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Anonymous

need answers

i need to know am i addicted?

my wife struggles with intemacy and sex. i always get turned down and i know sex is not the bases of our relationship. but to satisfy my erges i turned to porn. but understand i am starting a new me and these are why i need answers. me and my wife seperated because i don't "Listen to her feelings" and i felt no intemacy from her. i am 32 yrs old and my hormorst are in OVER DRIVE! i want my wife all the time mentally and phycally. but i get rejected ALL the time. she will finally give up and give me sex when i beg for it or she get's a few drinks in her but it's not intamate. I want that now here is my question. I turned to watching porn because i knew my need was more than my wife can handle and i masterbate about 1 time a day. just because i don't want to hear " i am not in the mood" or " not right now". it makes me feel like i am not the one she wants and i have recently learned that she probably doesn't. would i have an issue if she was doing that I don't know. but to be it was a releaf for both of us because she didn't have to tell me no and feel bad and i didn't have to ask anymore.
I turned to god very recently and i don't know if i do masterbate weather it is a sin if i think of my wife and want her. I stopped the porn after i watched the movie fireproof and so much hit me. i do know how she feels now and i don't want to cause that. it is hard everyday to wake up and not want her. now am i addicted? do i seek counceling? or is this correct thing to do is stop the porn but masterbation is ok? I am scared that if i keep going down this path of rejection i will seek the intamacy sex elsewere. Please give advice.

Sincerely,
Robert

P.S. were are already in marrage counceling.

Wow! I am not a counsellor or an expert. But, I read your story and I do want to encourage you. These are very difficult issues you and your wife are dealing with.

I am very glad that you are both seeking counseling. Are you going to a professional Christian counselor? Are these issues discussed during those sessions? You turned to God recently...excellent! Is your wife a believer?

If I understand correctly, after Fireproof, you have given up porn. I am glad to hear that as using porn as a substitute for real unmet needs would not seem to be a direction that the Lord would lead considering the Scriptures.

I will pray for you and for your wife that the Lord will lead you to the right help and that healing and restoration will take place. I do not know every circumstance and answer, but the Lord knows all and I will continue to pray to Him that He leads and directs the path for you and for your wife, putting the proper people in your lives, through counseling, communication, and His gentle love.
by Rick, 1 year, 3 months ago
thank you for your reply.. yea the giving up porn was something even without though once i seen the damaging impact it does to the ones you love. i prey to god everyday that he give me strength to endure the next day and not want my wife in a sexual way so bad but i am learning to want her love more that just the though of making love to her. IT's just very hard. She still drives me nuts and i just hope and prey i make it though the seperation
by robert, 1 year, 3 months ago
I promise you we will continue to lift you and your wife up in prayer at Freedom Begins Here. Please keep us posted on what is going on. We really do care.
by Rick, 1 year, 3 months ago

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