Sometimes freedom is instant ... other times freedom takes time

I'm the latter ... I'm still struggling with pornography ( and I haven't told anybody which is a big no no but that is because I've already told them of my diet problems --- which are mostly gone --- , depression --- gone as well --- and former suicidal tendencies --- gone too and that's because of prayer and the psychologist )

After all I've been through I don't know why I am still scared but anyways ...

Here's what I think

- Get on your knees to God and speak a one on one to him --- That helped me a lot
- God prefers hot or cold and not lukewarm but when one is in a struggle sometimes the journey and much of the path needs to start lukewarm and be somewhat lukewarm to end hot
- Worship and praise ( Hillsong , Don Moen , Ron Kenoly , Paul Wilbur , etc )
- Read the Bible a bit everyday

And even though I'm struggling worth pornography I'm watching pornography less and less ... I guess I'm in my last stage ... that's why I am here

I'm watching it less and less because also in my mind pornography is not sex

It's fake , abuse and even if not fake or abuse it is not the ideal of marriage and monogamy ... of what God wants

It's hentai , BDSM , anal , incest , homosexuality ( male or female ) and so forth

It's adultery , extra marital sex , etc

There is no respectable sin

I think looking at my own feces has made me vomit and greatly took of the addiction to pornography ( try it , it works ) as I connected to the perversion of anal ... that and knowing that BSDM is disgusting and imagining myself getting beaten or treated harshly in real life

Sometimes I look at Renaissance pictures , Greek/Roman , Middle Eastern/Indian/Chinese/Japanese and Judeo Christian conservative depictions of sex

I think that while getting out of pornography good depictions of sex , marriage , monogamy and whichever should be added

Most American movies from the 1920's til the 1950's tend to fit the bill ... Christian or Bible based movies or series too ( for example the famous '' In The Beginning '' ) ... animation works too

Pictures and sculptures of clothed female and male bodies or naked if they are depicting something like Adam and Eve

I guess that I'm just watching pornography out of a repeated habit and not because it is good or makes me aroused ... I'm been away from pornorgraphy for almost 2 months ... I've watched it again just this morning

I'm here because I feel almost free ... almost
It's just the last chains

Advice to those dealing with this struggle

- Get a psychologist ASAP
- Read the Bible ( even of it only a little )
- Talk to God ( one on one ) and somewhere where it is quiet
- Tell somebody ( even if it is a half truth )
- Replace those disgusting videos and images with healthy views of sex within the context of marriage ( you can take it from any culture you wish ) or Judeo Christianity