I stay external.)
I didn't even know girls COULD masterbate until I was about 14. Then I started looking into if what I was doing was masterbating. I'm 16 now and I'm pretty sure it is. I don't do it very often. Only a couple times a month. Usually about a week after my period is when I get the urge to do it. Since I started at such a young age, I don't fantasize. So I guess it's not what the bible reffers to as 'comitting adultery'. But I don't know. 

Is this a wrong thing for a Christian girl? Or should I head down that horrible difficult path of avoidence and quitting? ]]></description><pubDate>2010-04-22T03:00:10+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I am adopted 63 yea old man and i have...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/masterbation/000000027</link><description><![CDATA[I am adopted 63 yea old man and i have lived with sexual pervertion;visual and masturbation for as long as i can remember. i confessed my sins and rpented and accepted the grace of the LORD JESUS CHRIST in1982 but no relief came for thisparticular problem in fact it has probably got worse.To say im not ashamed would be a lie.this costs me a real relationship with HIM.It has also cost me 3 marriages 2 who were very lovely women all my own fault.To my christian brothers and sisters i feel a despicable hypocrite because they dont know how i really feel. Italk ]]></description><pubDate>2010-04-19T01:41:47+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[All you who struggle with porn addiction,there are groups
that offer...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/start-the-conversation-discussion-questions</link><description><![CDATA[All you who struggle with porn addiction,there are groups
that offer support,just like AA for alcoholics there is SAA,sex addicts anon.There is unity in a twelve step group.If you can do this on your own with Gods help great!
But if you are tired of trying and failing,try the SAA or the other groups in your area.There is info on the web.God be with you all in this fight.]]></description><pubDate>2010-04-16T19:30:19+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[God is definitely the God of second chances! We are...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/aids/000001048</link><description><![CDATA[God is definitely the God of second chances! We are praying with you! Thank you for contacting Freedom Begins Here.]]></description><pubDate>2010-04-16T13:36:22+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Please feel free to look at this site all that...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/masterbation/000000027</link><description><![CDATA[Please feel free to look at this site all that you want! As often as you want! There are free downloads available and helpful resources available, as well. You may find the Personal ToolKit to be helpful. Thank you so much!]]></description><pubDate>2010-04-13T19:37:16+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Small Group Pack is designed for a group to...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/small-group-pack</link><description><![CDATA[The Small Group Pack is designed for a group to go through over a 7 week period. It comes with a leaders guide to help facilitate the meetings. Several churches are using this as a small group study. You may also be interested in the Church ToolKit, as it is designed for pastors and church leadership specifically as to education and ideas of approaching this issue within the church. I hope that helps.]]></description><pubDate>2010-04-13T19:32:39+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Me and my friend were arguing about an issue similar...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/fbh-featured-on-the-fermi-project</link><description><![CDATA[Me and my friend were arguing about an issue similar to this! Now I know that I was right. lol! Thanks for the information you post.]]></description><pubDate>2010-04-13T12:47:04+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[This hits a man where he is powerless in the...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/small-group-pack</link><description><![CDATA[This hits a man where he is powerless in the natural. I would like to get the small group kit and give it to pastors in the area as a catalyst. What do you think about this idea?]]></description><pubDate>2010-04-13T02:02:23+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Although I do not wish upon anyone the pain and...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/spouse-of-porn-addict/000000944</link><description><![CDATA[Although I do not wish upon anyone the pain and misery I've endured with my husband's addiction, it is somewhat of a relief to know that other women are struggling with the same pain that I feel. I caught my husband viewing pornography when I was 8 months pregnant with our first child, over three years ago. A few months later I found out he had been chatting on-line with another woman and the chatting was sexual.  He was regretful, full of remorse and we even saw a marriage counselor for a few months. We are both christians who love God.  My husband repented of his sin and I thought he was &quot;recovered.&quot;  Recently, I found out he's been viewing pornography again and has been chatting on-line with another woman.  My husband is seeking help. He has indicated to me that satan has trapped him to believe that what he is doing is justified because he's not physically having an affair.  He knows the lies are wrong and wants to get help.  I understand the hurt, pain, confusion, bitterness and anger that the other women have shared.  I am 9 months pregnant with our second child and go through emotional torment on a daily basis.  However, I'm coming to grips with the fact that this is not my fault and that it is only Jesus and his unconditional love that can change my husband. I tried to change him the first time and it did'nt work. Please know that when we demand answers, continue to question and condemn our husbands it encourages them to live in secrecy.  If anyone would like to have an e-mail friend, I would love to share and hope to be a friend to someone in need just as I am. My address is kjc2b@hotmail.com ]]></description><pubDate>2010-04-12T18:57:33+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I have been struggling with masturbation, you know justifying it...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/masterbation/000000027</link><description><![CDATA[I have been struggling with masturbation, you know justifying it in my head. I am too ashed to take o my friends and certainly not my family when I watched James &amp; Betty Robinson this morning and they suggested this site.]]></description><pubDate>2010-04-12T14:53:23+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Hello im new to this forum i hope i will...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/</link><description><![CDATA[Hello im new to this forum i hope i will be able to help &amp; contribute here because i have learned a great deal myself.

Thanks

Learn Violin]]></description><pubDate>2010-04-10T14:12:59+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Thank you so much for those words of encouragement! I...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/spouse-of-a-porn-addict/000001044</link><description><![CDATA[Thank you so much for those words of encouragement! I am sure that they are greatly needed by many who come to this website!]]></description><pubDate>2010-04-06T18:40:43+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I just like the approach you took with this topic....]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/talk-is-cheap</link><description><![CDATA[I just like the approach you took with this topic. It isn't often that you just discover something so to the point and enlightening.]]></description><pubDate>2010-03-30T02:53:27+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I, too, am a female who has been addicted to...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/support-for-girls-/000000960</link><description><![CDATA[I, too, am a female who has been addicted to pornography for a very long time (about 15 years). I have always had a thirsty appetite for sex at a very young age, and have seen my addiction escalate from what would be called as &quot;innocent masturbation&quot; to now a strong addiction to some extreme and explicit pornography.

I feel disgusted with myself.

This is actually the first time I've ever &quot;told&quot; anyone about my addiction. I didn't think it was normal for a woman to be like this. My family would be extremely ashamed of me. I was raised in a good, loving Christian home... what is wrong with me?

But, to the first anonymous poster, you are not alone, if you are a female addicted to pornography. I have struggled and battled for this for years. I've asked for God's help so many times, I feel like He has given up on me :(

Thank you for the links Rick. I am going to check those out.

-disgusted with herself]]></description><pubDate>2010-03-30T01:24:01+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[A few other places (as ladies) you may want to...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/support-for-girls-/000000960</link><description><![CDATA[A few other places (as ladies) you may want to look for help and support:
reachinghurtingwomen.com
flowerdust.net
puredesire.org
No Stones Unturned by Marnie Ferree
Hope After Betrayal by Meg Wilson]]></description><pubDate>2010-03-25T13:19:03+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[One of the lies he probably believes is that if...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/how-to-get-my-self-esteem-back/000001005</link><description><![CDATA[One of the lies he probably believes is that if anyone truly knew him, no one would want to be around him. So his lying is a defense mechanism, and he’s perfected it over many years. As he moves along on the journey to healing, he’ll learn that honesty is essential to his recovery.

Secondly, is he growing closer to God? You see, divine power is the key to your husband’s recovery. Sure, there have been guys who have mastered their sexual addiction on their own. They’ve hung on for dear life, trying to manage their addiction. Changing behavior, however, is only part of the healing process. If the guy hasn’t started to deal with his heart issues, then it’s only a matter of time before a relapse occurs. Only God can show a person what is in his—or her—heart, and only God can give a person the strength and wisdom to deal with these heart issues.

Lastly, are you seeing real change? Is he more attentive to your needs? Is he trying to really see you? Is he trying to connect emotionally, spiritually, and not just physically? Is he becoming the spiritual leader that God has called him to be?

All of this takes time. Don’t expect your husband to be miraculously healed. He’s going to stumble and fail. The important thing is that he’s serious about continuing on the road to recovery, and he’s sharing with you what’s going on during his journey.

Leave your husband’s addiction and his recovery in the hands of God. And you should not expect to find your hope in your husband’s recovery. The most important thing for you is to take care of yourself. Let God heal the hurt you’re experiencing. Seek Him and let Him restore your heart and reveal His amazing love for you. This is where hope comes from after betrayal.

Adapted from Hope After Betrayal. &copy;Copyright 2007 by Meg Wilson. Published by Kregel Publications, Grand Rapids, Michigan. Used by permission of the publisher. All rights reserved.

Meg Wilson is a regular speaker to women’s groups, Bible studies, and conferences. She founded the Healing Hearts Ministry to offer help and hope to women whose husbands are caught in the web of sexual addiction.]]></description><pubDate>2010-03-17T15:01:04+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[ knowing that what I was doing was wrong yet...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/how-to-get-my-self-esteem-back/000001005</link><description><![CDATA[ knowing that what I was doing was wrong yet fearful for saying anything because I was sure people would be repulsed. Who would understand? I truly believed that if I told anyone, I’d be ostracized. The more alone and isolated I felt, the more I acted out.

What was the turning point for you to come clean?

For me, the turning point came when God allowed me to reach a point where I knew if I didn’t choose to seek help, I’d die. Not just emotional and spiritual death. I was on a path that would eventually lead to physical death. At the same time, God showed me that He would be there every step of the way. By that time, by God’s grace, I was already part of a “For Men Only” small group. The hard part was confessing my entire sexual addiction to my accountability group and to Meg.

The turning point for most men is when they get caught either by their wives, their bosses, or by the police. You’d think this would be the moment when the truth would come out and the healing process would start. Unfortunately, this is not the case most of the time. Some men get defensive and are in complete denial. They try to shift the blame and are unwilling to admit the fact that they have a problem. Most try to minimize it by saying it’s no big deal, and their behavior isn’t hurting anyone. Others come clean—but only partially. 

Regardless of how a guy gets to his turning point, the critical step to his healing is his being 100 percent truthful with his wife. Omitting anything at this point is like leaving a crowbar for Satan; he’ll use it as leverage, and the shame and guilt cycle will continue. There are many good resources on the subject of sexual addiction for both the husband and wife to read. There are also Christian counselors available, which is a wise choice for the husband and/or wife, either as a couple or individually. Being part of a group like “For Men Only” can be a tremendous help. The churches in your area may not offer this type of group. There are resources on the Internet and there are support groups.

What could I have done to prevent all this?

Nothing. Your husband was already heading down this path long before you met him. Every guy that I’ve spoken with can identify a time around eight or ten years of age when his sexual addiction began.

I can’t stress this enough: your husband’s addiction does not have anything to do with you. It has nothing to do with how you look, how available you are to him sexually, your personality, your weight, height, or the color of your hair. One lie perpetuated even by some counselors and pastors is if you’d be more available sexually, your husband won’t have to go elsewhere. Let me say again, this is categorically a lie based on total ignorance of the pathophysiology of sexual addiction. Meg and I had, what I thought, was a good sex life all while I was “knee-deep” in my sexual addiction.

What can I do to support my husband’s healing?

You can’t make the choice for him to get better. Regardless of whether he’s made that choice, your main job is to get healthy yourself and pray for your husband. Learning the truth will enable you to set boundaries to protect yourself.

Right now praying for your husband may be the farthest thing from your mind. Divorce or causing him bodily harm may be the thoughts that are in the forefront of your mind. I can understand that. I knew that there was a good chance my marriage was going to end based on the choices I made. If I ever choose to go back to my sexual addiction, my marriage will most likely end. The bottom line is, your pain is real. I know that it isn’t easy for you to pray for your husband, because it’s hard to pray for the people who hurt us. I can say, though, because of Meg’s determination to pray for my healing and for me, I was able to continue on the path of recovery. There were times when she’d pray for me before we went to bed. There were many more times when I felt her prayers as I went through my day.

The power of a praying wife should not be underestimated. Your prayers are important. They will lift up your husband as he pushes through the lies of the enemy, and they will give him strength to work on his recovery. Your prayers will also be a powerful tool to help your husband if he’s in denial or unwilling to start the process of recovery. 

Please believe me that God will bring your husband to a point of decision. Your husband will decide either to continue on his path of self-destruction or he’ll decide to get healthy. You can’t make that decision for him. But you can pray that he’ll be receptive to what God is trying to do in his life. Your prayers and the prayers of others will play an incredibly important role in God’s getting your partner’s attention.

How will I know if my husband is getting healthy?

The first marker of healthiness is honesty. For years, your husband has been living a lie. He's used lying as a way to keep you and others from knowing who he really is. One of the li]]></description><pubDate>2010-03-17T15:00:02+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[This is a powerful article that may be of help!!

Common...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/how-to-get-my-self-esteem-back/000001005</link><description><![CDATA[This is a powerful article that may be of help!!

Common Questions About a Husband’s Sexual Addiction

Editor’s note: Several years ago, author Meg Wilson had it all. She was a suburban wife with two daughters, two cars, two pets, and “a firm grasp on the American dream.” Central to everything in her life was a loving and successful husband who loved the Lord.

But her picture-perfect life came crashing down around her when her husband confessed to a decades-long struggle with sexual addiction—a secret life that included infidelity and an obsession with pornography.

As part of her journey through forgiveness and healing, Meg started a support group for women whose husbands struggle with sexual addiction. Her interactions with the women in those groups as well as her own healing led her to write of her experience. Eventually Meg’s husband, Dave, began to visit the support group for their first meetings to answer questions from members of the group. 

The following are some of the questions that wives ask the most about sexual addiction, along with Dave’s answers, adapted from Meg’s book, Hope After Betrayal. You can also hear an interview with Meg on FamilyLife Today.

Can you pinpoint when it all began?

Every man I’ve talked with knows when his sexual addiction started. For most it began when they were around ten years of age, and they found their father’s stash of pornography. For some the beginning was after one or both parents abused them sexually, physically, or mentally. The fastest growing trend has young men telling me that their problem started after viewing porn on the computer.

 When I was about ten, I found a stash of pornography. I can still remember the rush of adrenaline and other chemicals surging through my brain and body.

A common thinking error that men fall prey to is, Someone else is at fault. Blaming my dad for years was easy. He wasn’t there. The truth is, if it hadn’t started then, it would have started later. Only recently have I discovered how my choices caused or worsened life’s difficulties. I picked the escape route. Many of my friends while growing up turned to alcohol or drugs. Every step of the way I made choices to continue with my addiction and knew these choices were wrong. The guilt kept me in hiding and going back.

Why didn’t my husband tell me about his problem before?

Most likely he believed that you’d walk out on him. I remember being nudged by the Holy Spirit to tell Meg about my addiction before it had progressed, early on in our marriage. I truly believed she’d run out of the room screaming, and our marriage would end. 

One of the differences between sexual addiction and other forms of addiction is the shame and guilt that are associated with it. Today, when people admit to being an alcoholic or a drug addict, they’re celebrated for their courage in admitting their struggles. That’s just not the case for men struggling with sexual addiction. Not only do men have a sense of guilt and shame about their addiction, society denies it’s even an addiction. People either laugh or make jokes or automatically assume all men with sexual addiction are child molesters or predators.

Do I need to know everything?

The answer is yes and no. Your husband does need to tell you everything, especially if he’s had physical contact with another person. As hard as it will be to hear, it’s important for two reasons. One, it’s for your safety so you’ll know what you have been exposed to. And two, it’s the only way your husband will be able to start the recovery process.

When God finally broke through to me, two things entered my mind. Meg’s health was potentially at risk, and God was still in control. He assured me the right thing to do was to tell Meg everything—even though there was a chance that being totally honest could mean the end of our marriage. I then had an overwhelming sense of peace. Regardless of whether or not Meg and I would remain husband and wife, I knew in my heart and soul we’d be okay. For the first time in my life, I knew I could tell someone my complete story.

While you want your husband to be totally honest with you and not to hold anything back, you don’t need to know all of the details. One of the things that Meg regrets is asking about some of the particulars. The problem was, by telling her some of the minutiae, it created an image in Meg’s mind that she then had to deal with. 

What was going through your mind as you continued in your addiction?

The most prevalent feeling is the shame and guilt. Another lie that sexual addicts believe is, “If anyone really knew me, they wouldn’t like me or want to be around me.” Believing this lie is the foundation for the shame every sexual addict carries. Knowing that I truly wanted to stop doing what I was doing, and asking God countless times to help me stop, yet continuing to “act out,” was extremely frustrating and depressing. But the feelings were unbearable, knowing that wha]]></description><pubDate>2010-03-17T14:57:49+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[You may want to check out the book, Hope After...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/how-to-get-my-self-esteem-back/000001005</link><description><![CDATA[You may want to check out the book, Hope After Betrayal, by Meg Wilson. Her husband, she found out after years of marriage, had a sexual addiction issue that involved infidelity and an obsession with pornography. The book tells of her journey through forgiveness and healing.]]></description><pubDate>2010-03-17T14:47:00+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Please let me start off by saying that I understand...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/how-to-get-my-self-esteem-back/000001005</link><description><![CDATA[Please let me start off by saying that I understand your pain and that I am very sorry that you are hurting. It is a very rough situation, especially considering you just had a baby and your hormones are wild.

I am glad your husband has admitted the problem and is seeking help. That is a good first step.

Porn is very addictive. Chemicals are released in the brain during viewing that have a great effect. This is in no way an excuse. It is wrong to start in the first place, but once one does, it is very addictive.

I know you may feel this way, but the truth is that the issue is not your inadequacy or your unworthiness. I am sure those words do not really describe you at all.

That is not why men watch porn. They watch it because they are trying to fill a void in their own hearts (not your fault) with the wrong thing. Porn is a poor and cheap substitute for filling that void with intimacy and with a vibrant relationship with God.

The problem is not you. The problem is poor choices on his part. Many women feel it is because of them, but once they understand the addiction cycle and how it works, they see the problem is with the spouse and not with them. This is why it is so important to get this message out there.

The good news is that there is hope, help, and healing available. Even restoration. If the person wants it enough.

I understand your anger right now, but I would please ask you not to make poor choices, yourself, because of that. Revenge is never really as sweet as it sounds and the Bible says that vengeance is the Lord's. Please do not fill your hurt and anger with a poor and cheap substitute either.

Please let the Lord comfort you and His Word guide you. You can never go wrong by doing that and trusting Him. You may also wish to see a Christian counselor or a very mature Christian lady friend that you may know or that someone may recommend.

There is a free download on the FBH website under the Downloads tab called A Spouse's Perspective by Deb Laaser. You may want to watch that for guidance and encouragement. The Addiction Cycle is a 99 cent download under the Download Tab. That may be helpful.

You may also wish to read Jenni wrote under the Stories Tab.

And, I trust and pray that many other ladies who have discovered this about their husbands and have good advice will comment as well. You are not alone.

Finally, this did not happen because of you. I hope you will believe that, as it is true. You are very valuable as a person and as a woman. I pray the Lord will give you strength and that one day you will have a testimony of great victory to share with the world.

In the meantime, I pray God's mercy, grace, and loving arms will be wrapped around you.]]></description><pubDate>2010-03-16T20:57:59+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Well, Jerry, we sure appreciate your courage in stepping out...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/video-blog-upcoming-in-2010</link><description><![CDATA[Well, Jerry, we sure appreciate your courage in stepping out and confronting the issue. Many people and families are still struggling with this topic being inappropriate, especially in a church setting, but tackling this has always been a movement, not an overnight success. We truly believe that God will open people's ears to hear.

Praise God that twice as many came forward as walked out. That's progress!

In some ways, flack is good.]]></description><pubDate>2010-03-10T22:06:49+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[First of all, I wanted to thank you for your...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/spouse-of-porn-addict/000000944</link><description><![CDATA[First of all, I wanted to thank you for your courage to share. You are in the right place. I am praying and believing that Freedom Begins Here will start a ministry for the wives of porn addicts. I, like you, have felt so alone in my pain. 
In May I will be married 18 years to my best friend and porn addict. It has been such a long road. No one talks about the damage porn addiction causes the wives. Everything out there talks about how to help your husband through his addiction. Well, if most women are like me, that's the last thing you want to hear when you are so wounded. I feel your pain and you are not alone! I understand! I've been there over and over again. Please go to the &quot;stories&quot; section of this site and read my testimony. One thing I want to tell you is to please believe me when I say, you ARE good enough. Its not your fault. Your husbands porn addiction is not about you! Satan wants more than anything for you to believe his lies. Pray for God to block your ears from those lies. Pray for God to feed you truth. Run after God! Find out who HE really is. Search your bible to find out how special you are to God. Pray and ask God to show himself to you in a personal way. Search the concordance in the back of your bible for help. Write down what you find. Also, journal what you are feeling. Please know, God is crying with you!
Jenni]]></description><pubDate>2010-03-10T19:21:26+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[The reason Christian men don't want to talk to each...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/quotsleepingquot-fathers/000000954</link><description><![CDATA[The reason Christian men don't want to talk to each other about porn is because it is KRYPTONITE to us! Just talking about it can create a Lust Storm leading to a full-scale PORN ATTACK!

