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Anonymous
need answers
i need to know am i addicted?
my wife struggles with intemacy and sex. i always
get turned down and i know sex is not the bases of
our relationship. but to satisfy my erges i turned
to porn. but understand i am starting a new me and
these are why i need answers. me and my wife
seperated because i don't "Listen to her feelings"
and i felt no intemacy from her. i am 32 yrs old
and my hormorst are in OVER DRIVE! i want my wife
all the time mentally and phycally. but i get
rejected ALL the time. she will finally give up and
give me sex when i beg for it or she get's a few
drinks in her but it's not intamate. I want that
now here is my question. I turned to watching porn
because i knew my need was more than my wife can
handle and i masterbate about 1 time a day. just
because i don't want to hear " i am not in the
mood" or " not right now". it makes me feel like i
am not the one she wants and i have recently
learned that she probably doesn't. would i have an
issue if she was doing that I don't know. but to be
it was a releaf for both of us because she didn't
have to tell me no and feel bad and i didn't have
to ask anymore.
I turned to god very recently and i don't know if i
do masterbate weather it is a sin if i think of my
wife and want her. I stopped the porn after i
watched the movie fireproof and so much hit me. i
do know how she feels now and i don't want to cause
that. it is hard everyday to wake up and not want
her. now am i addicted? do i seek counceling? or is
this correct thing to do is stop the porn but
masterbation is ok? I am scared that if i keep
going down this path of rejection i will seek the
intamacy sex elsewere. Please give advice.
Sincerely,
Robert
P.S. were are already in marrage counceling.
I am very glad that you are both seeking counseling. Are you going to a professional Christian counselor? Are these issues discussed during those sessions? You turned to God recently...excellent! Is your wife a believer?
If I understand correctly, after Fireproof, you have given up porn. I am glad to hear that as using porn as a substitute for real unmet needs would not seem to be a direction that the Lord would lead considering the Scriptures.
I will pray for you and for your wife that the Lord will lead you to the right help and that healing and restoration will take place. I do not know every circumstance and answer, but the Lord knows all and I will continue to pray to Him that He leads and directs the path for you and for your wife, putting the proper people in your lives, through counseling, communication, and His gentle love.
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