Jeff,
Remember, God is about restoration and hope. Through the power of Holy Spirit along with someone to support you, you will find freedom. You are a child of God and he loves you. We fall short of his glory daily.
James 5:6 Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other that you may be healed.
Find someone and shed light on your sin. Their are people that will provide you with a safe place to find healing.
My prayer is that you will see freedom and break the cycle of addiction. Also that you will see yourself as a worthy and loved child of God.