Porn is less about sex and all about LUST. It's about changing how you feel. Porn stirs up lust and so creates a SUPERHIGHWAY to pleasure in the brain.

There is help. Check out &quot;Facing the Porn Plague.&quot;

God's Best for you.
]]></description><pubDate>2010-03-10T00:56:32+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Chelsey, get out now.  He doesn't want help. ...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/spouse-of-porn-addict/000000944</link><description><![CDATA[Chelsey, get out now.  He doesn't want help.  I found out about my husband's addiction 6 months into our marriage.  I was physically ill with the discovery.  We were both raised in Christian homes &amp; we'd dated for 3 1/2 years before marriage.  His secret hit me like a ton of bricks!  I can say with absolute certainty that if I'd known then what I know now, I would not have married him.  We're going on 11 years of marriage and porn has repeatedly &amp; increasingly torn through it.  At this point, I am only here for our children (which I had in hopes that they would motivate him to stay clean) -- I don't want them to have to deal with divorce and I don't know what else to do.  I can be his friend &amp; roommate, but at this point, I really don't want to be his wife.]]></description><pubDate>2010-03-08T22:12:35+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[How do I find these safe people?  Because I...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/a-spouses-perspective</link><description><![CDATA[How do I find these safe people?  Because I am all alone.  I've been alone with the devastation of my husband's addiction for over 10 years.  Only our pastor knows.  We saw a counselor for a time, but he still went back to porn.  He went to a conference, had accountability partners, but still went back to porn.  We now have 3 children (which didn't help him quit either).  I just want out.  I want to be free from the pain &amp; betrayal I feel everytime he's caught in his lies once again.  I want to be loved by a man who loves me completely.  A man who I believe when he says I'm beautiful, who comes to bed on time, and doesn't have to be &quot;password-protected&quot; from our family computer.  Is that too much to ask?]]></description><pubDate>2010-03-08T22:03:50+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Nice to see you guys.  Thanks for the shout...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/video-blog-upcoming-in-2010</link><description><![CDATA[Nice to see you guys.  Thanks for the shout out.  FYI, A pastor invited me to bring a presentation to his church on Super Bowl night.  there were close to 300 in attendance!  Only 5 families &quot;walked out&quot; during my presentation.  But, ten came forward to pray for their families (or themselves).  Praise God for this brave pastor that I am sure caught some flack.]]></description><pubDate>2010-03-05T19:45:01+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I do think this is a most incredible website for...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/video-blog-share-your-story</link><description><![CDATA[I do think this is a most incredible website for proclaiming great wonders of Our God!]]></description><pubDate>2010-03-05T00:49:12+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I have been with my husband for almost 12 yrs...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/spouse-of-porn-addict/000000944</link><description><![CDATA[I have been with my husband for almost 12 yrs now and of that we have been married going on 8. I recently told him that he is addicted to porn when I started to realized that he lies to me about it and goes out of the way to hide it from me. it used to be that i didnt worry about it. He's a man, all men look at it from time to time. I even watched it with him thinking it could help the marriage. But lately it's making me feel like  he has some kind of sickness. I caught him watching one night (he didn't know i could see him)and when he realized i was about to come in I watched him get off the site and erase the browser history. Why was this called for? so I asked nonchalantly as I could so whacha doing bae? he replies nothing. So i ask wacha looking at, he replies nothing just checking on some flights. Now that just pissed me the hell off! can someone please tell me if I should be as concerned as I am?!?!?!?]]></description><pubDate>2010-03-04T00:41:57+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Thank you for yours prayers, they are greatly appreciated. ...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/how-do-i-get-out/000000999</link><description><![CDATA[Thank you for yours prayers, they are greatly appreciated.  Unfortunately, my family is in between churches right now.  Quite frankly, church has never really been a safe place for me, even without someone knowing I was a porn addict.  So I'm very hesitant.

Thanks for the link, I'll definitely look into it.

~In Him~]]></description><pubDate>2010-02-22T17:47:51+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[There may or may not be verses in the Bible...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/help/000001000</link><description><![CDATA[There may or may not be verses in the Bible that speak directly to the physical act of masturbation. I have heard explanations both ways. However, there are a lot of verses that speak of the sin of lust. And, lust and masturbation usually or always (I am not trying to get into an argument on this part) go together. In other words, are you indulging in lust when you are masturbating? Again, there are many verses about the sin of lust.

Having said that, God does forgive. &quot;If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins.&quot; 1 John 1:9 And, with every temptation, He does provide a way of escape. 1 Corinthians 10:13

I pray that He will show you the way of escape in the midst of the temptation and that you will take it. I also pray that you will put a plan in place ahead of time for what to do when temptation does come.

Besides being a physical battle as porn is so addictive, this is also a spiritual battle (a tough one) but God is there to help.

You have a good heart, it appears. God will work with that.
Please do not give up. There is always hope in God. He is bigger and badder than any temptation we face.

I recommend you pray that the Lord will place people in your life that are spiritually mature that you can confide in and rely on for support. You may have to look at respected Christian ladies to talk to that attend another church if you do not know any such ladies n your church. Or a counselor.

Freedom Begins Here has a 30 Day Devotional Journal full of scripture help that you may find useful. There is also a website you may want to check out that is designed for ladies struggling in this area. It is www.reachinghurtingwomen.com. I also know of a group of ladies that are very specifically ministering toward women and prayer. Their website is www.letspraytoday.com.

I hope this is helpful and that others will comment as well. And, I will also pray that the right Christian ladies cross your path to give you encouragement and hope.

Please, do not give up! There is hope!]]></description><pubDate>2010-02-22T17:33:23+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Porn is very addictive. Like a drug, literally. It is...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/how-do-i-get-out/000000999</link><description><![CDATA[Porn is very addictive. Like a drug, literally. It is also a spiritual battle. With every temptation, God provides a way of escape. But sometimes it seems so hard to take the escape provided. I understand. But, there is hope!

You are doing the right thing by finding a friend to be accountable to. Excellent! As to a trusted Christian adult, how about your youth minister's wife or your pastor's wife? How about a mature Christian woman that you believe would not freak out? Someone in their late 20's or early 30's. I don't know who might be available at your church, however? You may even want to go to another pastor's wife or youth minister's wife in town that is very well respected. That is up to you.

A good website to check out that is designed specifically for ladies struggling in this area is www.reachinghurtingwomen.com. I believe that they would be very helpful to you.

I hope this helps some and that others will comment, as well. I will also hold you up in prayer. I will pray that the Lord sends the right Christian ladies into your life to support you. Please do not give up. God will never give up on you. There is hope. 

Contact Freedom Begins Here again, please, if you have any more questions.]]></description><pubDate>2010-02-22T15:54:44+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Until the Church becomes honest about these issues, the Church...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/no-wonder/000000998</link><description><![CDATA[Until the Church becomes honest about these issues, the Church will not see revival, in my opinion. No wonder the world is disgusted with so much about the church as are many believers. We must be relevant. We must be honest. We must be real. And, we must start with ourselves.

Many leaders believe that their honesty about imperfection would ruin their false image and drive members away. Well, maybe so. But it would also draw many more to the church because the world is so hungry for honest, humble, forgiving, and compassionate churches.

Let that begin with me and with you, not tomorrow, but today!

]]></description><pubDate>2010-02-19T20:27:06+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[It you look at the bottom of the page you...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/phone-number/000000997</link><description><![CDATA[It you look at the bottom of the page you will see a listing for help and there is a tab for contact us which lists our email and phone number here at Freedom Begins Here.  

We look forward to hearing from you.

800-364-6863  Central Standard Time Zone

contact@freedombeginshere.org

]]></description><pubDate>2010-02-19T15:42:10+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Most definitely the church should be proactive with this issue!...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/talk-is-cheap</link><description><![CDATA[Most definitely the church should be proactive with this issue! The church as a whole will only start doing something about sexual addiction when ministers start addressing it from the pulpit. 

According to a clearly dated Christianity Today 2001 statistic, 37% of pastors are addicted to porn. With those numbers being so old we can only imagine what these statistics are today. I don't see pulpits addressing addiction across the board anytime soon. My personal barometer: if a pastor isn't talking about sex addiction there's a good chance they have a porn problem.

As with most things, change will have to begin at a &quot;grassroots&quot; or lay person level and move up; calling the pastors and leadership to accountability.  But with over 50% of the grassroots/lay membership addicted to porn they don't care about dealing with it either. And with so much shame and embarrassment attached to the issue people are afraid to even discuss it. 
 
What we have here is the typical AA 'invisible elephant' that no one wants to talk about. Instead of the elephant being in a family living room, it's in the church sanctuary.

Being ministers who are willing to address this issue head on we must press on calling all ministers to a higher standard. At the same time remembering Jesus cared just as much about the woman at the well as he did any other person he came in contact with.]]></description><pubDate>2010-02-19T07:22:31+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I will continue to pray that the Holy Spirit will...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/living-with-a-sex-porn-addicted-spouse/000000994</link><description><![CDATA[I will continue to pray that the Holy Spirit will really begin to go to work on your husband with His convicting power. It would seem that this is what it is going to take.

It will be up to him ultimately, but there is power in Godly prayer. We really need for God to do a miraculous and transforming work. Please Lord, go to work on this man, and please lift up and encourage his faithful and loving wife. Amen!]]></description><pubDate>2010-02-18T19:07:22+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I will pray that the Holy Spirit will really go...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/how-to-introduce-the-personal-tool-kit-to-a-person/000000993</link><description><![CDATA[I will pray that the Holy Spirit will really go to work on both of your husbands as they will have to want to be free of this themselves. The prayers of a spouse and friends along with the Holy Spirit can see mighty results.

The saying is that you can lead a horse to water, but that you can not make him drink...well, if you feed him enough salt, he will eventually drink.

May the salt of prayer and of the Holy Spirit make your husbands thirsty.]]></description><pubDate>2010-02-18T18:59:42+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Jeff,

Remember, God is about restoration and hope.  Through the...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/please-pray-for-me/000000996</link><description><![CDATA[Jeff,

Remember, God is about restoration and hope.  Through the power of Holy Spirit along with someone to support you, you will find freedom.  You are a child of God and he loves you.  We fall short of his glory daily.  

James 5:6 Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other that you may be healed. 

Find someone and shed light on your sin.  Their are people that will provide you with a safe place to find healing.

My prayer is that you will see freedom and break the cycle of addiction.  Also that you will see yourself as a worthy and loved child of God.

]]></description><pubDate>2010-02-18T17:46:13+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I never dreamed I would be saying this about my...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/how-to-introduce-the-personal-tool-kit-to-a-person/000000993</link><description><![CDATA[I never dreamed I would be saying this about my husband or my marriage,  but I completely understand and know right where you are.   I too do not want to just &quot;give up&quot; on him, and yet he isnt willing to accept his actions are wrong or understand the betrayal that I feel.   One of the statements in the book I am reading said - I can not slay a dragon that isnt mine - and that is what this is.  It is &quot;Their&quot; dragon ..  and we have to heal the wound it has caused us before we can help them.  God wants us to give the same forgiveness , grace and mercy to our husbands as He gives us.  I will include you in my prayers, that we have the strength, courage and wisdom to follow God's will in our lives, no matter what that path may be.  

]]></description><pubDate>2010-02-18T15:03:50+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Thank you for your thoughts and wisdom.   They...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/living-with-a-sex-porn-addicted-spouse/000000994</link><description><![CDATA[Thank you for your thoughts and wisdom.   They validated everything that I have been thinking.   He was not raised a in a christian home as I was, however his parents started attending church during his teen years.  I believe that he knows the truth but in his heart he has not truly changed.  He prayed a prayer once and believes that is all he needs to do for salvation.  He truly doesnt understand why looking is the same as touching.  I have made it perfectly clear how I feel and what it does to me as his wife.  On MANY occasions in the past 8 years of our relationship.   I was in denial for so many years and as it grew into relationships with &quot;real life&quot; women via email and text messaging is when I began to confront him on the issue.  

I have found a wonderful counselor .. and I have asked him  about it ..  His response was &quot;whatever you need&quot;  again .. he is in denial of any responsibility of his own.  He says he is sorry for how I feel and that he is trying but his actions say something completely different. 

Thank You for your prayers ..  ]]></description><pubDate>2010-02-18T14:54:38+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I really do appreciate your comment and any advice,comments or...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/how-to-introduce-the-personal-tool-kit-to-a-person/000000993</link><description><![CDATA[I really do appreciate your comment and any advice,comments or ideas are always welcome. I found it hard for me to find forgiveness towards my husband. i was reading an article about forgiveness and i realized it was something i had to do for myself to let go and it even said it will be hard to forget but forgiving is something to do so i am no longer a victim.

Its going to be hard but like i said i am just not ready to give up. I was told to today I am fighting a battle I am not going to win because its not my battle to fight. If he chooses to fight this battle I want to be on the other side to see him conquer this.

I would like for people to help me pray for him that he will understand that he is not the only one out there with this type of addiction and that one day he will believe he has an addiction and to seek to some kind of counciling.

Thank you for your advice and like i said anything at this point is welcomed and appreciated.]]></description><pubDate>2010-02-17T21:54:34+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[There is help!

You might want to check out the Freedom...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/i-need-help/000000995</link><description><![CDATA[There is help!

You might want to check out the Freedom Begins Here Personal ToolKit. It contains a DVD which explains a lot of what is going on in a person's brain when watching porn and why it is so addictive. It also explains the sexual addiction cycle and steps to break it when a person really wants to get well (as it sounds that you do). The DVD also contains testimonies of freedom that will encourage and give you hope. 

Also included is a Devotional Journal designed to help one learn how to guard their hearts and minds and to put steps in place which will aid in the healing process.

I also recommend that you find a mature believer that you can trust and confide in as an accountability partner. 

Also, you may need to see a Christian counselor who can help you in this endeavor to gain freedom and a way to handle this temptation and stronghold in a manner that is honoring to God, to your wife, and to yourself.

It takes courage to ask for help. Most men do not have that type of courage because of pride. I am glad that you do have that courage. You are doing the right thing.

Please take the next steps. I pray that you do and that your relationship with God and that your relationship with your wife becomes closer and greater than ever before.

It can happen, if you want to get well enough to take the next steps. And, I believe you do.]]></description><pubDate>2010-02-17T15:25:25+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[First let me say, I am glad that you have...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/how-to-introduce-the-personal-tool-kit-to-a-person/000000993</link><description><![CDATA[First let me say, I am glad that you have started personal counseling. That is a very mature thing to do.

Pornography is very addictive. Literally and physically. Cold turkey quitting and strong will power sounds good, but if it were so, he would have quit. It appears a lot of denial is going on.

Sadly, if a person does not want help...they will not get help. Because of the addictive nature of porn, it is a struggle even if one does want help. But, because this is not only a physical battle, but more importantly, a spiritual battle...there is hope, healing, and restoration available.

Now, how do you introduce the Personal ToolKit?

One idea might be to let your husband know how this behavior hurts you, and would he, therefore, go through the Personal ToolKit with you...for you?

Maybe you would like to introduce the Personal ToolKit as an educational tool you could go through together to better understand this stronghold.

You will probably need to have a conversation about this, and I recommend you bathe that conversation in prayer before it occurs.

One thing...even though it may be difficult...try not to be accusatory and condemning. Please try to show grace and mercy. This is not to excuse his behavior, but it is to create an environment of change.

Again, I am not excusing anything, and I do not know the interactions you have had. I do not know how long you have been addressing this issue with him. So, I am flying a bit blind here. I am just hoping for an environment where change can occur.

This is usually a process. And, if the person does not want help...they will not change. But, if they do want help...change will occur with commitment and God.

I pray that the Holy Spirit will do a work in your husband's life that will make him so miserable in this lustful lifestyle, that he will seek the Lord with all of his heart. This is a work only the Holy Spirit can do.

There is probably much more to say, and I welcome the input of others, but I hope this will at least be a starting point, and that the Lord will begin to do a mighty work in both of your lives, and that your marriage will come through closer and stronger than even before. That is my prayer for you.

]]></description><pubDate>2010-02-16T22:59:49+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[This will not answer all of your questions, but it...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/living-with-a-sex-porn-addicted-spouse/000000994</link><description><![CDATA[This will not answer all of your questions, but it may be a start. You may also want to see a Christian counselor to discuss what is going on in your life.

That said, here are a few thoughts. 

Yes, men are generally stimulated by visual images. And, pornography (those visual images) are very addictive. Extremely so, like a drug. Literally. So, your husband may really want to stop, but the addiction is overwhelming him. That is possible.

However, the part that bothers me is that you say he does not feel he has done anything wrong since he has not physically touched another woman. Does your husband profess to be a Christian believer? If so, what does he do with the multitude of verses in the Bible that talk about the sin of lust? What does he do with the verses that speak of honoring his wife when he knows that this behavior hurts you?  

I am not judging, because I do not know his thoughts. I am just asking.

If he really wants to stop, it is possible. If he really does not want to stop, well...he won't.

The addictive nature of pornography makes it a battle when one does want to stop. If one does not want to stop? They won't.

But, this is not only a physical battle. More so...it is a spiritual battle. So, again, there is hope.

I pray that your husband really does want to change. If not, I pray that the Holy Spirit will convict him and work on him so that he does want to change. I also pray that God will give you wisdom and courage. And, I pray you will find the correct mature Christian friend or counselor to support you in prayer and with practical ideas.

I pray your husband will have the wisdom and the courage to go with you.

With all temptation, according to the Bible, there is a way of escape. I pray that your husband will truly want that and will take the escape when this temptation and stronghold strikes.

Freedom Begins Here has tools to help the individual struggling and to inform the spouse struggling as well. It is the Personal ToolKit. Also, this website.

There is hope. There is help. Restoration is possible. If the person wants it. Again, I pray that your husband truly does and that, indeed, the Lord will direct your path.

I highly recommend talking to a pastor or Christian counselor. I pray that the Lord will direct you to the proper one.

In the meantime, our prayers are with you, and I hope others will comment to you, as well.]]></description><pubDate>2010-02-16T21:29:33+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[There is a program you can download at www.xxxchurch.com that...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/ugh/000000959</link><description><![CDATA[There is a program you can download at www.xxxchurch.com that my daughters friend has placed on his computer.  It flags items of pornography and other sexual type things, although it does not stop you from viewing it, it just bring up a scripture verse and challenges your accountablity.   

You are a beautiful young woman in God's eyes .. Keep going to Him and He will set you free. ]]></description><pubDate>2010-02-15T19:41:58+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[No. It is not too late. It is never too...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/ugh/000000959</link><description><![CDATA[No. It is not too late. It is never too late.

Pornography is a very addictive stronghold. It is strong! But God is stronger and God forgives. &quot;If we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong.&quot; (1 John 1:9 NLT) Also, God will work with those who have a tender heart towards Him, and it sounds like you do.

1 Corinthians 10:13 NLT says &quot; But remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can't stand up against it. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so you will not give into it.&quot; The King James Version calls this a &quot;way of escape.&quot;

It often feels like the temptation is too strong. I know. But please begin to ask God to show you &quot;the way of escape&quot; when the strong temptation does come.


Try to figure out when and why you are most susceptible. Put plans in place ahead of time of how to avoid those situations, if possible, and of how to react and of what to do when they can not be avoided and temptation comes.

Also, please try to find someone who is an adult that is a strong and mature Christian that you can trust and that you can confide in. Let them know of your struggle, so that they may be able to help you when you are feeling powerless.

Don't beat yourself up when you fail. Go to God again. You can go to God as many times as you need. If you are humble and sincere, He will work with you. Please remember He is patient, and gentle, and kind. He is not there to condemn you, but to help lift you up. Look how patient Jesus was with Peter and the rest of the disciples. He will work with you.

When you fail, confess to God, get up, and start over again. Remember, He cleanses us.

Celebrate your successes as well!!!

This is not everything, but it is some things you can do. 

I will pray that God sends someone into your life that you can trust and talk to. I will pray that you never give up, because God will never give up on you. 

He cleanses and cleanses and cleanses, again. He helps us to change (maybe slowly...but surely) as we continually look unto Him.

Paul did a lot of things that he was ashamed of, but God cleansed him. And he wrote &quot;No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.&quot; (Philippians 3:13 NLT)

You are precious in the sight of God. He loves you. He will work with you. He will strengthen you. He will keep on cleansing you. He will send people to help you. He will send ways of escape.

