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Sometimes freedom is instant ... other times freedom takes time

I'm the latter ... I'm still struggling with pornography ( and I haven't told anybody which is a big no no but that is because I've already told them of my diet problems --- which are mostly gone --- , depression --- gone as well --- and former suicidal tendencies --- gone too and that's because of prayer and the psychologist )

After all I've been through I don't know why I am still scared but anyways ...

Here's what I think

- Get on your knees to God and speak a one on one to him --- That helped me a lot
- God prefers hot or cold and not lukewarm but when one is in a struggle sometimes the journey and much of the path needs to start lukewarm and be somewhat lukewarm to end hot
- Worship and praise ( Hillsong , Don Moen , Ron Kenoly , Paul Wilbur , etc )
- Read the Bible a bit everyday

And even though I'm struggling worth pornography I'm watching pornography less and less ... I guess I'm in my last stage ... that's why I am here

I'm watching it less and less because also in my mind pornography is not sex

It's fake , abuse and even if not fake or abuse it is not the ideal of marriage and monogamy ... of what God wants

It's hentai , BDSM , anal , incest , homosexuality ( male or female ) and so forth

It's adultery , extra marital sex , etc

There is no respectable sin

I think looking at my own feces has made me vomit and greatly took of the addiction to pornography ( try it , it works ) as I connected to the perversion of anal ... that and knowing that BSDM is disgusting and imagining myself getting beaten or treated harshly in real life

Sometimes I look at Renaissance pictures , Greek/Roman , Middle Eastern/Indian/Chinese/Japanese and Judeo Christian conservative depictions of sex

I think that while getting out of pornography good depictions of sex , marriage , monogamy and whichever should be added

Most American movies from the 1920's til the 1950's tend to fit the bill ... Christian or Bible based movies or series too ( for example the famous '' In The Beginning '' ) ... animation works too

Pictures and sculptures of clothed female and male bodies or naked if they are depicting something like Adam and Eve

I guess that I'm just watching pornography out of a repeated habit and not because it is good or makes me aroused ... I'm been away from pornorgraphy for almost 2 months ... I've watched it again just this morning

I'm here because I feel almost free ... almost
It's just the last chains

Advice to those dealing with this struggle

- Get a psychologist ASAP
- Read the Bible ( even of it only a little )
- Talk to God ( one on one ) and somewhere where it is quiet
- Tell somebody ( even if it is a half truth )
- Replace those disgusting videos and images with healthy views of sex within the context of marriage ( you can take it from any culture you wish ) or Judeo Christianity

My heart hurts as I read your post. I see and feel the internal mental/emotional/and spiritual anguish that you have and are experiencing. I have been on a long road to recovery and can finally say that true freedom is available. You and I do not have to stay on the merry-go-round of sexual addiction. Dr. Mark Laaser shared two comments that I wanted to leave with you to consider: Using the lame man at the well whom Jesus asked, "Do you want to be well." Seems like a painfully obvious question. Yet, some of us have not yet become exhausted enough with ourselves to say from the depths of our hearts in truth, Yes, I do want to get well. When we do get to that point, Df. Laaser has another painfully accurate statement - " You can only get well and experience freedom in community." Why because at its roots, sexual addiction is a relational problem. So, we need to journey with people who are recovering too. Apart from the love, support, and accountability, there is no real freedom. But there is hope, because there are growing numbers of groups where people are experiencing genuine freedom from sexual addiction. Check out
by Bruce, 4 months, 2 weeks ago

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