
Anonymous
Living with a Sex/Porn addicted Spouse
In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will
make straight your path. Iam clinging to this
promise .. right now I can not see the path I am to
take because of the pain I feel. I have lived with
a sex addicted spouse for the past 7 years, in the
beginning I would excuse his behavior and ignore
it, thinking it was just this once. But the truth
is, it has evolved into much bigger issue .. He
doesnt believe he has done anything wrong as he has
not touched another woman, and yet in my heart I
feel the same betrayal as if he has. Am I wrong to
feel that way? Is it excuseable behavior because a
man is stimulated by sight?
I dont know how to fix this, and I dont know that
he wants to stop doing this. He claims he does but
then he slips right back into it.
I do not know what to do ? How can I help him or
save my marriage when it hurts me so badly?
Please help .. even if its just prayers ..
Thank you
~Linda

This will not answer all of your questions, but
it may be a start. You may also want to see a
Christian counselor to discuss what is going on
in your life.
That said, here are a few thoughts.
Yes, men are generally stimulated by visual
images. And, pornography (those visual images)
are very addictive. Extremely so, like a drug.
Literally. So, your husband may really want to
stop, but the addiction is overwhelming him. That
is possible.
However, the part that bothers me is that you say
he does not feel he has done anything wrong since
he has not physically touched another woman. Does
your husband profess to be a Christian believer?
If so, what does he do with the multitude of
verses in the Bible that talk about the sin of
lust? What does he do with the verses that speak
of honoring his wife when he knows that this
behavior hurts you?
I am not judging, because I do not know his
thoughts. I am just asking.
If he really wants to stop, it is possible. If he
really does not want to stop, well...he
won't.
The addictive nature of pornography makes it a
battle when one does want to stop. If one does
not want to stop? They won't.
But, this is not only a physical battle. More
so...it is a spiritual battle. So, again, there
is hope.
I pray that your husband really does want to
change. If not, I pray that the Holy Spirit will
convict him and work on him so that he does want
to change. I also pray that God will give you
wisdom and courage. And, I pray you will find the
correct mature Christian friend or counselor to
support you in prayer and with practical
ideas.
I pray your husband will have the wisdom and the
courage to go with you.
With all temptation, according to the Bible,
there is a way of escape. I pray that your
husband will truly want that and will take the
escape when this temptation and stronghold
strikes.
Freedom Begins Here has tools to help the
individual struggling and to inform the spouse
struggling as well. It is the Personal ToolKit.
Also, this website.
There is hope. There is help. Restoration is
possible. If the person wants it. Again, I pray
that your husband truly does and that, indeed,
the Lord will direct your path.
I highly recommend talking to a pastor or
Christian counselor. I pray that the Lord will
direct you to the proper one.
In the meantime, our prayers are with you, and I
hope others will comment to you, as well.
by Anonymous, 10 months, 1 week ago
Thank you for your thoughts and wisdom. They
validated everything that I have been thinking.
He was not raised a in a christian home as I was,
however his parents started attending church
during his teen years. I believe that he knows
the truth but in his heart he has not truly
changed. He prayed a prayer once and believes
that is all he needs to do for salvation. He
truly doesnt understand why looking is the same
as touching. I have made it perfectly clear how I
feel and what it does to me as his wife. On MANY
occasions in the past 8 years of our
relationship. I was in denial for so many years
and as it grew into relationships with "real
life" women via email and text messaging is when
I began to confront him on the issue.
I have found a wonderful counselor .. and I have
asked him about it .. His response was "whatever
you need" again .. he is in denial of any
responsibility of his own. He says he is sorry
for how I feel and that he is trying but his
actions say something completely different.
Thank You for your prayers ..
by BunnyGirl, 10 months, 1 week ago
I will continue to pray that the Holy Spirit will
really begin to go to work on your husband with
His convicting power. It would seem that this is
what it is going to take.
It will be up to him ultimately, but there is
power in Godly prayer. We really need for God to
do a miraculous and transforming work. Please
Lord, go to work on this man, and please lift up
and encourage his faithful and loving wife. Amen!
by Anonymous, 10 months, 1 week ago