It is a strong battle, but God is on your side!!! He is always near and ready to help!]]></description><pubDate>2010-02-15T15:07:11+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Uuuugghh! I know what you mean. I am in high...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/ugh/000000959</link><description><![CDATA[Uuuugghh! I know what you mean. I am in high school too. And I love GOD so super much. I want to lead a life that honors GOD alone! But I too, am addicted to pornography. Its really sick. And it seems as if I can't go a day without running to the internet! I am sorry for my iniquitys. And I want to be free! But I don't know how. And it seems as if no one cares what I do. I told two of my best friend. But they didn't have an answer for me.

I want to be pure for my future husband! But I feel as if it is to late. (is it to late for me??)  ]]></description><pubDate>2010-02-10T22:45:44+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[This may be a very good site.

I have bookmarked this...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/men-at-the-cross</link><description><![CDATA[This may be a very good site.

I have bookmarked this web site and also I will tell my local freinds over it.

Gratitude]]></description><pubDate>2010-02-10T17:17:27+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I have been looking at this site and have found...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/brown-bulletin-cover-story</link><description><![CDATA[I have been looking at this site and have found it to be really helpful. I would really appreciate any assistance.]]></description><pubDate>2010-02-08T13:40:05+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I can't answer the denial question because I do not...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/denial/000000979</link><description><![CDATA[I can't answer the denial question because I do not know you or him or what he has done specifically, if you are talking about watching porn or if you are talking about a physical affair. I also do not know if you are married or not. I would suggest that you let him know how this hurts you (whatever it is) , and what he does with that information will tell you a lot about if it is love or not.

Love seeks the highest good of the object of one's concern. One can learn to love, of course, if they do not know how already, (and most do not) but that is up to the person as to if they want to or not. You both may want to schedule counseling to work through this. Either way, I pray that love is learned by you both and that you both allow God to lead and to guide.]]></description><pubDate>2010-02-02T22:58:10+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I see that you are in great pain, and I...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/sex-addiction-leads-to-death/000000984</link><description><![CDATA[I see that you are in great pain, and I am so very sorry. I pray that there is an accountability partner out there for you. Have you asked a local pastor or sought out a recovery group in your area even from a church you do not attend? Please do not give up on this endeavor.

Believe it right now or not, you are very important. Your experiences and story may be the very one that rescues another in your path because you did not give up. I realize it often feels like giving up is the answer because the loneliness or memories or pain is so great. But I ask you please, &quot;Never give up on God, because God will never give up on you.&quot; And, if He doesn't give up on you, please do not give up on yourself!!! 

Another verse to remember is one Paul wrote...and he had a very bad past...persecuting and seeing to the death of Christians...he wrote in Philippians 3:13...&quot;I am not all that I should be, but I am focusing all of my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.&quot;NLT

Please accept the forgiveness and grace that God gives you, and please look ahead to the future he has for you that you have not even yet seen.

I know this does not answer everything, but I hope that it helps. God really does care about YOU!]]></description><pubDate>2010-02-02T22:45:01+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[There are yahoo sites such as sa online and even...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/do-you-provide-accountability/000000033</link><description><![CDATA[There are yahoo sites such as sa online and even some on facebook which could act as accountability sites. There are good people there who are avail. to support you.
I wouldn't reach out to family as they can be very judgemental concerning these issues.]]></description><pubDate>2010-02-02T01:12:50+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I highly recommend that you focus on the grace of...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/please-pray-for-me/000000976</link><description><![CDATA[I highly recommend that you focus on the grace of God. It is imperative that you remind yourself daily that you are not your addiction. God loves you and does not despise you for hurting or struggling with issues(Ps.22).]]></description><pubDate>2010-02-02T01:06:21+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[How safe do you feel in church? I don't feel...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/i-have-talked-but-i-dont-feel-free/000000953</link><description><![CDATA[How safe do you feel in church? I don't feel safe sharing my issues in church. I attend Celebrate Recovery meetings and that helps,but it doesn't take away the loneliness.
Ask Jesus to come to you in your loneliness and reach out to friends. We need others-they are Jesus with 'skin' on.
I endured a lot of rejection from the Church and now I've found friends at CR to be a sufficient community.
In Him,
Jacob]]></description><pubDate>2010-02-02T00:56:09+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Just like the other sender Jen my husband was also...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/spouse-of-porn-addict/000000944</link><description><![CDATA[Just like the other sender Jen my husband was also indulging in porn, magazines and just any woman who was willing to write sex things to him before we got married. I thought it was a passing phase.  Here I am 20 years later, with very little that resembles a marriage fighting the same battle of pornography. Once or twice I have the courage to confront even encouraging him to get help. But there has always been something that makes him not continue therapy. I get the small doses of how its partly my fault.  There is always a reason that I do not really understand. But now after almost embarrassing myself with begging for intimate attention, he decided or realized he prefers the other not me. Even he admits he likes it.

With very little self esteem, sadness, loneliness, feeling of being deserted, I have decide to move on.  As I mentally prepare myself I know its for the best.  Looking forward to no anxiety when he sits in front of his computer or blackberry.  A life were I do not have to feel like I do not measure up.  All his work traveling does not have to bother me anymore.  At this moment I cannot help to feel sorry for him.  ]]></description><pubDate>2010-01-31T18:28:38+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I too have a porn addicted husband who also lies...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/spouse-of-porn-addict/000000944</link><description><![CDATA[I too have a porn addicted husband who also lies to me about it, I know i can't change him but I can't come through dealing with this on my own, please, if anyone is interrested in becoming a prayerpal and penpal, please, I need to connect with women who feel what i feel so we can encourage each other NEVER to give up hope!]]></description><pubDate>2010-01-27T19:44:34+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I too know the feeling of being hurt in this...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/spouse-of-porn-addict/000000944</link><description><![CDATA[I too know the feeling of being hurt in this way.  My husband is also a porn addict and lies to me about it, Please, if anyone would like to be/have a friend on-line, I NEED ONE!! I know I can't change my husband, and I love him very much.  But I can't come through on my own, I need a prayer pal!! I would so much love to connect with someone who understands! ]]></description><pubDate>2010-01-27T19:29:26+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I understand what you are going thru. My husband did...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/spouse-of-porn-addict/000000944</link><description><![CDATA[I understand what you are going thru. My husband did it before we got married. Promised me it would stop. We have been married a year now and he is still doing it. Now he hides it and lies to me. It is destroying me and my marriage. When I comfronted him with it yesturday he told me it is because I of the other problems in our relationship. Also that I a so unhappy. He wont go get help. He tells me he will change but I have heard that for 2 years now. My advice is if he dosen't respect you now he won't when you marry him. I wish I would have got advice before I married, maybe I wouldn't be in this situation now.]]></description><pubDate>2010-01-21T19:37:27+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Freedom Begins Here website has a free download that...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/shocking-discovery/000000978</link><description><![CDATA[The Freedom Begins Here website has a free download that may be of help to you. It is Deb Laaser talking about her struggle when she found out what her husband was involved in. It is available on the home page and this is the link: http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/a-spouses-perspective
It is called &quot;A Spouse's Perspective.&quot; ]]></description><pubDate>2010-01-21T14:58:45+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[So, what you're saying is, what if Jesus really meant...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/the-bad-guys-of-primetime-television</link><description><![CDATA[So, what you're saying is, what if Jesus really meant what he said about loving your enemies? It's a tall order, and I've been thinking about this a lot lately because a recent family crisis. How do you show love to someone like that without the people they've hurt feeling like you're choosing the bad guy over the victim?]]></description><pubDate>2010-01-15T13:19:07+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I am amazed that 95% of the time I wear...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/apparel/20-50-crisis-shirt</link><description><![CDATA[I am amazed that 95% of the time I wear this shirt, I am asked about it.  Is that a new group?  What's the 20/50 Crisis? It's a simple way to open a dialog of compassion for people who may be hurting.]]></description><pubDate>2010-01-14T20:54:37+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Chelsey...I am sorry to hear that your fiance does not...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/spouse-of-porn-addict/000000944</link><description><![CDATA[Chelsey...I am sorry to hear that your fiance does not seem to want help. I know that no one will get helped in this area unless they really want to. It is a struggle even when help is wanted. Without wanting it...well...

Please remember that you are his fiance and not his wife. This will not get better after marriage. It will probably get worse. So, if he does not seem to care how this is hurting you now, he will probably care less later.

The question you may want to ask yourself is, &quot;don't I deserve better than that?&quot; &quot;Doesn't God have something better for me than that?&quot;

If he wanted help and if he recognized the pain it brings you and therefore wanted to change, that would be one thing. But if he doesn't seem to notice your pain or hurt and doesn't want help, that is another.

Do you think that God may have someone out there that will give you the love, honor, respect, and care that you deserve? Wouldn't that be God's will? To wait for God's best?

I pray that he comes to a point of major change in attitude, but if not...again, is that God's best desire for you? I can not answer that for you, but I believe that deep down you know the answer.

God loves you and wants you only to have His very best!

]]></description><pubDate>2010-01-11T19:06:30+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I am a finance of a man that is a...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/spouse-of-porn-addict/000000944</link><description><![CDATA[I am a finance of a man that is a porn addict. He doesn't think he is but he's been doing it since he's been in college he is now 25 out of college with no degree. ( he never graduated he got kicked out for partying to much and not doing his work in class. He tells me that i am over reacting when i see things on the computer that shouldn't be there i start shaking, my eyes water like a river and i feel like i am going to get sick. I have no one to talk to about this and no one to go to that i can ask for help for him. I don't think he is going to accept getting help with this because he feels that no one can tell him what to do. I know it's hard to quit something I've been there i quit smoking for a year and i had recently started again because of the stress of having a child and the adult website addictions he has. I just don't know how much i can take of this it's driving me apart from him...fast! Please help me help him.]]></description><pubDate>2010-01-11T18:27:52+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I am not a woman or a wife, but I...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/wife-dealing-w-aftermath-of-husbands-porn-addiction/000000975</link><description><![CDATA[I am not a woman or a wife, but I thought I might let you know about some possible resources. Freedom Begins Here currently has a free download on the home page called &quot;A Spouse's Perspective&quot; featuring Deb Laaser. For more information about her and possible other resources, you may wish to visit the website, faithfulandtrueministries.com. I hope that may help.]]></description><pubDate>2010-01-07T17:34:43+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[First of all, I would like to say this...never give...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/m-stuggling/000000977</link><description><![CDATA[First of all, I would like to say this...never give up on God because He will never give up on you...and, don't give up on yourself because God will never give up on you.

Secondly, this is not just a physical and an emotional and a psychological battle, but it is also a spiritual battle as well.

That said, I appreciate that you are asking for prayer. Prayer and filling our minds with God's Word are good. Those help to set up roadblocks to make the choice to sin more difficult. However, it is still your choice.

With every temptation, there is a way of escape. The question is, will we take it? Easier said than done.

Just a couple of ideas...Write down what your triggers are that make it so easy for you to give in and realize when you are vulnerable to them...put a plan in place ahead of time of what to do when you are feeling that way...not in the midst of the temptation, but ahead of time...try to find a friend that you can contact when you are weak...a mature Christian lady you can tell everything to and that will help hold you accountable...I pray that the Lord will lead you to someone you can share with and that you can trust...ask your pastor for such a person if you do not know anyone yourself...also, you may have to dump the boyfriend, if he is dragging you down...hard choices will have to be made if you really want change...please ask the Lord for wisdom and strength in this area...also, you may need to see a counselor...please contact a church in your area about this, if so...and, again, I recommend putting plans in place ahead of time.

This is not everything, but these are some things to start with. The fact that you feel bad about this issue shows that the Holy Spirit is working in you.  

God can always work with a willing and humble and repentant heart.

Finally, you are not alone in this. Many (more than you know) struggle with this very same issue. You are not isolated and you are not alone. Most are afraid to talk about it, but opening up to someone you can trust is a very good step. Many many Christians struggle with this same temptation.

God does not give up on the struggling!!! That is who He came to help!!! He will NEVER give up on you EVER!!! So, please take some or all of these ideas. Ask the Lord to please put the right Godly people in your life to help you!!! God will NEVER give up on you, so please do not give up on yourself. YOU are very VALUABLE to God!!! You, and all of us who struggle (and we all do with something), are the reason He came!!!]]></description><pubDate>2010-01-06T18:26:31+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I am a wife of someone who has been in...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/spouse-of-porn-addict/000000944</link><description><![CDATA[I am a wife of someone who has been in this situation for a very long time.  Sadly, my husband is a pastor and has great potential.  However, the addiction has a grip on his life that he can't seem to overcome, no matter how much we pray or seek God for deliverance.  It's very hard as a spouse to be in this position because the addiction causes you to have low self esteem and continually feel as tho you can never measure up to the fantasies and lust that is assiciated with this addiction.  I am praying about starting a website for spouses of porn addicts, because I realize that I am not alone in this battle.  Praying for all spouses who are also dealing with this issue in their marriages.  It's a hard battle.  God bless!]]></description><pubDate>2010-01-01T09:54:53+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Thanks for the review! I'm going to try it out...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/covenant-eyes-iphone-app-review</link><description><![CDATA[Thanks for the review! I'm going to try it out this week.
]]></description><pubDate>2009-12-31T20:34:49+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Thanks for the glowing review. We're hoping this really helps...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/covenant-eyes-iphone-app-review</link><description><![CDATA[Thanks for the glowing review. We're hoping this really helps iPhone users surf the Web with integrity.

Luke Gilkerson
CovenantEyes.com]]></description><pubDate>2009-12-31T15:06:26+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[please pray for me,

I have struggled with pornography for many...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/please-pray-for-me/000000976</link><description><![CDATA[please pray for me,

I have struggled with pornography for many years off and on at times when I was married. I am a Christian and it has affected my fellowship with Christ I know and I am so sick and tired of the bondage and want to be free and delivered from it.I got divorced a few years ago and it has been worse dealing with it because depression and loneliness always has me going back to view it. I love the Lord and I know He loves me and desires a closer walk with Him, but I always mess that up with this sin. I have spent many times crying and repenting to Him only to go back to it again. Pray for me please that I grow closer to Him and learn to walk by the spirit and not by the flesh and its desires.]]></description><pubDate>2009-12-31T04:52:15+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Please pray for me,

You are a child of God he...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/please-pray-for-me/000000976</link><description><![CDATA[Please pray for me,

You are a child of God he will not forsake you.  Jesus LOVES YOU unconditionally.  You need to pick yourself and move forward, an ask for help.  You need to shed light on your sin and get believers to stand with you. 

Understanding that you are not perfect is very important. If you were perfect you would not need Jesus.  We all have mess in our lives and our need for Christ is what keeps us in the right position to him.  

As you stated, your desire is not to sin.  You have maintained control in the past and move forward an get someone to be accountable with.  

Jesus loves you and doesn't want you to hate yourself for this one issue.  He wants you to be free and become transparent.  Be real!  As I stated we all have mess.  Jesus has grace for you now make sure your receive it. ]]></description><pubDate>2009-12-28T22:16:57+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I know men whom God has set free from porn....]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/quotsleepingquot-fathers/000000954</link><description><![CDATA[I know men whom God has set free from porn. They attended Celebrate Recovery in Albuquerque at the First Methodist Church on Friday evenings. There they can share openly in a small group of men about their struggles. There is another Celebrate Recovery on the east side also that I believe is attracting younger groups. The ABQ church can put you in contact with them also. There is hope.]]></description><pubDate>2009-12-24T17:13:28+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I am in a similar situation, and would LOVE to...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/spouse-of-porn-addict/000000944</link><description><![CDATA[I am in a similar situation, and would LOVE to connect with other women who are going through this.  It is SO painful, and there just isn't a place to go to have the support that we need from other women.  Please let me know if you're interested in connecting online.  If you'll send me your email address, I'd love to write!]]></description><pubDate>2009-12-23T02:17:16+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Very  great website.
The info here is genuinely helpful.

I will...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/men-at-the-cross</link><description><![CDATA[Very  great website.
The info here is genuinely helpful.

I will refer it to my friends.

Cheers]]></description><pubDate>2009-12-21T06:07:54+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I am so thankful that folks in the Christian community...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/support-for-girls-/000000960</link><description><![CDATA[I am so thankful that folks in the Christian community who truly care about reality are trying to provide help to fellow believers and others who are struggling with these &quot;not-appropriate-to-talk-about&quot; sins.  My marriage is struggling with all these issues.

Please DO include focus on what girls/women are facing.  The urge towards sexual sin is strong fo us too, and not too easily addressed.  Thank you, thank you for creating this website - God bless your work!  I just found it.]]></description><pubDate>2009-12-17T18:03:12+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[We did not design this as a guy site, but...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/support-for-girls-/000000960</link><description><![CDATA[We did not design this as a guy site, but I can see what you are saying. A lot of our stories and comments are from ladies, but we have not developed the issue as it pertains to women as fully as we intend to, yet. We are trying to gain in that area, but we admit that we are behind. 

Maybe you can help. Are you personally struggling with pornography? Do you have a story to tell? Would you be interested in possibly letting us video that story? We are definitely looking for more video content from women. Do you know anyone that may want to contribute? Are there any other ladies out that that may want to contribute?

We realize this is an issue that women struggle with as well. The numbers are growing at an alarming rate. Our 30 Day Devotional Journal is gender neutral and is a Biblical plan for guarding the heart and mind and putting a plan in place to resist this temptation when it comes. You may want to check it out.

But again, all female contributions, help, and ideas are welcome. Thanks for bringing this up!!!
]]></description><pubDate>2009-12-16T22:38:10+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[RE3frankie,

Talk to a pastor. Talk about your problem, and ask...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/i-have-talked-but-i-dont-feel-free/000000953</link><description><![CDATA[RE3frankie,

Talk to a pastor. Talk about your problem, and ask about getting involved in your church. If you're not apart of a church, join one. The best friends I have now--the ones I can rely on to have the serious conversations with--are people I have met through getting involved. It starts with simply spending time with people. Volunteering and joining ministries opens so many doors.

I'm praying for you!
]]></description><pubDate>2009-12-15T06:18:13+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[RE3frankie,

Sorry to hear you are lonely and you have no...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/i-have-talked-but-i-dont-feel-free/000000953</link><description><![CDATA[RE3frankie,

Sorry to hear you are lonely and you have no one to talk with.  Communicating through a chat line is not what I would suggest.  You need to be in relationship with people in your immediate area.  You may have tried and no one is reaching out to you, try again.  Communicate with your church the need you have and get involved. Giving of your time is a way to build relationship.

 ]]></description><pubDate>2009-12-14T14:40:27+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Safe Place,

We are excited you are starting an FBH group....]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/a-safe-place/000000957</link><description><![CDATA[Safe Place,

We are excited you are starting an FBH group. So glad that you have found a safe place.  Let us know how the group works for you and if you need any assistance we are here to help.

Thank you for the encouragement and we pray that you will continue on the path to freedom.]]></description><pubDate>2009-12-14T14:30:57+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I understand your circumstances but you need to bring this...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/ugh/000000959</link><description><![CDATA[I understand your circumstances but you need to bring this issue into the light.  The reason I state that is because at one point because someone was holding you accountable this was keep under control. So as you determine your direction remember that if is not about appearing to be perfect in man's site.  It is about being broken before God so find someone that is safe and have them hold you accountable.  

Remember to fill the void with Jesus he is the only answer. 
Freedom is worth the effort!]]></description><pubDate>2009-12-14T14:25:03+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I totally agree with your stand on this issue. ...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/christians-demand-sex-trafficking-</link><description><![CDATA[I totally agree with your stand on this issue.  Earlier this year when two families in my church went forward to commit their lives to flight the sex traffic in another country.  My heart was excited for them but my spirit was broken because I realized that the Church was contributing to this crisis.  We have a culture in church that doesn't allow us to address this issue.  

Now is the time for action and we need to allow believers to gain freedom in this area.  ]]></description><pubDate>2009-12-09T21:47:04+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[As someone that struggled with porn, other related sexual addictions...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/what-if-jesus-meant-all-that-stuff</link><description><![CDATA[As someone that struggled with porn, other related sexual addictions for most of my life, I would have never approached any church pastor about this issue, no matter how seemingly loving a church might be. Everyone is too perfect,  the church doesn't want to deal these issues,we mostly all put on a front, pretending our bless me club is perfect, living in denial.  With 40% of pastors struggling with porn do you really think they are going to deal with this issue? After finally hit rock bottom, I found a Celebrate Recovery group that has been a God send and in my 9th month of being porn free.  If your a pastor give people a place to get their lives in order and a safe place to find help, counseling can help but most aren't equipped to handle porn. If your a pastor and need help find it now don't wait till it blows up in your face and the baggage of shame you will endure. ]]></description><pubDate>2009-12-08T03:01:44+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I agree that the church desperately needs transparency. Our lack...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/what-if-jesus-meant-all-that-stuff</link><description><![CDATA[I agree that the church desperately needs transparency. Our lack of honesty is turning away a generation. It also makes many Church members feel inferior because they struggle with issues and feel all alone in that struggle because they think other Christians are not struggling at all due to their lack of honesty and transparency about those struggles. I'm not saying we should share every intimate detail, but we should at the very least admit that all of us have struggles of some type. And, if that begins with Church leadership, the members will then be free to be honest and real, themselves.

As this relates to pornography, one other issue we are not being honest about is that we want to pretend that only those who go to recovery groups concerning this issue struggle with this temptation. They do, but they are not the only ones. The vast majority in the pews, not going to a recovery group, struggle with this temptation and stronghold as well. We are inundated with lustful temptations via the media at every turn. This is not isolated. It is rampant. Please, please, let's be honest about it. We will never find freedom without the truth!

May pastors lead their churches in being honest and transparent. The people with an humble heart and broken spirit will follow. And then maybe a generation will see us as an example of transparency and honesty instead of as self-righteous bombastic hypocrites. Not to say that this is how most Christians are...I trust they are not...but unfortunately this is how we are becoming more and more perceived.

Any thoughts by anyone else out there about this???]]></description><pubDate>2009-12-07T16:56:56+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Also, the FBH staff would encourage you to walk through...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/single-mom-needs-advice-for-son/000000956</link><description><![CDATA[Also, the FBH staff would encourage you to walk through &quot;Father + Son: Talk About Sex&quot; here:

http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/father-son-talk-about-sex

This is a great resource, not only for Fathers, but also for Mothers to walk through with their son. It is fun, informative and will hopefully give your son an idea of what to expect as he grows older and matures.

I would encourage you to review it first, and decide if you believe it is a useful tool. It has a booklet and DVD included.]]></description><pubDate>2009-12-04T23:17:21+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[It sounds like you are doing a great job! Keep...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/single-mom-needs-advice-for-son/000000956</link><description><![CDATA[It sounds like you are doing a great job! Keep up the good work. As you raise your son, here are some key things to be mindful of:

1. Monitor the internet, but not too much. A child can learn how to hide his tracks easily if he knows he is being watched closely. Also, watching too closely is also a form of parenting that can push many teenagers into rebellious behavior. I have a friend who went too far with drugs, porn and rebellious activities because his parents were so controlling. You don't want them to act out of spite.

2. Provide a good male role model. Encourage him to go out to coffee with the youth pastor, or with another person you trust. A male role model will be key in his development.

3. Be mindful. Most behavior in young boys has a cause behind it. Encourage him to be social, a healthier social life will help him avoid things such as internet pornography. High work ethic, good attitude and a willingness to learn demonstrate a young man on a good path. Anger, pride and pushing away from family members can sometime mean other things.

4. Like flash said, find some good literature, encourage him to read the Bible, but don't force anything. It needs to be a willful expression of his love for God.

5. Pray. The Lord works through a prayerful woman and mothers in ways that amaze me.

6. Love.

Hope this helps!
-Jameson ]]></description><pubDate>2009-12-04T23:14:36+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Sounds like you're doing a great job.  Find some...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/single-mom-needs-advice-for-son/000000956</link><description><![CDATA[Sounds like you're doing a great job.  Find some good books like &quot;Every Young Mans Battle.&quot;  Read it yourself first.  Then let your son read it.  My son didn't have a choice.  I'm not saying you have to force him, but if he's headed in the right direction, he may already want to read.  And this is just one of many books on purity.  Knowledge is power, and always keep him in prayer.  GOD Bless YOU]]></description><pubDate>2009-12-03T15:47:16+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Like the strongholds that constantly harassed and troubled Israel from...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/freedom-begins-here-featured-on-life-today-with-james-robison</link><description><![CDATA[Like the strongholds that constantly harassed and troubled Israel from within because they had not expelled the enemy from the land, so any addiction like pornography acts like a 5th collumn that satan can use to attack our Christian life and undermine anything we seek to do for Him. We end up fighting the enemy on two or more fronts and become divided and less effective for the Lord. This is especially so because one addiction can often lead to others. It is great that these two men (Smalley and Cunningham)have been willing to speak about a subject that has thrived in an environment of secrecy and shame - even in our churches - and is spreading like a pandemic through the internet.
But,I have a queston. Hopefully Gary or Ted or someone can give me an answer. 
Do you have a solution that involves beseiging and removing the enemy strongholds rather than just trying to isolate them in those strongholds by blocking access and exit?  The latter approach doesn't work except maybe in the short term.  I have found that as soon as I have succeeded in keeping the stronghold of addiction under control (and am tempted to think I have overcome it), and then turn my resources of containnment away to getting serious with serving God, that the enemy uses this opportunity to break out again and try to hurt me from within.  He will almost always use a series of external temptations to encourage this and often in weak and unguarded and unexpected moments. I find that the guilt and shame (especially from another defeat)is the quickest way to neutralize your passion to serve the Lord, and then there is the temptation to give up altogether. Surely, this enemy stronghold is not equivalent to Paul's thorn in the flesh?  And how do you distinguish between the roles of the world the flesh and the devil in the whole addiction cycle?    
From Mark, an Australian christian for 35 years who has battled the enemy within since he got a foothold in my teens. ]]></description><pubDate>2009-11-26T00:16:36+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I am so glad for you guys bringing this to...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/uncensored-full-length-version</link><description><![CDATA[I am so glad for you guys bringing this to us. I am dealing with this myself. thank you.]]></description><pubDate>2009-11-25T12:21:11+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[It's hard for men in a church, to address an...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/quotsleepingquot-fathers/000000954</link><description><![CDATA[It's hard for men in a church, to address an issue, that they themselves have never decided to fight against.  The greatest thing you can do is to be the parent.  You control what comes into your home.  It's not a skirmish, it's a war.  There should be no pictures of girls on the walls, there should be no dvds, or tv shows that the plot revolves around sex.  Me and my son keep the remote next to us constantly.  We sometimes have to switch away from commercials that don't reflect purity.  If your sons are Christians, they should understand that this is how Christ would want to find us if he came to visit.  Don't allow any impurity into the home.  You also have to monitor the type of music they listen too.  I've thrown out pg13 movies because of nudity, or make out scenes.  Computers are just part of a much larger problem.  I think one of the best things a parent can do, is to read;&quot;Every young mans battle.&quot;  By Fred Stoeker, and Stepen Arterburn.  Especially for a single mom.  It will reveal a lot of things you may not be aware of.  When your done with it, make sure your sons read it.  It will explain to them why a life of purity is best.  GOD Bless YOU...I'm praying for you.    ]]></description><pubDate>2009-11-17T18:02:35+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Church should be a safe place,so many people have...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/pornography-awareness-week-video-pt-2</link><description><![CDATA[The Church should be a safe place,so many people have old wounds and past hurts and some of these things turn into addictions.We are all sinners and no one is better than or so bad that God cannot heal and turn ones life around,if we are willing.]]></description><pubDate>2009-11-16T22:00:59+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[oh god, what a struggle. i have been,at first,reluctant to
accept...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/a-spouses-perspective</link><description><![CDATA[oh god, what a struggle. i have been,at first,reluctant to
accept this women's ministry, i founded &amp; direct 501c jail
/family ministry. i've seen,witness profound crisis, but this past yr was my personal crisis.12 yrs betrayed,dishonored how no person should be. tore.the ambove
item is so on and much more confortation, seperation, abuse
&amp;much more]]></description><pubDate>2009-11-14T03:17:24+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Thank you Look Up, for your encouraging words and good...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/spouse-of-porn-addict/000000944</link><description><![CDATA[Thank you Look Up, for your encouraging words and good advice. I am getting help. 

Thanks
God Bless You]]></description><pubDate>2009-11-12T17:07:26+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[In Acts it says that the believers shared all things...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/pornography-awareness-week-video-pt-2</link><description><![CDATA[In Acts it says that the believers shared all things in common. This is more than just material goods, this is about sharing issues with each other. James tells us to confess our sins to one another and pray for one another so that we may be healed. Certainly the church is to be a safe place. How do we facilitate transformation without safety?]]></description><pubDate>2009-11-11T19:29:30+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Our ministry has also been disappointed at the disengagement of...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/quotsleepingquot-fathers/000000954</link><description><![CDATA[Our ministry has also been disappointed at the disengagement of so many churches and of so many men as the flood waters of the epidemic of pornography have risen to disaster levels without the majority of the church even addressing it, much less providing rescue and shelter and safety.

I hope that these thoughts may be of some help to you.

1. Talk to your sons about these issues. Not just once, but let it be an open and running conversation. Not a lecture, but a 2 way conversation.

2. Ask questions. Let them ask questions. No matter how awkward. Let it be a dialogue.

3. Be as transparent as is appropriate, yourself. About your own struggles with sexual issues and questions etc. I know this is between a mom and sons so that would probably be different in many ways than between a father and a sons. That is why I say be as transparent as is appropriate.

4. Always show unconditional love no matter what revelations you hear in response from your sons. When they fail in the area of porn, lift them up vs. putting them down. Don't freak out and don't give up!

5. Don't just talk about why porn is not healthy spiritually, emotionally, and relationship-wise, but also talk about what is healthy spiritually, emotionally, and relationship-wise. Don't just focus on the negatives, but also focus on the positives and benefits of not watching porn.

6. Put a plan in place for when temptation comes. It will come. So, knowing that, what is my plan of action when that happens? What to do? Who to call? Where to go? If we fail to plan, we plan to fail. Now, we may still fail sometimes, but it will begin to be less often when we have a plan already in place.

7. Help them to identify when they are most susceptible to the porn temptation. Is it when bored? depressed? lonely? around certain friends? 

8. Help them to learn to guard their hearts and minds with God's Word. Now, we still have the choice to accept or to reject what God's Word says when we are tempted, but the more of God's Word in us, the harder it often becomes to willfully reject what It says.

9. Also let them know that when we choose to willfully sin, we are missing out on God's very best. Try to help them see God's best and trusting Him (hard sometimes) vs. our best as far as we can see (easy sometimes) and trusting ourselves. 

10. As a practical matter, place all computers in the home in a visible open place. No surfing alone in a private room. Also accountability software. Covenant Eyes is very good. Anything like that to make private porn viewing more difficult.

This is obviously not an exhaustive list and all the points probably warrant further discussion and clarification. But I hope this may be a start to build on. I am sure others have advice as well. 

Freedom Begins Here offers the DVD and Guidebook, Father + Son: Talk About Sex. Ideally that is for fathers and sons, but if the father refuses, it could be adapted to also help a mom and sons to deal with these issues. It is available online at this website. There are free previews available if you wish to check it out.

And finally, you may need to find a different church! If the pastor and other men in the church have refused to help you in this area, then it seems like something may be wrong there. At least, that is my initial thought. I would give much prayer to this if indeed that is the case.




]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-29T14:42:47+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[X3watch is a good free alternative to Covenant Eyes, although...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/accountability-software-etc/000000955</link><description><![CDATA[X3watch is a good free alternative to Covenant Eyes, although Covenant Eyes will give you a much more detailed report of internet activity.  X3watch only lists questionable sites, where Covenant Eyes will rate all internet activity on a detailed scale for the accountability partner to see.  Try both.  Feel free to click on the Covenant Eyes link on the bottom of this page to try a free 30-day trial.

As far as further protection beyond accountability, there are filters available from both Covenant Eyes and XXX Church (SafeEyes software).  I would recommend at least the accountability software, and a filter if you think that is necessary.  Filters alone are not sufficient protection, in my opinion...too easy to get around.]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-28T21:53:30+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I think LMJ really struck on the issue.  The...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/pornography-awareness-week-new-video</link><description><![CDATA[I think LMJ really struck on the issue.  The culture around the modern church is all about each member trying to &quot;out holy&quot; all the other members.  (That was certainly my experience growing up in the southern baptist church and christian schools.)  To talk about your struggles was to invite estrangement.  One of my accountablity partners was arrested twice for public nudity several years ago, (before he became a christian) and as a result his name showed up on the sex offender registry.  When the sex offender registry was posted online in our state, some well meaning people expressed concern about having him around.  He lost his job (at a secular company) and was kicked off the worship team at his church, not allowed to lead a small group.  He eventually left the church because whenever he was at Sunday services, people would regard him suspiciouslly or avoid him entirely.  All that when his church SHOULD have rallied around him to help with his healing. 

Even in the secular world, I am utterly amazed that even though we live in such a highly sexually charged culture, if anyone admits they are struggling sexually, they immediately become villified and ostrasized.

I am a member of an FMO group and have an accountability partner, and I do feel safe discussing my struggles with them, but with the whole church? forget it.  I too would be run out of the church as some kind of an &quot;evil&quot; pervert.  One of the main reasons that non-christians have so much animosity towards the church is that they view us as hipocrites, and the lack of grace we show each other is exactly the reason.  I believe if we put down our &quot;gotta evanglize&quot; attitude and really focused on helping the people in our congregations find healing and the love of Christ, that non-christians would wonder what it was that we had and start coming to us!!

Jesus said: &quot;Let your light so shine before men that they will glorify your father which is in heaven.&quot; 

]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-28T12:43:14+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I know that is what the church needs, because my...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/pornography-awareness-week-new-video</link><description><![CDATA[I know that is what the church needs, because my husband is a sex addict and pornography user and I need help on helping my husband to get over the problem.]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-28T02:18:26+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[For any church that SAYS they are all about grace,...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/pornography-awareness-week-new-video</link><description><![CDATA[For any church that SAYS they are all about grace, understanding, and growth through human struggles, I have one critical questions: &quot;What is your church's policy on what they'll do when one of their pastors or lay ministers shares that they're struggling with pornography, marital infidelity, or sexual addiction?&quot;  If the answer is not to embrace that person's honesty and keep them on in full pastoral capacities (enjoying the fruits of the ensuing discussions and challenges as growth within the church), then I strongly encourage you to call them to task, reveal the hypocrisy, and take yourself, your family, your money, and RUN!]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-27T23:03:48+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[WhyPurity.org is a website that has been up for about...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/why-purity/000000021</link><description><![CDATA[WhyPurity.org is a website that has been up for about a year now to address this exact subject, and has helped and encouraged many. The article &quot;Find Me Please&quot; (http://whypurity.org/Home/FindMePlease) really hits deep when it comes to the longing and the loneliness you have to deal with as a single. 

I also have had the struggle with pornography, and know (from experiance) that even if you can put it asside, it will come back and grab you. It'll be a struggle for the rest of your life. But forgiveness will always be there!

BE ENCOURAGED because God grants the desires of our hearts, and if He has given you the desire to be a husband and father, He has given you the disire so that He might fullfill it. You just have to wait for His time, and the woman He made for you. 

Blessings upon you from the Savior! 
Erika]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-27T20:26:51+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[The church as a whole is generally judgmental and doesn't...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/pornography-awareness-week-new-video</link><description><![CDATA[The church as a whole is generally judgmental and doesn't want to hear the bad things because then they have to look at their own hearts. However, I have given my testimony a number of times about how I have been set free from pornography to our church and others and have never had a problem with anyone putting me down or judging me. I think that when one person is willing to stop worrying what others think about them, and shares their struggle, God begins a work in others around them. I can sit by and pretend that I don't have problems so I won't be embarrassed or I can care enough about others that I am willing to share my struggle so they can get help. God really blesses us when we care more about His opinion than others opinions. ]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-27T19:39:29+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[My church addresses the issues you talk about and we...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/pornography-awareness-week-new-video</link><description><![CDATA[My church addresses the issues you talk about and we counsel all sicknesses, abuses, and welcome all to our church to share their testimonials.  We do not judge and many miracles have been received to individuals who have come forward and professed the abuse spoken in this video.  We are a Christian Church and Jesus and the Holy Spirit is felt in our church.  Miracles happen, people are being saved, and all are welcomed.  My church is located in Patterson, LA; Word of Life Church.  Next time you're in the area, you are welcomed to visit.]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-27T19:02:18+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I DO know how it feels to feel so alone...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/spouse-of-porn-addict/000000944</link><description><![CDATA[I DO know how it feels to feel so alone in the battle...abandoned.  It is difficult when your hours are consumed in trying to get help for someone else.   When they seem to barely make an effort.

I'm sure your counselor would tell you (if they are wise) that you cannot change someone else.  It is awful when you want the person to change more than they want to change.  Especially when what they do affects your life too.  But it is very true that trying to change someone else only frustrates ourselves and depletes our energy for more fruitful things.

My counselor has advised me to &quot;get healthy myself&quot;.  I have read books on co-dependence and boundaries which have helped some but I think a good (Christ-following) friend/counselor is one of the best helps.  Someone who can encourage you toward the LORD, pray for you, and help you to see where your thinking is &quot;off base&quot;.  We all need love and support...it sounds as though you have poured yourself out to help your husband.  It's probably time to turn that energy back around to invest in you.  This is not selfish--it is for your own mental/emotional and spiritual health.  In the end it will help not only you but those you love.

These are things that I am working through as well.  My issues here are a little different, but the struggles are very similar.

God bless you...and may you find the peace and restoration that God offers to you.
]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-27T16:44:43+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Interesting video, especially since there are a majority of women...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/pornography-awareness-week-new-video</link><description><![CDATA[Interesting video, especially since there are a majority of women speaking, very refreshing and not territory often covered.
I've experienced the same &quot;feeling&quot;, not sure if the church would shun me if I was open about my need for prayer for porno, etc., but I DO know I haven't gotten up in front of the church to be that bold.
I've confessed what I would deem &quot;lessor&quot; sins and issues in front of the whole church, those that are hurting and open will say thanks for being transparent, but the majority of folks just smile and don't/won't bring it up. 
I emailed a number of men in a group I call Trusted Men, asking them if the email was for their eyes only, and could I be real and open about my porno issues with them there.
A handful responded positively, if at all, and they are a small group I get real with.
I don't believe there are that many Christian men or women, that have it as all together as they seem, or am I wanting everyone to be messed up to help me feel better? ;)
I couldn't even get a men's group to address issues, the Pastor would interrupt and say let's do outreach and evangelism, you all should be done with these issues. So we studied the same old book about men being excellent, written by 1000 different authors needing extra money.
I'm sick and tired of studying how to be an &quot;excellent&quot; man, when all I want is to Love God, and My Neighbor as Myself. Then Excellence is a natural by-product. 
So once again real issues get kicked to the curb, and we go on in our merry little dis-functional way, no problems here, if I admit a problem, I am denying Christ's perfect work at the Cross.
I have had that thrown at me. 
Thanks for being real, and at least bringing the topic up, we need transparency, and truth, and accountability.
LMJ
]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-27T16:42:39+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[We live in a time when behavior is more important...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/pornography-awareness-week-new-video</link><description><![CDATA[We live in a time when behavior is more important than Grace and Truth.  Transparency also has it's risk because poeple will use it to hurt you.  I believe transparency is the road to freedom and Grace.  I don't have to keep the mask up. Let Jesus take the STONE from your hand. He writes in the sand YOU ARE THE BELOVED OF ABBA!! That is b ]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-27T16:37:46+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[A good start, guys.  Grace and mercy trumps guilt...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/pornography-awareness-week-new-video</link><description><![CDATA[A good start, guys.  Grace and mercy trumps guilt and shame.  

The conversation here is pretty one-sided, though.  How many ordained ministers/pastors would be brave enough to join this conversation and admit that the church (more specifically THEIR CHURCH) has failed to provide a safe place for those struggling with pornography and sexual brokenness?

Looking forward to the next chapter... I think a little confession is in order.  No more excuses.  ]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-27T16:06:43+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Another thing is that masterbation can make someone impatient too....]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/masterbation/000000027</link><description><![CDATA[Another thing is that masterbation can make someone impatient too. Even make them unable to control their temper. Sadly though this can still happen even if you don't masterbate.In my life this has been an issue and so far I have been dissmissed from 5 forums so far without explanation. I can never go back there even though when I began going to these forums my intentions were to stay as long as there was fun to be had basically. I feel though that this pattern started when I was at a party and someone told me there was a guy trashing my parents car. I remember thinking I could take this guy down, but my ex-gf stepped in and held my hand and looked at me in a way which changed my mind completely. Basically when she was no longer a part of my life at all I guess I had decided that I could now start to avoid her speculation to hold back on my anger towards people that are out to get me. Somehow to me this makes sense because I can see that the point of my opinion no longer plays a part in my decisions in LIFE. So what should I do to fix this??]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-26T15:55:25+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Sorry I forgot to say why. I can't control my...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/masterbation/000000027</link><description><![CDATA[Sorry I forgot to say why. I can't control my thoughts they are unreasonable with my Beliefs. I find that before this problem became an overwhelming issue I believe that i was a follower of christianity all the time. Being around friends is a concern of faithfulness though as I find that they too can become an issue that concerns my thought. This problem however has always been apparent to me and my feelings. Idk what it is. If I make a decision there is always someting there that physically distracts me from my purpose and now in my life it is like this is what my life is always going to mean. I am ashamed of these feelings of confusion and dissappointment though I shouldn't be because they were Not constructed by my Will. I feel like this whole earth IS against me because of this and it has caused everyone I love to dissappear from my love. If only I had been given a good choice I could have prevented all of the evil that arose because of the confusion. It's like I will make God happy if we both agree to be confused. And we don't have to tell anyone about how it can feel to even consider such a notion. the fact is though it is the way it is. I can pray for no confusion, but when do I know I have prayed for it enough as though i feel secure about My decision to avoid masterbation.]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-26T15:48:18+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Hello. I am deffinitely not comfortable to talk about this...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/masterbation/000000027</link><description><![CDATA[Hello. I am deffinitely not comfortable to talk about this subject with anyone especially my gf, but here it seems OK I guess mainly because the reson I am here is because my urges literally have become a vicious concern to my physical safety.]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-26T15:41:06+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Yes! While most of the content is geared toward fathers...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/father-son-talk-about-sex</link><description><![CDATA[Yes! While most of the content is geared toward fathers and sons, it is still applicable to single mothers and their sons. We have had a few women order this product with the intention of going through it with their sons.

The important thing is that your son receives this education. We do recommend that the parent goes through the training first, read the booklet and watch all the videos so that they can be prepared to discuss.

Women are some of the best teachers in building great men!]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-23T13:54:27+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Good point. It is not married vs. single. Temptations and...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/whats-your-greatest-fear-about-admitting-your-struggle-with-porn/000000017</link><description><![CDATA[Good point. It is not married vs. single. Temptations and struggles affect us all. It is a human issue. The most important daily relationship affected is the one between us (single or married) and God. ]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-23T13:27:48+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Man up! Wow I agree but folks is this just...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/whats-your-greatest-fear-about-admitting-your-struggle-with-porn/000000017</link><description><![CDATA[Man up! Wow I agree but folks is this just for married people. I am sick and I mine sick that people just bring in the married people. What about single people, we struggle too bro! It is time that people come clean and stop separating married people and single people. We are all struggling. In addition yes we need to tell someone. It is hard, consequences, and very painful.  And last I can understand that we do have differences in married and single. But this is not married world. Its all men and women who struggle. ]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-22T22:32:00+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I'a single mother of a 9 year old boy, do...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/father-son-talk-about-sex</link><description><![CDATA[I'a single mother of a 9 year old boy, do you think its appropriate for me as a woman, to watch this video with him? ]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-22T18:15:49+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Hi KC,

I'm sorry to hear about your struggle but be...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/kc/000000127</link><description><![CDATA[Hi KC,

I'm sorry to hear about your struggle but be encouraged because there is hope in Christ. I am a recovering sexual addict and very well versed with your husband's situation. Sexual addiction like many other addictions is very selfish and self-centered. Your husband is in his own "fantasy" world trying to satisfy his needs and only his needs. He is lying to you and to himself when he uses the excuse of viewing pornography because there is no sexual intimacy between you and him. I agree with the first response. You need to lay down the law and make him very aware of the consequences of his actions. When my wife found out about my online escapades and sexual indiscretions she made it very clear on how this violated our marriage and our family. I was at the point of losing everything unless I got sound, Christ-centered help.  Don't be manipulated by him trying to turn the tables around and make you the reason for his addiction. Call him out and ask him to get help or he will lose everything. Pray to the Lord for Wisdom and Strength during this tough time. God is in control and will see you and your husband through this. I will keep you in my prayers. God bless.]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-22T13:24:23+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[About the cremation question. Freedom Begins Here has resources and...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/kc/000000127</link><description><![CDATA[About the cremation question. Freedom Begins Here has resources and hope for those struggling with pornography, lust, sexual addiction, and these sort of issues. Cremation is not a subject that we deal with in relation to the Freedom Begins Here resources.

You may wish to talk to your pastor or priest, depending on the church that you prefer or attend. I would hope that they could and would talk that issue through with you to your satisfaction.]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-21T17:51:07+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[You are correct! Many assume it is only a man's...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/whats-your-greatest-fear-about-admitting-your-struggle-with-porn/000000017</link><description><![CDATA[You are correct! Many assume it is only a man's problem. But, the latest surveys we have seen indicate that over 30% of Christian women now admit to struggling in this area. There is an article in the October 2009 edition of &quot;Home Life&quot; magazine, a LifeWay publication, titled &quot;Hooked On A Feeling&quot; on pages 48-50 that addresses this issue very well. You may also want to do some research on Marnie Ferree who is a lady who struggled in the area of sexual addiction and now teaches about it. I hope this is helpful. 

&quot;Dear brothers and sisters, if another is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each others troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone in need, you are only fooling yourself. You are really a nobody.&quot; Galatians 6:1-3 NLT]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-21T17:42:09+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Anonymous,

Will you never be tempted again? I do not know....]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/masterbation/000000027</link><description><![CDATA[Anonymous,

Will you never be tempted again? I do not know. Sometimes we are miraculously delivered from certain temptations and sometimes we are given the daily grace to resist the temptation when it comes. 

Like Paul and his &quot;thorn in the flesh&quot;. I'm not saying that was a temptation because we do not know what it was but the point is that God did not take it away but instead said &quot;My grace is sufficient for you&quot; 2 Corinthians 12:7-10. 1 Corinthians 10:12-13 says that &quot;God will provide a way of escape when we are tempted.&quot;

I do know that we have a choice as Christians. There is freedom from having to sin when temptation comes.

I like to put a plan in place ahead of time for how I need to react or for where I need to go spiritually when temptation comes. If I wait until I am in the middle of the temptation...too late. But, if I have a plan, it helps my resistance and it helps me to choose not to sin. Do I still fail sometimes? Yes. But not as often. Because I have set up spiritual obstacles I have to go through to choose to willfully commit that sin.

The main one is that I do not want to miss God's best for my life by choosing to go against Him by meeting my &quot;needs&quot; in my way instead of in His way. I shortchange my life when I do that. What I think is my best for me could never come close to what He knows is His best for me. It becomes a question of do I trust Him or not when it really gets down to it.

I often have to cry out for God's grace to help me to choose His way instead of my way. When I do that, the grace is there, but the question is whether I then accept it or refuse it by the choice that I make.

My sin then becomes a choice instead of just a reaction to something I am not prepared for ahead of time. I hope that makes sense in the way I wrote it.

My prayer for you is that God does take these desires away immediately, but if not, then over time as you let God's Word dwell in you as you dwell in God's Word, and if they are still there over time (hopefully less often), I pray you will choose to accept God's grace and God's way of escape that He promises to provide.

I realize that is a lot to say and is not a direct answer but I hope it is helpful to you in the temptations you face and in the choices you make. 

The really good news is that you have a heart that wants to please God. And, God will always work with a heart like that.

Please never give up on God, because God will never give up on you.

]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-21T14:11:12+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I have been burdened regarding cremation. My mother and several...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/kc/000000127</link><description><![CDATA[I have been burdened regarding cremation. My mother and several siblings have cremated and that is what I want. Please, please tell me if it is a sin. I am now over 70 and need some advice soon. Rhank you.]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-21T13:25:05+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Attention please!!!!Iwas recently part of a church thatwas infested with...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/church-toolkit</link><description><![CDATA[Attention please!!!!Iwas recently part of a church thatwas infested with sexual immorality.Now that I have moved on I still get numerous phone calls from guys who want to be set free from tis plague.It would be such an honor if yuo could could donate the church tool kit that I may share with my fellow brothres how to begin their freedom in Christ.Please mail product to 137 Newington Ave.,New Britian Ct.,06051.May the Lord Continue to Bless You!!!  ]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-21T03:46:25+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Here's a link to the stories section Jameson mentioned:
http://www.freedombeginshere.org/stories/...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/thanks-for-the-support/000000934</link><description><![CDATA[Here's a link to the stories section Jameson mentioned:
http://www.freedombeginshere.org/stories/]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-20T23:35:14+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Another unfortunate situation is the fact that everyone seems to...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/whats-your-greatest-fear-about-admitting-your-struggle-with-porn/000000017</link><description><![CDATA[Another unfortunate situation is the fact that everyone seems to think this is only a man's problem. I once summoned the courage to walk into a church treatment group designed to help those struggling with pornography and as soon as I walked in the room I was met with hostile stares and questions. I got te message; &quot;you don't belong here.&quot; I appologized quickly and got the heck out of there! I haven't been back.]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-20T21:17:06+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I struggle w/ masturbation im a  happily married women...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/masterbation/000000027</link><description><![CDATA[I struggle w/ masturbation im a  happily married women and we have a good &quot;love life&quot; but i still find myself having to please myself, but sometimes i even fantasize about women, and i know thats wrong, so i can i over come this???]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-20T18:23:26+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I,m struggling with porn, beastiality , and castration. My
mother used...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/accountability-pack</link><description><![CDATA[I,m struggling with porn, beastiality , and castration. My
mother used to tell me I'm unloved when dealing with this.
My dad is a controll freak and denys the problem exists.
My brother is arrogant and thinks I'm into kiddie porn. 
What do I do? I also recieve counseling at my local church.]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-20T14:13:43+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Also, if you have a personal testimony, we'd love to...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/thanks-for-the-support/000000934</link><description><![CDATA[Also, if you have a personal testimony, we'd love to hear about it in the 'Stories' section. These testimonies are encouraging others daily!]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-20T13:51:51+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I've tried to tell my husband this &amp; he just...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/books/the-language-of-sex</link><description><![CDATA[I've tried to tell my husband this &amp; he just doesn't want to see it that way!He has been addicted to porn and drugs for a while now and is not walking in his freedom from God! As soon as I can afford this book I want it! I've just recently gotten laid off my job and my husband has been gone! I do want to get this book! I've just watched James &amp; Betty Robinson and came to this website. Thanks so much for what you are doing!]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-20T05:19:28+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I am so very greatful that this ministry has been...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/whats-your-greatest-fear-about-admitting-your-struggle-with-porn/000000017</link><description><![CDATA[I am so very greatful that this ministry has been started through the obedience of a true man of God.Yes,porn and sexual addiction is more of a problem than people want to see.I have suffered greatly because of this spirit.In my particular case,the enemy used the church as the safe place because the church leaders would not listen.They were too busy trying to grow!My daughter was taken advantage of by the praise and worship leader.At the time she was only 17 and he was 29.I tried to talk to the pasture about what I discerned,but he didn,t believe me.A few months later my daughter wound up pregnant.Through this,it was found out that many other young girls were taken advantage of through the same vessel.God has blessed me with a beautiful grandson and my daughter is a wonderful mother.Because of this event we all quit attending the church all together.It just seemed to me that the church did not want to address issues of this nature.I really am greatful for the courage you guys have displayed in bringing this to the light.Keep up the good work!]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-20T05:18:35+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[My brother-in-law struggles with lusting.
Can you send anything for him...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/freebies/slide</link><description><![CDATA[My brother-in-law struggles with lusting.
Can you send anything for him to help
him?]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-20T02:12:39+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[That is correct! You are not alone! And, I love...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/open-up-my-ears/000000932</link><description><![CDATA[That is correct! You are not alone! And, I love your attitude. Please do not give up. God will never give up on you, so please do not give up on Him!!! It is more difficult to believe in a Heavenly Father of mercy, grace, unconditional love, and forgiveness when one has not experienced those qualities from an earthly father. But God is still really that way.

God will forgive anything you have done in the past and He will forgive any sins you commit in the future. He will never stop loving and forgiving you.

Please keep a good heart towards God and He will work in you and through you. He will grow you and mature you as you lean on Him. And, He will provide a way of escape for any temptation you face.

Many others do struggle with this issue. But God is bigger than any issue. And like the father of the prodigal son in the Bible, He comes running towards us (sprinting) to forgive us and to welcome us back...his children He loves.

You are one of His children and He now and forever loves YOU!!!]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-19T20:27:15+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Church in general has been very bad about the...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/whats-your-greatest-fear-about-admitting-your-struggle-with-porn/000000017</link><description><![CDATA[The Church in general has been very bad about the way they have treated those dealing with this issue, especially considering the % of church members who actually deal with this themselves. Very Hypocritical!! Many pastors, not all, ignore this issue because they are struggling with it themselves. Or because they don't want to be &quot;controversial&quot;. That is not right, but it happens. So, I understand your fear. 

Thankfully, there are many churches beginning to deal honestly and openly about this issue due to the sheer number of Christians caught up in this, especially because of the Internet.

I pray that you find a church that has humble and honest and real leadership that is full of mercy, grace, forgiveness, and restoration. A church that is a safe place for you to stop running. They do exist.

I also pray that the Lord will lead you to a true friend who you can open up to and share your struggle. I pray they will be there for you to hold you accountable and to lift you up. Those friends are rare as well. But, they do exist.

The Personal ToolKit would be of help as well if you do not already have it. It will help you to chart a course of action.

Please do let the running stop. Be a force for change in the church you decide on. Maybe you are the leader others have been looking for. Let freedom begin!

]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-19T20:16:35+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Hey as of late I was talking to young man...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/whats-your-greatest-fear-about-admitting-your-struggle-with-porn/000000017</link><description><![CDATA[Hey as of late I was talking to young man that is struggling with sin, and for some reason I told him life story of sin. I felt ashamed to be honest, he told me &quot; hey you look ashamed of what you've done Pat&quot;. And truthfully I was. I hid my sexual sins for so long. As for Church I tried so hard to speak to my Pastor about but seems to me he doesn't want to have meeting about it. Maybe because I came from another church I don't know. in addition there are so many problems at my church. Sometimes I feel scared to tell people because I seen the veil reactions of it. Guys I'm being honest here. I seen people cast out of church.  Thats why I have been from church to church. I'm tired of running and its time face it!]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-19T19:02:00+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I'm 18 years old and I was recently saved by...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/video-blog-share-your-story</link><description><![CDATA[I'm 18 years old and I was recently saved by Christ. Ever still these occassional thoughts of lust would come in my head and into my dreams. I've prayed to God that I be free from this. I try to block out such thoughts and don't think upon them exstinsevely they just pop up and I'm trying to make them go away but they just won't. When I preoccupy myself or think upon other things I am free from those thoughts but then when I'm all alone in my room or something they come back. I want to be free from this. I was sexually abused at a very young age by my step-brother and occasionally by my step-father. I prayed to God to help me. I cried out in severe desperation when I was watching TBN and a program talking about porn addiction popped up. God had indeed answered my plight and was trying to tell me what I was doing wrong. I knew the Bible said to confess your sins but I thought it only meant to God. He showed me I was wrong in my reasoning where He meant was not only to Him but to other people as well. So please pray for me so I might be free of this please. Also pray about the fact I impulsively cuss in my head as well cuase I need to break that habit too.]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-19T18:57:01+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Hi,


Thank you for the great quality of your blog, every...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/books/devotional-journal</link><description><![CDATA[Hi,


Thank you for the great quality of your blog, every  time i come here, i'm amazed.





 black hattitude.]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-17T07:02:46+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[THANK YOU, WAS VERY HELPFUL AND INSIGHTFUL, WISH WE WOULD'VE...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/video-blog-7-sexting-what-is-it-and-what-can-you-do-about-it</link><description><![CDATA[THANK YOU, WAS VERY HELPFUL AND INSIGHTFUL, WISH WE WOULD'VE HEARD THIS 6 MONTHS AGO. DEALING WITH THIS ISSUE RIGHT NOW.]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-16T04:23:49+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I thought I would share here.  I just joined...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/whats-your-greatest-fear-about-admitting-your-struggle-with-porn/000000017</link><description><![CDATA[I thought I would share here.  I just joined this site a few minutes ago. I have struggled with porn for a long time,sometimes the urges go dormant but they always come back. Last week, my employer suspended me for viewing porn on my company computer.  The company is deciding whether I will be fired.  I had to tell my wife--I came clean--but too late.  She has not decided if she will stay.  Both my wife and employer have told me that had I come clean and admitted I had a problem before they found out, they would have gladly helped me.  As it is......   Please pray for me.  I have ruined my life.  Do not ruin yours, admit your problem to your wife ask her in love for her help.  She will be mad but not as mad if you lie to her.  She probably already knows.]]></description><pubDate>2009-10-02T00:20:36+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Hi KC,

Unfortunately, for someone with a full-blown porn addiction, its...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/kc/000000127</link><description><![CDATA[Hi KC,

Unfortunately, for someone with a full-blown porn addiction, its going to take something huge to get his attention.  Addictions--whatever they are--take on a life of their own and begin to drive the behavior of the addict.  At that point, the addict has no control over the addiction, it has control of them, and the only way they will be able to escape is if someone (with the help of God) intervenes and pulls them out.  I call it a &quot;pigpen moment&quot; (a reference to the story of the prodigal son) when he realizes that he has hit rock bottom and has to reach out to God for help.  What that means for you is that you are going to have to love him with &quot;tough love.&quot;
Sit him down and tell him you know that his behavior is destructivce to him, to you, and to your marriage, and that it can't go on.  Make a plan to leave him (by that I mean move out of the house, or kick him out) if he doesn't straighten out by a specific date.  If he truly loves you, the prospect of losing you will get his attention big time.  I speak from experience, because the prospect of losing my wife was the only thing that ever prompted me to get off my rear and do something to get healthy.
Both Focus on the Family and Familylife have sections of their websites dedicated to helping the spouse of people struggling with Sexual addiction, so I would encourage you to read those.  I don't know if you are involved in a church, but if you are, you may be able to get someone to help you do the intervention if you are uncomfortable confronting your husband alone. If your husband responds to the intervention, and is willing to do something about his addiction, I recommend the 30 day devotional guide on this website ... its probably the most helpful guide I have seen so far.  Dr. Laaser hits the nail right on the head for addiction and how to get beyond it.  Its a gradual process, but it can lead to victory.  I am on my third year of fighting my own addiction, and although I am not free of temptation, I am walking in victory over the temptation, and my marriage is the better for it.  

So call your husband on the carpet, lay down your conditions, and pray for him like there is no tommorrow.  Then let God do His work, because only God can change your husband.
]]></description><pubDate>2009-09-30T01:39:19+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[&quot;Why purity?&quot; was always presented to me as &quot;because God...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/why-purity/000000021</link><description><![CDATA[&quot;Why purity?&quot; was always presented to me as &quot;because God says so&quot; ... thats it.  (I came from an ultra conservative Baptist background) I dedicated my life to Christ when I was 10 years old, not becuase I loved Jesus, but out of a sense of duty, and fear of the alternative (who wants to burn in hell?).  For me growing up, going to church was something I endured because it was the right thing to do, not something I wanted to do.  

And perhaps some of that attitude has affected my walk as an adult.  I know that Jesus loves me, but I can't get past my image of God as the harsh judge, just waiting to fling us into hell if we make one mis-step.  I am seeking putity not becuase I hate porn, but becuase I know God expects it of me, and my wife expects it of me.  Porn still holds a huge attraction to me that I have to beat away with prayer every day.  I still haven't found anything that calms my anxiety like porn does ... not even prayer.  Ok, you can tell me thats because I am spiritually immature ... I can take it ... cause I know I am a spiritual weekling.  

Well, thats my experience anyway.  I don't expect anybody to feel sorry for me, and I don't intend to excuse my addiction--I do know its wrong--and I am tyring to fight it--even though fighinting it makes me feel like I am giving up my best friend.


]]></description><pubDate>2009-09-30T01:11:00+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[.... which, by the way, I got very little of...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/whats-your-greatest-fear-about-admitting-your-struggle-with-porn/000000017</link><description><![CDATA[.... which, by the way, I got very little of from my wife.  She was so offended by my addiction that she insisted I go cold turkey, but was unwilling to lift me up or support me in any way ... this was MY problem.

I smiled a bit and laughed when I heard the stories on the DVD about the wives who fought for their marriages and stood by their husbands, becuase that was not my experience.  I think my experience is more typical, so any of your guys who have a supportive wife ... count your blessings dude!!!!!!!
]]></description><pubDate>2009-09-30T00:55:02+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I really don't mind admitting that I have a problem...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/whats-your-greatest-fear-about-admitting-your-struggle-with-porn/000000017</link><description><![CDATA[I really don't mind admitting that I have a problem with Porn, but probably because I have already amditted it to my wife, and nearly lost my marriage over it.  My fear is in maintaining purity.  There are lots of resources out there to help people begin their journey to purity, but not a lot to help someone maintain that purity they fought for.  I have been fighting my addiction for three years now, and attending a ForMenOnly group this whole time.  Currently, I am leading my group through the Freedom Begins Here material (small group pack) in hopes of getting the encouragement I need for long term healthyness.

One of my friends has been kicked out of two churches because he admitted his problem with sexual addiction, and the church membership could not handle it.  A lot of long-term christians just can't understand how Porn can capture a man's soul, so they assume it means the person is evil.  That's the hardest stigma to overcome.  So, I guess my greatest fear is people thinking I am evil.  I am not evil, I am a recovering addict, and I need grace, love, and emotional support to stay sober.]]></description><pubDate>2009-09-30T00:50:00+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[In Matthew 5 &quot;only the pure in heart will see...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/why-purity/000000021</link><description><![CDATA[In Matthew 5 &quot;only the pure in heart will see God&quot;, as well as the other scriptures mentioned, as Christians I'll presume we all &quot;want to see God&quot;, God's Presence as it was put in an earlier comment.
I'm not going to say we are all destined to sin so go ahead, but I will say or at least repeat/para phrase Biblical teaching: If you say you haven't sinned, you are a liar. When you sin, you have an advocate, Jesus Christ who died for your sin. When you ask forgiveness, God forgives you your sin and cleanses ALL unrighteousness. 
I believe that is the key, again, not to sin so grace abounds (may it never be), but repent, ask forgiveness and walk in that forgiveness and holy cleanliness, and I believe that's as close as any of us will be to &quot;pure&quot;, since in the one sense, we're all guilty of falling short of God's glory, so we are stained and impure, without the Blood of Jesus. 
Having said all that, Purity is of the Lord alone, Jesus died for sinners, took the curse of sin/disobedience on Himself at the Cross, and impute/imparted HIS Purity and Holiness and Blamelessness/Spotlessness to/on/in us.
What a deal! ;)
Matchless love, who can compare? 
Try focusing on Jesus and God's faithfulness and mercy, give Him the Praise and Glory, and I believe you'll find yourself agreeing, you're as pure as you'll ever be, and it's an awesome gift from God!]]></description><pubDate>2009-09-29T20:54:41+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Sexting is not only effecting teens, my husband of 5...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/video-blog-7-sexting-what-is-it-and-what-can-you-do-about-it</link><description><![CDATA[Sexting is not only effecting teens, my husband of 5 yrs. is addicted to it. I recently found out he had nude pics of himself on his phone and I was crushed. I confronted him about his new obsession and through the tears & I'm sorry's he still is doing it after I forgave him. Keep me in prayers!]]></description><pubDate>2009-09-20T23:51:33+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Rick,

Sorry I have not checked-in.  I had hoped others...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/video-blog-share-your-story</link><description><![CDATA[Rick,

Sorry I have not checked-in.  I had hoped others would join in the discussion.

I am finding out on a daily basis that your ministry and mine are in a preverbial mine field.  Every man who comes to us is one man in which Satan has lost his grip.  Satan is not happy about our cause and he attacks us in several ways.  Fortunately, my boundaries and accountability are so strong, Satan has abandonded the sex temptation for the time being and instead attacked my body (severe back pain) and our finances (we had a rough summer).  Wel, I will get relief from this back pain next week (epidural by an MD) and we have gotten a financial victory as well, with God's help.

Please pray for us as we will pray for you
Pray for the sinful husbands and hurting wives
Pray for the single man and the church in which he resides.
Amen

God bless,
Jerry...Psalm 51...the last part!]]></description><pubDate>2009-09-17T05:44:01+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I promise you we will continue to lift you and...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/need-answers/000000122</link><description><![CDATA[I promise you we will continue to lift you and your wife up in prayer at Freedom Begins Here. Please keep us posted on what is going on. We really do care.]]></description><pubDate>2009-09-09T21:22:38+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[thank you for your reply.. yea the giving up porn...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/need-answers/000000122</link><description><![CDATA[thank you for your reply.. yea the giving up porn was something even without though once i seen the damaging impact it does to the ones you love. i prey to god everyday that he give me strength to endure the next day and not want my wife in a sexual way so bad but i am learning to want her love more that just the though of making love to her. IT's just very hard. She still drives me nuts and i just hope and prey i make it though the seperation]]></description><pubDate>2009-09-09T18:01:56+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Wow! I am not a counsellor or an expert. But,...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/need-answers/000000122</link><description><![CDATA[Wow! I am not a counsellor or an expert. But, I read your story and I do want to encourage you. These are very difficult issues you and your wife are dealing with.

I am very glad that you are both seeking counseling. Are you going to a professional Christian counselor? Are these issues discussed during those sessions? You turned to God recently...excellent! Is your wife a believer? 

If I understand correctly, after Fireproof, you have given up porn. I am glad to hear that as using porn as a substitute for real unmet needs would not seem to be a direction that the Lord would lead considering the Scriptures. 

I will pray for you and for your wife that the Lord will lead you to the right help and that healing and restoration will take place. I do not know every circumstance and answer, but the Lord knows all and I will continue to pray to Him that He leads and directs the path for you and for your wife, putting the proper people in your lives, through counseling, communication, and His gentle love.]]></description><pubDate>2009-09-09T14:46:21+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I agree that its important.  I can remember my...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/scared-to-talk-about-sex/000000115</link><description><![CDATA[I agree that its important.  I can remember my father talking about sex to me only once, when I was about 14, and it was only about the mechanics--coupled with the admonition to wait till I was married--but with no backup information.

In retrospect, I don't know that if he had more of a talk with me that it would have done anything to stop me from getting involved with porn.  The reason I got involved with sexual addiction in the first place was an attempt to cover my emotional pain.  I think the best thing that parents can do to keep their children away from this, or any other addictions, is to make sure they feel validated.

1- dont just tell them you love them, back it up by spending time engaging them in conversation or shared activities
2- be slow to anger (I can tell you from personal experience that if a parent gets angry at the drop of a hat, it will make the child afraid of the parent)
3- never, never use gilt trips on your kids
4- encourage them to succeed, but don't tell them what success means--they have to figure it out for themselves. (my parents made certain that I understood that unless I went to college, I would never amount to anything.  I did go to college, but it did nothing for my feelings of self worth.  I wonder today if I might have been better served if I had learned a trade. Only God knows ... and I try not to think about it because I do believe that I am where God wants me now.)]]></description><pubDate>2009-08-30T15:19:41+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Ask and you shall receive!  As a Christian counselor,...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/counselor-toolkit</link><description><![CDATA[Ask and you shall receive!  As a Christian counselor, I’ve seen an alarming increase in Christian couples/families torn apart by the devastation of pornography and sexual addiction. Recently, I began to seek the Lord for much wisdom and guidance to effectively help my clients. As a result, I received a newsletter from AACC announcing the DVD series, Treating Sexual Addiction with Dr. Laasor, Dr. Amen, and several other professionals.  What an excellent and informative certification program!  After completion, I logged on to Dr. Laasor’s website in search of additional tools and was referred to Freedom Begins Here site.  I can already see how the individual and small group accountability curriculum will benefit my clients (men and women and couples) plagued by sexual addiction. This is what I need to better serve God’s hurting people.  Thank you! Thank you for providing such excellent tools for counselors like myself. It is with God’s help and grace that people can find lasting healing even from sexual addiction. 

Keep up the GREAT work!

Elizabeth Childress, BCCC
Life Educational Counseling
Humble, Texas
]]></description><pubDate>2009-08-29T05:10:38+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[New here. Wanted to introduce myself.
Thanks,
Dean Kirkland...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/brown-bulletin-cover-story</link><description><![CDATA[New here. Wanted to introduce myself.
Thanks,
Dean Kirkland]]></description><pubDate>2009-08-29T03:10:41+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Jerry,

Thank you so much for adding to the conversation. Lots...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/video-blog-share-your-story</link><description><![CDATA[Jerry,

Thank you so much for adding to the conversation. Lots of good information and food for thought! Unfortunately, our system cut off your comments before they were finished. They ended at so many people in churches have been ostracized...

Would you please re-submit the rest of your comments? We really do want to hear what you have to say! I apologize that happened

Thank you,
Rick
Freedom Begins Here]]></description><pubDate>2009-08-24T19:31:27+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Rick, your first question...Who determines when it has been long...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/video-blog-share-your-story</link><description><![CDATA[Rick, your first question...Who determines when it has been long enough?  That should be a &quot;team&quot; decision.  If the addict is working a true 12 step program or suport group, he should have a sponsor, a therapist, a Spiritual advisor, a church elder and his wife all involved in the decision process.  In that tight knit group, anyone should be able to veto such a move.  The addict and his wive need to review the possible consequences regarding their children, elderly parents &amp; family within the church, etc.  I observed Dr. Laaser turn down a few TV interviews when his children were in school.  He did not want them burdened with their classmates snide remarks.

NEXT QUESTION; was he fired for his lies, deceit, and lust or was he fired for confessing them?  We encourage men to give full disclosure to their wife as soon as they can both be in a safe place...then over time make amends to others he has offended when it will do no harm.  Many of these men are fearful of attack from loved ones especially if the wife is told of new information that is even more harmful.  I constantly and lovingly remind the men that lack of honesty (lies, deceit, hidden adgendas) is what got them in trouble.  Being honest is the first step towards purity.  It is tough to pure with secrets still stored away hoping that no one finds out.  keeping secrets is no intimcay.  The goal in every Godly marriage is honesty so that we can feel safe with the one we love.

NEXT QUESTION:  if he had confessed he had been in treatment for gluttony or greed (sins also mentioned in the Bible) would the consequences have been the same?  The Apostle Paul listed many sins in Romans 8.  But, sexual sin is the only sin against the 'body'.  I am not Greek scholar, but I belive that word 'body' is not just limited to a sinner's own body, but also the body he is connected or grafted into.  

NEXT QUESTION:  what if a minister is tempted and struggles in the area of pornography? Is this the sin we choose to fire him or her over? Should this be the one? Are there others?  As I said in my first post, when an unsuspecting congregation has a sexual bombshell dropped on them, it triggers emotional reactions, not a loving response.  If the church is full of sexual sinners who are not in recovery, they would want to make the confessing addict look bad so there would be no light left to shine on themselves.  The Pharasees were not dumb sheep when Jesus confronted them.  They knew exactly what they were doing in their sin-infested minds and wanted Jesus out of the way before they lost their ability to 'Lord' over the people.  There were most likely many others who were victims of sexual sin and did not want to relive this pain again.  I suspect the young Pastor was ignorant of these possiblities and thought he had &quot;love&quot; on his side.  Unfortunately, that was not the case and a team of wise men might have adivsed him to take an unpaid leave of abscence or some other tactic rather than have the congregation in an uproar.  Pastors, though human, have violated trust if the 1)steel church money or 2) commit sexual sin.  Many churches have that written into their by-laws.  &quot;If a staff member steels or commits moral imterpitude, that is grounds for dismisal.&quot;  Your readers might want to exaimine their church by-laws for verification.

NEXT QUESTION:  Where does the minister go for help? Will he or she be afraid to? Should they be afraid? Should there be an opportunity for restoration? What is that process?  I am currently a missionary - called of God and I serve at His pleasure.  I have been in ministry before and left for secular - lay ministry.  There are some that make ministry a life calling.  But, when our &quot;habitual&quot; sin gets in the way of our ministry, then we should step down for the good of the people we serve.  Gluntony was mentioned as a sin that needs exmination.  I know several excellent Pastors who could lose 100 pounds and they will still have the same effective ministry.  Other Pastors are physical specimens to the point that their exercise routine has prevented them from duties that important to the church at that time.  Neither man deserves to be 'fired' but all should fall under the umbrella of protection and accountability (in every area of their life) by their elders and deacons.  The Pastor who has a besetting sin needs to accpet that he is helpless to fight this alone and he must seek confidential therapy and then after some time in recovery, prayer and reflection, be honest with his wife, District Supt, and then a trusted elder or deacon.  If he continues to slip, stumble or relapse then more drastic action must be taken.  If the Pastor is having an affair or involved in criminal behavior then he should be reported and he should resign.  The more grevious the consequences, the more the Pastor needs to do to make his congregation safe.

NEXT QUESTION;  so many people in churches have been ostracized f]]></description><pubDate>2009-08-24T06:01:28+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Regarding Jerry's Excellent Comments:

Thank you for your feedback. It was...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/video-blog-share-your-story</link><description><![CDATA[Regarding Jerry's Excellent Comments:

Thank you for your feedback. It was good to hear from someone who has the knowledge and background you have with Faithful and True ministries. You raise several good points worthy of discussion, in my opinion. We appreciate that very much!

First, you are correct, we do not know the whole story. We may not have all the facts. We only have what was written to go on. Any speculation on my part or on the part of others would be only that, speculation. There may have been other issues or there may not have been.

Second, maybe the admission was given too soon. That is a great point. I don't know. Who determines when it has been long enough? I do not ask that to be argumentative, because I appreciate your feedback. It was very well written, and I learned from it. But, for the purpose of discussion, if others want to join in, when is long enough? Is it case by case? Are there guidelines? Should there be guidelines? Is this unexplored territory? Should it have been explored by now?

Third, was he fired for his lies, deceit, and lust or was he fired for confessing them? I realize if he had never watched porn he would have had no need to confess and therefore would not have been in this situation that brought on the consequences, but do you think he would have been fired had he kept it a secret and not confessed it? Again, I am not being argumentative (your comments are excellent!). I am just trying to ask questions to stimulate conversation so we can all learn. Not as enemies but as friends.

Fourth, if he had confessed he had been in treatment for gluttony or greed (sins also mentioned in the Bible) would the consequences have been the same? Why or why not, in the opinion of others reading this post? Should they be?

Fifth, I agree that ministers have a high calling. But, my question is (for the point of constructive discussion and education) what if a minister is tempted and struggles in the area of pornography? Is this the sin we choose to fire him or her over? Should this be the one? Are there others? What are they? Where does the minister go for help? Will he or she be afraid to? Should they be afraid? Should there be an opportunity for restoration? What is that process? I am not just speaking of this particular instance but of the subject in general. What are the thoughts of others? Let us know.

Sixth, the question of timing (again) is an excellent point. Were the parishoners ready? That is an excellent question. Evidently, they were not. That is pretty obvious. But my question is (again, just for the point of discussion and learning) should they have been? The reason I ask is that statistically speaking, 50 % of Christian men, 20 % of Christian women, 7 of 10 lay leaders, and 4 of 10 pastors admit to a real struggle with pornography and lust. Now, I do not know the demographics of that particular congregation so I will not comment on them, but chances are that in most congregations a large segment of the parishoners are struggling (silently - fear of confessing?) themselves. So should we act so "shocked" at what we know we struggle with in our own lives? Is some of that just "fake" to cover ourselves and our own struggles? Again, just questions for open and civil discussion.

Seventh, I do not advocate that confessing our sins to one another means that we "air our dirty laundry in public" or that we need to be graphic in detail. I believe in care, wisdom, and discretion. It is just that so many people in churches have been ostracized for admitting weaknesses. Especially in this area. Is that the right way to deal with this? I'm just asking. Are we not all weak in some area? I am just saying that God's people ought to be the ones we can go to for help, healing, and restoration. If we can not offer that to our own, what do we have to offer to anyone else?

Finally, I want to say thank you again to Jerry for his comments. We do not know all of the particulars of the story I read on the blog. I really appreciated him saying that along with all of his other excellent points. This reply is in gratitude for opening up the opportunity to discuss these issues in general. I hope and pray we get many comments and that we can all learn and grow in the Lord together. I will never pretend to know all the answers. But I will ask questions to hopefully stimulate good, loving, and compassionate, Biblical conversation among good, loving, and compassionate brothers and sisters in Christ. We also welcome your comments and thoughts if you are not a follower of Christ. We wish to be friends with you, as well.

Thank you,
Rick
Freedom Begins Here]]></description><pubDate>2009-08-21T19:22:15+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Jaemson &amp; Rick,

I am a full-time regional facilitator with Faithful...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/video-blog-share-your-story</link><description><![CDATA[Jaemson &amp; Rick,

I am a full-time regional facilitator with Faithful &amp; True of Jacksonville.  I have been in recovery from SA for 14 years, 11 months and one week!  I have heard a lot of stories about disclosure and the reaction of innocent parties.  I wanted to talk about the issue regarding the young man you read about who was &quot;fired&quot; from his ministry position...

I agree that it sounded like harsh treatment and I applaud the couple for taking the high road of humility and acceptance when they were honest.  After being 'kicked to the curb as you say' they seem to have a good attitude...But, it was only one year into his recovery and there were no guarantees that he would get to keep his job in spite of his District Supt assurances that all would be fine.  In this day and time, nothing is for sure on this earth.

First, we do not get to pick our consequences.  Remember, it wasn't the honesty that got him fired, but his lies, deceit &amp; lust that caused the termination.

Second, it seems easy to crictisize a church for their reaction, but we may not have all of the facts.  Possibly he had some other issues unrelated to his porn use, or there had been other staff members that had been dealt with.  Also, those of us who are called of God to serve in a ministry or church have a higher calling than those who look to us for Spiritual guidance.

Finally, we have no idea what wounds the parishoners are going through.  There most likely were many in the congregation who could not OR want to deal with this man's admission...it was just too painful for the average member.  Your scripture quote is correct but there is nothing that says we must confess all of our sins to an entire congregation when they can't deal with the truth.  A pastor should protect his flock while being honest.  A tough thing to do, but that is in my opinion the best thing to do.

As a church member and lay-leader, I gave up all of my duties at my church upon the discovery of my sin.  No one knew why except the Pastor, a trusted deacon and my wife.  My dear wife and I pursued a rigourous recovery program through a local counselor and Dr. Mark Laaser.  None of them suggested I tell my entire church.  It was 7 years after having Faithful &amp; True meetings in my church was I ready to tell my story.  And so 9 years after my fall, I told our congregation and they loved me accepted me and supported me (and my wife).  

If I had told my story too soon,they would not have been able to handle it and we might have been shunned or asked to leave.  But, we waited on God to possibly purge some angry people out and bring in more loving people.  I could then build on renewed relationships with a sober mind.  We are now full-time missionaries with our supporting church loving us all the way with significant financial support.

My observation is the young man went to his congregation much too soon with virtually no 'political support' from his Elders to stand by him.  It would have been better to stay silent and possibly resign, but God will work things out for him and his faithful wife.

God bless,
Jerry Sinclair, Marriage Missionary]]></description><pubDate>2009-08-21T02:15:28+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I agree with you Tyler that the earlier the better....]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/scared-to-talk-about-sex/000000115</link><description><![CDATA[I agree with you Tyler that the earlier the better.  Some of the problem is that most men are not comfortable in their own skin with sex so having a discussion with their son is really hard.  

This is a must for Fathers and Son to connect on this issue with all the pressures of life around this issue.  

Thanks for challenging Fathers to do the right thing.]]></description><pubDate>2009-08-18T12:20:49+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Yeah, $.99 downloads!...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/personal-toolkit-downloadable-content-099-for-a-limited-time</link><description><![CDATA[Yeah, $.99 downloads!]]></description><pubDate>2009-08-10T20:59:29+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[thank you! I really liked this post!...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/making-a-sex-and-graffiti-banner</link><description><![CDATA[thank you! I really liked this post!]]></description><pubDate>2009-08-09T06:23:42+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Hello. Thank you for this great info! Keep up the...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/making-a-sex-and-graffiti-banner</link><description><![CDATA[Hello. Thank you for this great info! Keep up the good job!]]></description><pubDate>2009-08-07T05:48:22+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[GREAT!!!  GREAT!!!  Did I say G R E...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/pornography</link><description><![CDATA[GREAT!!!  GREAT!!!  Did I say G R E A T?  How about Bravo?!!!!!]]></description><pubDate>2009-08-04T20:04:19+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Well, I got the vision of the playground and it's...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/freebies/slide</link><description><![CDATA[Well, I got the vision of the playground and it's features.  But that was not MY childhood playground.  It was the one the two guys mentioned THEY remember, but  oaky... And that was it. Though done nicely, I wasn't directed to... or encouraged to... It just ended.  Maybe if you gave some reference to your ?comparison of the playground to some thing or experience?  Maybe in the beginning or end?  Otherwise, I saw/heard nothing to get me to continue.  Sorry!  Maybe I missed it.  I am a Grannie.]]></description><pubDate>2009-08-04T20:01:26+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Hi!  Thanks for your commitment to Christ Jesus and...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/start-the-conversation-dvd</link><description><![CDATA[Hi!  Thanks for your commitment to Christ Jesus and your daily RE commitment to getting the WORD out.  As a GRAND parent, I realize that life is better in Christ--I didn't have Him raising my CHILDREN--and now watching my grandchildren enter the world of choice, your &quot;Conversation&quot; videos are such a lift to my spirit.  At Men At The Cross convention I was told of Fathers/Sons and Mothers/Daughters videos just released, Plese send information to me about this.  Eternal Love of Christ Jesus, GRAMMARDI in Missouri]]></description><pubDate>2009-08-04T19:51:35+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Hahaha, &quot;Get off my lawn!&quot;...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/porn-blaring-man-to-take-anger-management-classes/000000108</link><description><![CDATA[Hahaha, &quot;Get off my lawn!&quot;]]></description><pubDate>2009-07-29T15:07:10+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Whatever happened to &quot;Hey you kids, get out of my...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/porn-blaring-man-to-take-anger-management-classes/000000108</link><description><![CDATA[Whatever happened to &quot;Hey you kids, get out of my yard!&quot;]]></description><pubDate>2009-07-29T15:01:07+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Good stuff with a surprise ending! The one thing that...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/relevant-article-on-masturbation/000000110</link><description><![CDATA[Good stuff with a surprise ending! The one thing that struck me and that I totally agree with is &quot;We can not have a healthy attitude about sexuality if we refuse to talk about it. The church is the first to ignore something that is uncomfortable to discuss. That lack of healthy and honest communication about sexuality and its place in the lives of Christians is the reason for many of Christians' sexual and relationship problems.&quot;]]></description><pubDate>2009-07-29T14:56:14+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[is that true??...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/cable-and-satellite-providers-to-push-pay-per-view-porn</link><description><![CDATA[is that true??]]></description><pubDate>2009-07-25T09:00:10+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Thanks for the effort you put in here I appreciate...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/men-at-the-cross</link><description><![CDATA[Thanks for the effort you put in here I appreciate it!]]></description><pubDate>2009-07-21T16:26:48+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[as there r many single moms today, is there any...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/father-son-talk-about-sex</link><description><![CDATA[as there r many single moms today, is there any video for a mom to tell]]></description><pubDate>2009-07-16T18:49:01+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Very interesting followup article here:

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/features-reviews/life/17534-is-masturbation-sin-a-follow-up

Turns out at the time he...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/relevant-article-on-masturbation/000000110</link><description><![CDATA[Very interesting followup article here:

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/features-reviews/life/17534-is-masturbation-sin-a-follow-up

Turns out at the time he was defending masturbation, the author confesses that he was regularly struggling with pornography.]]></description><pubDate>2009-07-16T16:35:11+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Ronaldo, Glad you posted!  You should definitely check out...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/wretched-old-man/000000111</link><description><![CDATA[Ronaldo, Glad you posted!  You should definitely check out Gary Smalley's testimony...
Link:
http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/gary-smalleys-testimony

He talks about dealing with his lifelong addiction to lust and how he learned to control those feelings that creep upon us during prayer and throughout the day.  Hope that helps!]]></description><pubDate>2009-07-16T05:28:37+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Haha, I'm not even sure what to make of that....]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/porn-blaring-man-to-take-anger-management-classes/000000108</link><description><![CDATA[Haha, I'm not even sure what to make of that.  I probably shouldn't be laughing though.  I guess it seems like something that would be in a movie or something but not actually happen in real life.]]></description><pubDate>2009-07-15T19:24:19+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Wow, very interesting read!...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/relevant-article-on-masturbation/000000110</link><description><![CDATA[Wow, very interesting read!]]></description><pubDate>2009-07-15T19:05:25+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[In addition to watching them on your iPhone, you can...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/watch-fbh-videos-on-your-iphone</link><description><![CDATA[In addition to watching them on your iPhone, you can also download ALL of our preview videos!  No more having to wait for them to load every time you want to watch... (Since I know you watch them all the time... right?)]]></description><pubDate>2009-07-10T16:33:17+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Outstanding job! Will raise a few eyebrows!...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/making-a-sex-and-graffiti-banner</link><description><![CDATA[Outstanding job! Will raise a few eyebrows!]]></description><pubDate>2009-07-09T18:40:00+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[This is the #1 issue that I have in counseling...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/counselor-toolkit</link><description><![CDATA[This is the #1 issue that I have in counseling today - I see it each and every week, and sometimes in back to back counseling sessions. Nothing surprises me any longer in this arena - and it is damaging and destroying homes at an alarming rate, and the church as a whole has been totally passive in this regard.

Freedom Begins Here is presented in a very understandable and yet deeply professional way. I am considered the #1 expert on Sexual Addiction at Second Baptist Church, Houston, Texas under the leadership of Dr. Ed Young with over 41,000 members.

I have found that the more I counsel, the more I don&#039;t know, but one thing is for sure, the statistics of addiction are higher that the statistics presented in the Freedom Begins Here series.

Benno J. Bauer
Pastor
Second Baptist Church
Houston, Texas]]></description><pubDate>2009-07-08T17:29:01+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Preach it Rick!...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/freedom/000000057</link><description><![CDATA[Preach it Rick!]]></description><pubDate>2009-07-07T04:03:26+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Freedom on the 4th and Freedom Forever (available) because of...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/freedom/000000057</link><description><![CDATA[Freedom on the 4th and Freedom Forever (available) because of the death, burial, and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ!!! Let THAT Freedom Ring and let us incorporate it into our daily temptations, choices, and lives. He who the Son has set free is free indeed. John 8:36]]></description><pubDate>2009-07-07T04:01:33+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I dunno if I'm being cheeky doing this, but I...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/do-you-provide-accountability/000000033</link><description><![CDATA[I dunno if I'm being cheeky doing this, but I run an online community based on accountability and discipleship. http://j516.com is the link.]]></description><pubDate>2009-07-04T18:37:50+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Maybe many pastors have forgotten why they got into the...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/talking-with-your-pastor/000000034</link><description><![CDATA[Maybe many pastors have forgotten why they got into the ministry in the 1st place. It was probably to share God's truth and to help people. People needing that help. The challenge was exciting and our vision of God was so large! 

But, maybe over time and church boards and building projects and family and financial responsibilities that original people passion has given way to personal preservation.

Maybe it has become a career instead of a calling.

Maybe we all need to remember why we got into this in the 1st place.

Maybe we need to do what is right, to take a risk, and to do what God has called us to do. To meet people at their point of need and to help them. Let the consequences fall where they may, because our trust is in the Lord.

"But Peter and John replied, Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God's sight to obey you rather than God. For we can not help speaking about what we have seen and heard." Acts 4:19-20 NIV

Maybe we need a new boldness. A new vision. A new passion for our original calling. A new revelation of the sufficiency and BIG-NESS of God.  

Maybe we do need to get back to why we got into this in the 1st place. When we were small and just trusted in God as we did the right thing. Let's go back to the beginning and recapture that passion. Let's recapture that zeal. Let's trust in the Lord. Let's Do The Right Thing!]]></description><pubDate>2009-07-02T15:04:49+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Pornography is 100% visual.  Any pictures (art) related to...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/video-blog-ipod-winners-pornaintpretty</link><description><![CDATA[Pornography is 100% visual.  Any pictures (art) related to it can be triggering, for the addict or the recovering addict. I, By The Grace Of God, have over 10 years sobriety from sex addiction.  The 'tentacles' art was a trigger for me.  I have learned how to deal with triggers so no damage done to me or my recovery, but what of those not as far along.  I don't know that the "porn aint pretty" is a good idea.  I am thinking about what my art might look like and it AINT nothing ANYONE should see. Hear yes, see no. Hear about the solution (not the problem, the problem is already known), hear about others (ES&H)experience, strength & hope about being free of this addictive sin. What it was like, what happened, and what it is like now. This should include both failures and victories.  
I told myself that I was not going to get involved with this ministry, due to lack of time, but when "I" got triggered I felt part of my continued recovery is to speak up and help others.
Thanks, Chuck  ]]></description><pubDate>2009-07-02T14:25:18+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Then who holds church leadership responsible?!

I understand that scripture calls...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/talking-with-your-pastor/000000034</link><description><![CDATA[Then who holds church leadership responsible?!

I understand that scripture calls us to respect leadership and the office they hold.  But at what point does respect for the office become an excuse not to deal with a tough subject?  If leadership isn't dealing with the issues then is it not fair to ask them, why?  Given the statistics, you've got a 50/50 chance that the pastor you are talking to is struggling with it themselves.  Why not offer to have someone go through the computer and install safe guards?  Why not offer to check through the church's computers (all of them).  If they turn down such a gift, why would they?  Let's quit accepting and offering excuses.

I'm not talking about a witch hunt.  I'm talking about setting your mind fixed on an issue and dealing with it.  "Dealing with it" includes loving those who fail, helping those who struggle, and forgiving those who may have caused you pain.  "Dealing with it" also means "fleeing" from the temptation.  We've got to help each other get away from the temptation.  ]]></description><pubDate>2009-07-02T13:53:38+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I agree, it definitely has a lot to do with...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/talking-with-your-pastor/000000034</link><description><![CDATA[I agree, it definitely has a lot to do with image!
]]></description><pubDate>2009-07-01T15:46:26+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I think it has a lot to do with image....]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/talking-with-your-pastor/000000034</link><description><![CDATA[I think it has a lot to do with image. Churches and pastors don't want to risk hurting their image by actually admitting that people in their church and, dare I say it, their leadership are struggling with this. ]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-30T21:59:52+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[This seems to be the trend... the Pastor agrees to...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/talking-with-your-pastor/000000034</link><description><![CDATA[This seems to be the trend... the Pastor agrees to do a sermon or start a group and then the missions conference happens, or the summer holidays come up, or whatever... Top of mind issues slide back under the covers (pun intended) and we're back to square one.

These matters only seem to come to the surface in a church when a member of the leadership team is found out as having a struggle with porn themselves.  I don't wish that on anyone, and yet I wonder if the brokenness of a Haggard situation isn't the best thing that could happen to start the conversation.

God have mercy on us all.]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-30T20:11:59+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I watched this video with my 11 year old son...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/father-son-talk-about-sex</link><description><![CDATA[I watched this video with my 11 year old son and it was great! The video answered a lot of my son's questions and after we finished watching the DVD he gave me a hug! I was rather moved by his appreciation for helping him to not only understand sex, but hear about sex from God's perspective. My son also heard about the dangers of porn. Great job guys! I will pass this around to the men at my church.
-Pastor Henry]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-30T05:36:27+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[PS--maybe a logo that says "not everyone is doing it....]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/porn-aint-pretty</link><description><![CDATA[PS--maybe a logo that says "not everyone is doing it. FBH." Or one that's pro-relationships and anti-porn. To show we're not anti-porn because we want to spoil anyone's fun but because we want to offer people a better way--lives that aren't stained and trapped by porn. Yeah, good luck putting that in an image! But a picture is worth a thousand words. . .]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-28T04:28:17+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Hmmm...

While the artwork is good I just keep thinking--"what's the...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/porn-aint-pretty</link><description><![CDATA[Hmmm...

While the artwork is good I just keep thinking--"what's the point of it?" It does get people involved by being able to download it so I guess my biggest problem--
I am not really seeing how this uses the stories that you've gotten. Maybe more direct and more visible quotes??? Maybe you can get more people to come in and tell their stories on video?? I'm still getting used to the idea--bumper stickers with a logo that's easily recognized as anti-porn would be cool. B)]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-28T04:24:44+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Apparently, people are afraid... People are scared to talk to...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/talking-with-your-pastor/000000034</link><description><![CDATA[Apparently, people are afraid... People are scared to talk to their pastors about porn... Pastors are scared to talk about it in front of their churches.  It's like when your parents try to talk to you about sex (if they ever did).  It's uncomfortable.  Most people would just rather just not talk about it because it's uncomfortable!  It is, but it shouldn't be!  We're all human, we all screw up... let's start accepting that and move past the shame and guilt!]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-26T21:40:20+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[My pastor goes through a book of the Bible a...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/talking-with-your-pastor/000000034</link><description><![CDATA[My pastor goes through a book of the Bible a verse at a time. He has mentioned that pornography is addictive and an epidemic in our society when he comes to a passage that may relate, but he does not usually do topical messages so he has not addressed it for a whole sermon. He has counseled several men dealing with this, and I am sure he is counseling some even now. So, it is mentioned from the pulpit several times, but not addressed as a topic for the message.]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-26T14:20:58+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Great feedback!  Also, these are pretty early pieces -...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/porn-aint-pretty</link><description><![CDATA[Great feedback!  Also, these are pretty early pieces - hence the typos and misspellings :)

We'll make sure they are corrected!]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-25T19:31:43+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I believe we are. Not intentionally, of course, but anything...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/interesting-perspective/000000035</link><description><![CDATA[I believe we are. Not intentionally, of course, but anything flows easier and can become the norm without resistance. I especially liked the part about fantasy causing us to ignore reality. It can cause us at the very least to not appreciate reality and to not deal with reality in a healthy way, as in male-female relationships. And, this can NOT be good. Reality is where we really live (obviously) and any silence that legitimizes not dealing with that in a healthy and forthright manner or that makes us not deal with it much at all is a silence that must be resisted. The potential damage and ripple effects must be acknowledged. Let the discussion begin.]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-25T19:29:21+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I think it's a great idea. You have a spelling...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/porn-aint-pretty</link><description><![CDATA[I think it's a great idea. You have a spelling error on the second one though. You spelt pornography as pronography.]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-24T15:50:57+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I like the Octopus (sp)in full view.  It is...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/porn-aint-pretty</link><description><![CDATA[I like the Octopus (sp)in full view.  It is a little difficult to 'get it' in a small version.  

The Good Father is fair.  It is hard to read and follow, but that may be me and my generational shortcomings.  It is hard to read some of the words as the font color is too soft.  One thing that struck me is the statement "he is a good provider".  This is an excuse a lot of sex addicts verbalize, " I have been a good provider for my family."  My response is "Yes, that may be true, but you have been a terrible 'protector', which is more important than anything money could provide."

so....the wife could say, "He is a good father and provider, but a terrible protector of our home."

Keep up the good work,
God bless,
Jerry
www.southpointbaptist.org/psalm51.htm]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-24T15:18:49+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Hey Everyone, 

Please tell us what you think about this!...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/porn-aint-pretty</link><description><![CDATA[Hey Everyone, 

Please tell us what you think about this! Love it, hate it, don't care? We just want to know.  

We want to know if this is an effective way for you to get involved with the cause. 

Is this something you would post on your Facebook, Myspace, or Twitter? ]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-24T14:49:41+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Yes, I tried to get our previous pastor to a...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/talking-with-your-pastor/000000034</link><description><![CDATA[Yes, I tried to get our previous pastor to a message on this. He agreed to do it but at the last minute the leadership pulled the plug on all advertising. They chickened out and no one showed up to the meeting. What a surprise!  ]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-23T14:26:34+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[JP - What do you mean by "I can provide...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/do-you-provide-accountability/000000033</link><description><![CDATA[JP - What do you mean by "I can provide info on a lot of stuff"?

Just curious!]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-23T00:42:29+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Great question JP!  Currently we don't (can't) provide accountability,...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/do-you-provide-accountability/000000033</link><description><![CDATA[Great question JP!  Currently we don't (can't) provide accountability, mainly because we're a pretty small organization.  That's not to say we wouldn't love to have it available!  We have thrown around a few ideas such as an online live chat to provide a safe place... which could definitely act as an "Accountability" place... if that makes sense?

What we DO provide is the Accountability Pack, http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/accountability-pack

The idea is for you to get a friend, dad, brother, other person, etc., and go through it together.  It includes Covenant Eyes Accountability Software, 2 Devotional Journals, and the Personal ToolKit DVD for you to watch together, or independently and then talk about it and learn about what it looks like to keep each other accountable.


Do you think having a live chat room with an administrator/moderator would be helpful?]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-21T17:42:17+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Bing software is not new, MSN had it before the...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/video-blog-microsofts-bingcom-puts-porn-in-motion</link><description><![CDATA[Bing software is not new, MSN had it before the switch was made! Just like touchscreen the software/hardware was there, but it wasn't as practical until Steve Jobs made the IPhone...it is easier to search for things and to pass passwords, software, adware, and all that stuff now!!!
For example: Naomi filtering...had it, and I was able to find a solution on CNET and take it off my computer (it had a password) Everything seems permissible online nowadays!
]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-21T17:32:15+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Deborah,

Great story and we are praying that you can restore...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community//000000032</link><description><![CDATA[Deborah,

Great story and we are praying that you can restore your marriage.  We here at Freedom Begins Here are interested in restoring lives.  ]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-19T16:12:38+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Deborah,
Thanks for writing this. Nobody better get any ideas of...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community//000000032</link><description><![CDATA[Deborah,
Thanks for writing this. Nobody better get any ideas of checking that site out... not even for "research"!]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-18T22:22:19+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[That Brent Barrowcliff is a star in the making! Have...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/at-the-warehouse</link><description><![CDATA[That Brent Barrowcliff is a star in the making! Have I seen him on commercials? Does he have any acting credits? Well, he ought to have! That's for sure! Dust off a spot for a future Hollywood Star on the Walk of Fame. Bravo!!!!!]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-18T19:23:53+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Hi,

You should know that Bing now has an "explicit" sub-domain...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/video-blog-microsofts-bingcom-puts-porn-in-motion</link><description><![CDATA[Hi,

You should know that Bing now has an "explicit" sub-domain (see http://www.computerworld.com/action/article.do?command=viewArticleBasic&articleId=9134395) that covers some of these concerns as this sub-domain can be black-listed.

Thanks,

John Wilkerson]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-18T18:38:14+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I have 2 uncles each with kids around the ages...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/fathers-and-sons/000000030</link><description><![CDATA[I have 2 uncles each with kids around the ages of 7-12 and I'm going to be sending them each a copy of Father+Son soon! Hope they can handle it!]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-18T15:39:52+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[

I received a phone call this weekend from someone who...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/fathers-and-sons/000000030</link><description><![CDATA[

I received a phone call this weekend from someone who spoke with a person that had used the Father + Son product.  They expressed that it had communicated the facts and they enjoyed the humor. So my hope and pray is that it bond Fathers and Sons together on this difficult subject. ]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-17T13:31:32+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[@pjrey

You bring up a great point in your closing sentence!...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/why-purity/000000021</link><description><![CDATA[@pjrey

You bring up a great point in your closing sentence!  I know we've talked about it in the office before too, that feeling of, "If I'm sinning is God really hearing my prayers?"  I don't have an answer to the question though, because I know I've asked myself before and felt like I didn't get an answer, haha.  The "easy" answer is to refer to Grace... but that doesn't necessarily put me at ease when I know I'm in the wrong.

So basically, all that's to say... I dunno.]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-16T03:28:54+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Years ago when I was in the Navy I met...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/why-purity/000000021</link><description><![CDATA[Years ago when I was in the Navy I met this young lady that all the Christian guys fell in love with. She was so innocent so niave so pure. I believe we fell in love with Holy spirit that was in her. I know with in myself when I am living for God I attract people and I can love them. But when I am not I have a hard time talking with them and they don't seem to come around me as much. That is how sin affects us. That is also how purity affects us. I need to live my life for God as we all do.
Purity is a big thing if there is sin in our lives it seems our prayers will not go beyond the ceiling of the room we are in.]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-16T00:07:41+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I know how Varlen feels. I have tried to talk...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/whats-your-greatest-fear-about-admitting-your-struggle-with-porn/000000017</link><description><![CDATA[I know how Varlen feels. I have tried to talk with some of the leadership in my church and they have "shared" some of the my hurts with other people in the church and they have gotten back to me. I call that gossip and that hurts. So then who do you go to if you can't go to the leadership of the church.
I have gone to the leadership to discuss porn and its affects and they could not understand how anyone could get addicted to anything like porn. I have convinced them to allow me to share this with the congragation so please pray for me but they still seem closed to the need for sharing this in our church.
My fear is that now one will be there to help me if I came clean. I look around the different websites for help and should be able to go to friends and church but am so affraid of what they might say or not say.]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-15T23:57:29+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I like what I have read also like what Dr.Gary...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/church-toolkit</link><description><![CDATA[I like what I have read also like what Dr.Gary Smalley say on back cover.I was really involved in this life but not know by the grace of God]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-13T20:21:24+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Good job on this new site. I even like the...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/welcome-to-the-new-freedombeginshereorg/000000011</link><description><![CDATA[Good job on this new site. I even like the color scheme. Pretty cool! Go! Freedom Begins Here!!!!!]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-12T15:30:04+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I think we have "Americanized" the Bible. I am all...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/what-are-the-issues-we-dont-talk-about/000000020</link><description><![CDATA[I think we have "Americanized" the Bible. I am all for having the best life possible but not with trampling on others and hoarding and not sharing with others. The Old Testament talks about material wealth for Israel, but the New Testament talks about spiritual wealth for Christians. Again, I like material wealth in the right perspective but it is not promised to Christians automatically. I don't think Paul in prison was wealthy. Many "strong" Christians in America and overseas are not wealthy. That is not God's measuring stick. Great if you have it (maybe) but not a indicator of spirituality.]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-11T22:58:11+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I saw this story on ABC Tuesday night after the...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/sex-addict-leads-secret-life-online/000000018</link><description><![CDATA[I saw this story on ABC Tuesday night after the NBA Playoff game. Powerful!]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-11T21:56:03+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Something I struggle with that the church does not talk...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/what-are-the-issues-we-dont-talk-about/000000020</link><description><![CDATA[Something I struggle with that the church does not talk is that the "American Dream" may not be biblical. 

As I read scripture and understand the life of Jesus no where does it state that I will have an easy life.  Many ministries in the America are built upon this thought what we will have a care free life and have all the money we need.  

What are your thoughts? ]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-11T13:12:21+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Rick and Bryson are so correct that we are all...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/pornography/000000026</link><description><![CDATA[Rick and Bryson are so correct that we are all damaged and imperfect but God uses us anyway.  We need to be broken and he makes us whole.  

Living a life of transparency is the only way to true freedom.]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-10T18:33:09+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I take great comfort in knowing that God uses the...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/pornography/000000026</link><description><![CDATA[I take great comfort in knowing that God uses the weakest of us to do his work. Think about it. David had an affair and then had the woman's husband killed, Paul tortured Christians, Solomon was completely eaten up by pursuing the good life, Peter lied about even knowing Jesus, Zacchaeus cheated people into paying more taxes than they owed, and Moses talked really slow. He doesn't wait until we are perfect. He uses us the way we are.    ]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-09T22:40:04+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[This is a bit off the subject, but if you...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/pornography/000000026</link><description><![CDATA[This is a bit off the subject, but if you are going to minister, be honest. Let people know that you are not perfect and that you have struggles as well and that you are a work in progress as are they and that you all can learn and grow together. I know this is not an answer to your question, but it is something you may be able to use later. You don't have to be super human, you just have to be real. Now, that is not to say we don't want to grow and to be set free. We do. But also, God uses people who are not perfect to do his work. Please grow. I pray you are set free. But, also use your weaknesses as strengths to identify with the struggles of others. I hope that made sense, as it is sort of a side issue to the original question.]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-09T21:03:32+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I've been in youth settings where it has been addressed....]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/has-your-church-ever-addressed-pornography/000000025</link><description><![CDATA[I've been in youth settings where it has been addressed. Never a public church gathering of any sort, though.]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-08T21:09:51+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Hey I agree with Bryson and this weekend as I...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/pornography/000000026</link><description><![CDATA[Hey I agree with Bryson and this weekend as I met with 30 men on this issue the power was broken as we shared our stories.  I do agree that accountability is the answer and along with transparency.  

Find some to talk with and share your story.  The chains will fall off.  Then call this person when you are most at risk and avoid things that trigger you.  As time passes you will become more confident in your freedom.  

Read the comments on the community page on the topic of Purity and see Scott's thoughts on how God changed him in this area.

]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-08T18:41:54+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[It starts with accountability. You have to get honest and...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/pornography/000000026</link><description><![CDATA[It starts with accountability. You have to get honest and vulnerable with someone you trust. You've been hiding the "secret" long enough. Pornography loses its power when the secret is out. ]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-08T16:18:49+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[This weekend I attended a Iron Sharpens Iron men's conference...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/has-your-church-ever-addressed-pornography/000000025</link><description><![CDATA[This weekend I attended a Iron Sharpens Iron men's conference and two people in our class (30 men) stated that their church did address the issue.  One was a young man and it happened while he was in his youth group at church.  

The biggest concern we heard was that church is not a safe place to discuss this topic.  Many felt that if they communicated their struggle with pornography in church that they would be judged and removed from any involvement in church.  

The church needs to become a hospital to heal the broken people. We then can restore them to health.    ]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-08T02:26:56+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Scott you are so right when we are walking in...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/why-purity/000000021</link><description><![CDATA[Scott you are so right when we are walking in freedom and peace it is wonderful experience.  It is all about our relationship with the heavenly Father. The more we allow him to control and direct our lives, he will use us for his glory.
]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-08T01:51:21+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I have heard it said (and I agree) that the...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/why-purity/000000021</link><description><![CDATA[I have heard it said (and I agree) that the purpose of purity is God's presence. Psalm 24:3-4 says,

"Who may ascend the hill of the LORD? Who may stand in his holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to an idol or swear by what is false."

There is nothing more beautiful or necessary than the presence of God, here on earth.  And when we walk in purity there is a closeness and intimacy with God which is unbroken.  I have experienced this myself.  For 10 years I struggled with porn addiction, and God set me free. Now I have a continual, unbroken peace with God.  

So the purpose of purity (I think) is NOT purity itself, but to be experience intimate relationship with our Father.

Hope this helps!

Scott.]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-07T22:30:34+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[1 Thessalonians 4:3-8
James 1:2-18
Galatians 5
1 Corinthians 10:13
James 5:16

... just to...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/masterbation/000000027</link><description><![CDATA[1 Thessalonians 4:3-8
James 1:2-18
Galatians 5
1 Corinthians 10:13
James 5:16

... just to name a few!  Hope this helps.

Scott.]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-07T22:25:49+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[That's what Freedom Begins Here is all about!  Have...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/pornography/000000026</link><description><![CDATA[That's what Freedom Begins Here is all about!  Have you checked out any of our resources yet?

The Church ToolKit is designed to help pastors confront it with their churches, but if it's something you're struggling with on your own then you might look at the Personal ToolKit.

Church ToolKit
http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/church-toolkit

Personal ToolKit
http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/personal-toolkit]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-06T05:05:58+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Err... nobody else?  Sorry guys......]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/has-your-church-ever-addressed-pornography/000000025</link><description><![CDATA[Err... nobody else?  Sorry guys...]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-05T19:02:59+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Come on... nobody?...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/has-your-church-ever-addressed-pornography/000000025</link><description><![CDATA[Come on... nobody?]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-05T19:02:51+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Same here. I've heard it mentioned in a church service,...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/has-your-church-ever-addressed-pornography/000000025</link><description><![CDATA[Same here. I've heard it mentioned in a church service, but that's about it. ]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-04T02:11:15+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I have never personally been in a church service where...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/has-your-church-ever-addressed-pornography/000000025</link><description><![CDATA[I have never personally been in a church service where pornography got more than 2 sentences mentioned. Ever!
And even then it was just to say that it's bad. No help. No solutions. No hope. Just bad!]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-03T21:33:48+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[No, I have never been a part of a full...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/has-your-church-ever-addressed-pornography/000000025</link><description><![CDATA[No, I have never been a part of a full presentation on this issue.  I have heard references and comments that we should not view pornography but no one is addresses what are the solutions.  It is confusing that churches want to help people but we never really address the true needs of our culture. ]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-03T20:53:42+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Because to discuss SEX at church is consider unclean and...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/why-so-superficial/000000023</link><description><![CDATA[Because to discuss SEX at church is consider unclean and not church.  Yet men and women are in bondage and no one is helping them. The issue is many pastors are struggling with this issue so they are not sure how to address it when they don't have an answer or an outlet.  ]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-03T12:38:16+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Great stuff your doing here. I just wish I was...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/at-the-warehouse</link><description><![CDATA[Great stuff your doing here. I just wish I was privileged to it when I was young and oh so confused. Instead of being thought about sex I was abused and felt unclean and very much ashamed of who I was.]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-02T21:31:44+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I like Jeff's Story with Tape a close second....]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/whats-your-favorite-freebie/000000012</link><description><![CDATA[I like Jeff's Story with Tape a close second.]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-02T21:01:52+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Don't forget to take the survey!...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/at-the-warehouse</link><description><![CDATA[Don't forget to take the survey!]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-02T20:54:17+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Definitely. Last week I was in Las Vegas and saw...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/civil-discourse/000000024</link><description><![CDATA[Definitely. Last week I was in Las Vegas and saw a "Christian" standing on the street corner yelling scripture at people who walked by. He was obviously not interested in hearing anyone else's point of view. You can't listen when you're yelling. ]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-02T20:04:19+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I agree with Rick that to often in church we...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/civil-discourse/000000024</link><description><![CDATA[I agree with Rick that to often in church we are not taught on how to engage people of differing opinions.  As followers of Christ being able to communicate with all types people with different backgrounds is important.  So, yes we need to be taught on how to hold discussions with people that think differently than us.  Thanks Rick!]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-02T17:59:10+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[It's easier to "fit in" than to "stand out". ...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/why-so-superficial/000000023</link><description><![CDATA[It's easier to "fit in" than to "stand out".  Churches and leaders don't have any problem talking about things <em>everyone</em> is talking about, but if they're the only ones talking about it, then they are more reluctant.

I recently watched the movie "Doubt", with Philip Seymour Hoffman, where he played a catholic priest.  When he preached on something "edgy" certain members of the congregation immediately wondered "Why is he preaching on this? He must be struggling with this..."  That's more than enough reason for many people to stay quiet about issues they should be talking about.]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-01T20:33:13+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I agree with you Sned and I think it is...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/whats-your-greatest-fear-about-admitting-your-struggle-with-porn/000000017</link><description><![CDATA[I agree with you Sned and I think it is a matter of people worrying about other people rather than God.  If people really lived transparent lives we would be much more effective for the kingdom.  

Freedom is worth the hardship of admitting where you stand.  Please consider talking with someone and start on the road to freedom.]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-29T15:19:06+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I like it Tyler!...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/what-are-the-issues-we-dont-talk-about/000000020</link><description><![CDATA[I like it Tyler!]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-29T02:10:15+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Tyler - That has a powerful message of how pornography...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/sex-addict-leads-secret-life-online/000000018</link><description><![CDATA[Tyler - That has a powerful message of how pornography pulls you in and can destroy your life.  I like the fact that they have taken this issue and have turned it for good.]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-28T18:35:51+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Hey! Maybe we start a new campaign!  "Show love,...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/what-are-the-issues-we-dont-talk-about/000000020</link><description><![CDATA[Hey! Maybe we start a new campaign!  "Show love, not skin!"

Eh?]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-28T18:35:07+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Tanisha - you are so correct and we (Christians) have...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/what-are-the-issues-we-dont-talk-about/000000020</link><description><![CDATA[Tanisha - you are so correct and we (Christians) have forgotten that God is the judge.  Our responsibility is to show love.

]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-28T18:26:18+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I feel it is the great challenge in our Christian...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/why-purity/000000021</link><description><![CDATA[I feel it is the great challenge in our Christian lives to move to a higher standard of living.  We need to be transparent about our lives, set high standards and show mercy with other people.]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-27T21:57:54+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Im 15 and half of my church is my family....]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/what-are-the-issues-we-dont-talk-about/000000020</link><description><![CDATA[Im 15 and half of my church is my family. The problem is, someone will come to our church that doesn't have a good rep, and will be judged right away. there have been cases where peole have walked out of our church. I believe in god but i also believe that only god can judge people. Only.]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-27T17:11:46+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[A must read is Kris Vallotton's book "Purity - The...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/why-purity/000000021</link><description><![CDATA[A must read is Kris Vallotton's book "Purity - The New Moral Revolution." You gotta check it out.]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-27T02:54:51+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Jimmy's Rant is my fav. He's a funny guy and...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/whats-your-favorite-freebie/000000012</link><description><![CDATA[Jimmy's Rant is my fav. He's a funny guy and amazing musician.]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-22T14:27:47+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[PG - I think Brent is referring to judgmental attitudes....]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/what-are-the-issues-we-dont-talk-about/000000020</link><description><![CDATA[PG - I think Brent is referring to judgmental attitudes. The way I see it, we don't feel safe in the church to reveal our deepest struggles because we're afraid of being judged. I have a friend who is a very strong believer but refuses to open up at church because he doesn't trust Christians. He's seen too many people gossip about others' struggles and he doesn't want his dirty laundry spread all over town.

I think the church needs to be accepting and loving of everyone, whether you struggle with porn, homosexuality, drugs, pride, greed, whatever. We're all messed up and in need of grace. 

]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-22T14:26:00+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Brent--what did you mean by the judgment within and outside...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/what-are-the-issues-we-dont-talk-about/000000020</link><description><![CDATA[Brent--what did you mean by the judgment within and outside of the church? I mean we do need to use good judgment, but are you referring to judgmental attitudes of thinking one sin is worse than another? We also do need to hold others accountable. . .so please clarify. :)]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-22T03:38:47+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Varlen, you are not alone!  Though you may feel...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/whats-your-greatest-fear-about-admitting-your-struggle-with-porn/000000017</link><description><![CDATA[Varlen, you are not alone!  Though you may feel alone, but you're not!  The thing about porn addiction is that it's isolating.

Check out Jimmy Needham's video, http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/jimmy-needham , he thought he was alone too.  I'm sure you won't have to look very far to find someone that is also feeling like they're the only one going through this.  Perhaps someone feeling the same way would make a great accountability partner.]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-21T21:58:17+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I have no problem talking about my pornography addiction. ...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/whats-your-greatest-fear-about-admitting-your-struggle-with-porn/000000017</link><description><![CDATA[I have no problem talking about my pornography addiction.  I have even blogged about it online, so hundreds of people know of my struggle.  Several people in my church know of my addiction, including the Pastor.  My only fear is that there is NOBODY who cares about me enough to help me overcome this addiction, people who would contact me to find out how I'm doing.  I don't have a wife whom I can talk to, and I don't have any close friends, who can help keep me accountable.  I am isolated and all alone.]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-21T21:43:10+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I have only begun my journey through the devotional book...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/personal-toolkit</link><description><![CDATA[I have only begun my journey through the devotional book but have been surprised, convicted and reassured by the content. The personal testimonies as well as the daily devotional sections have surprised me by stating in print some of the feelings and experiences I have been through and felt isolated by. Seeing those things in print has helped me realize I'm NOT the only one!!

These devotional sections have also reminded me who my Lord really is. The loving Creator as opposed to the cold-hearted tyrant Satan would like us to see.

I have not even started to watch the DVD so cannot comment on that at this time.
The Covenant Eyes filter software is another GREAT tool! Not needed most days but on the job when temptation knocks.
]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-21T15:10:11+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Could it be that some people are too proud to...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/what-are-the-issues-we-dont-talk-about/000000020</link><description><![CDATA[Could it be that some people are too proud to admit that they are struggling with pride?

Oh yeah, I went there.]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-20T16:06:32+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Another issue that we need to address is the judgment...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/what-are-the-issues-we-dont-talk-about/000000020</link><description><![CDATA[Another issue that we need to address is the judgment within the church and outside the church.  ]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-20T16:03:30+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I agree with you and I think it is a...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/what-are-the-issues-we-dont-talk-about/000000020</link><description><![CDATA[I agree with you and I think it is a huge issue that needs to be addressed.]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-20T16:01:06+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I left a business career in 1987 to begin my...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/freedombeginshereorg-has-a-new-look</link><description><![CDATA[I left a business career in 1987 to begin my journey of healing primarily from fear with the symptoms of numerous. I am now 22 years in recovery and the director of a counseling center with 5 sites in S. Fl. Sex has and always will be Satans # 1 place of attack. 90% of my therapy work deals with sevual abuse/addiction.infidelity/porn. The church was asleep as this giant grew through the internet. Let's reclaim Gods greatest gift of intimacy. None of us can do it all. Let's join together, step out of shame and denial and 
create safe places of restoration. We are a group of 
licensed therapists/sex therapists/addiction specialist 

committed to seeing captives set free!. We're not into titles but testimonies. Let us know how we can be more helpful to your ministry or you as an individual in need. 

Confidentiality is of utmost conern on your behalf. We can
 counsel, referand/or present on these issues. We are a referral of Focus on the Family and the american asssociation of Christian Counselors.   



]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-19T15:44:29+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. But that program only kept...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/new-video-idea</link><description><![CDATA[Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. But that program only kept me intermittantly sexually sober and porn free for 16 years until I asked God to take my life and use me to serve Him in September 09.
We have a saying: "God will only do for me what I cannot do for myself." Prayer alone won't do it.  Anything done alone to deal with this is actually part of the root cause of the problem, isolation from God and my fellows. Only the humility and acceptance of truthfully admitting my behavior to others and asking for help can prepare me to surrender to God WITHOUT CONDITIONS. 
"Surrender" to get something is not surrender.  I can't bargain with God.  I give myself totally to Him and He determines what direction my life then takes.  It has to be enough to be aware in each moment that He is with me, I am not alone, ever.
Thanks for listening.]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-15T17:35:54+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I like Jeff's story because his life was transformed by...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/whats-your-favorite-freebie/000000012</link><description><![CDATA[I like Jeff's story because his life was transformed by the Freedom Begins Here product.]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-14T21:51:04+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I like Tape....]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/whats-your-favorite-freebie/000000012</link><description><![CDATA[I like Tape.]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-14T21:46:08+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I like Tape.  http://www.freedombeginshere.org/freebies/tape  Very creative and a...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/whats-your-favorite-freebie/000000012</link><description><![CDATA[I like Tape.  http://www.freedombeginshere.org/freebies/tape  Very creative and a good introduction to talking about something that is difficult.]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-14T21:45:49+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I believe that freedom living the Gospel of Jesus-using your...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/freedom-is</link><description><![CDATA[I believe that freedom living the Gospel of Jesus-using your free will the way God wants you to use it. Doing the right thing joyfully-being able to say no to sin and yes to the will of God at all times, regardless of how you feel or what others around you are doing.]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-11T16:56:50+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[As a counselor specializing in porn addiction recovery, I can...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/counselor-toolkit</link><description><![CDATA[As a counselor specializing in porn addiction recovery, I can attest to the strength, comprehensiveness and ease of use of Freedom Begins Here. I have trained pastors and individuals about this issue and I use Freedom Begins Here resources.

Freedom Begins Here is wonderful because it is not static, but dynamic, and can be interchangeably used and the training repeated. I also like the fact that right out of the box an individual can receive the assistance he or she needs with an incredible 30-day devotional journal, a user-friendly DVD format, and a free 30-day trial of Covenant Eyes, an Internet accountability resource.]]></description><pubDate>2009-07-02T14:25:18+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Mufana - Thanks for the encouragement! You're right, there is...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/welcome-to-the-new-freedombeginshereorg/000000011</link><description><![CDATA[Mufana - Thanks for the encouragement! You're right, there is a stigma among Christians surrounding the struggle with pornography. Because of this, millions of people are struggling in silence. That's one of the things we are trying to change (with your help and everyone else who is a part of the FBH movement).]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-10T02:33:51+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[This is very helpful for me.  I have to...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/books/devotional-journal</link><description><![CDATA[This is very helpful for me.  I have to daily spend time reflecting and meditating on this material and on the grace of God that has been extended to me to save me from sin and from my addiction.  I have to daily fall into God's marvelous grace, and this devotional helps to facilitate my dependence on Him.]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-09T08:10:25+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[Thank you guys so much for working to bring this...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/community/welcome-to-the-new-freedombeginshereorg/000000011</link><description><![CDATA[Thank you guys so much for working to bring this addiction out in the open.  I have felt many times that I couldn't admit to anyone outside of my 12 step group that I am a porn addict.  It felt as if my addiction was dirtier or more perverse than an alcoholics or a narcotic addict.  Thank you for working to change that stigma in our culture.]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-09T08:01:15+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[The material does a good job identifying and explaining the...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/church-toolkit</link><description><![CDATA[The material does a good job identifying and explaining the crisis.]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-08T19:23:51+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I’m very impressed at the thorough and clear approach....]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/church-toolkit</link><description><![CDATA[I’m very impressed at the thorough and clear approach.]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-08T19:23:36+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I was very impressed with the overall kit and I...]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/church-toolkit</link><description><![CDATA[I was very impressed with the overall kit and I think every person in church leadership should view this.]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-08T19:23:21+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[We need this kind of material in our church....]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/church-toolkit</link><description><![CDATA[We need this kind of material in our church.]]></description><pubDate>2009-06-25T14:53:14+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[This is the best, most comprehensive I’ve seen....]]></title><link>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/church-toolkit</link><description><![CDATA[This is the best, most comprehensive I’ve seen.]]></description><pubDate>2009-05-08T19:21:44+00:00</pubDate><guid>http://www.freedombeginshere.org/blog/?title=</guid></item></channel></rss>