
Sned
What's your greatest fear about admitting your
struggle with porn?
It seems like everyone I talk to is willing to
acknowledge that pornography is a problem in our
society, especially in the church. Strangely
enough, few of those same people are willing to
admit that pornography is their problem.
Whether you are currently struggle, or have a
historical battle with the addictive nature of
pornography, it's time to be transparent and honest
about this 800 lbs gorilla that in the room with
you.
If you are concerned that a spouse is going to find
out, then "man up" and talk to your spouse about
it. Nothing like a little transparency and humble
confession. Sure, your spouse may be really mad,
disappointed, hurt, etc. What did you think she
will do when you admit to looking at silicon-laded,
airbrushed pics on the web? Come clean. Don't make
excuses. Don't blame her. There are gonna be some
consequences. But freedom for you, for your
marriage, for your family, for ministry...is worth
it.
Still afraid? Talk about it, right here.
I have no problem talking about my pornography
addiction. I have even blogged about it online,
so hundreds of people know of my struggle.
Several people in my church know of my addiction,
including the Pastor. My only fear is that there
is NOBODY who cares about me enough to help me
overcome this addiction, people who would contact
me to find out how I'm doing. I don't have a wife
whom I can talk to, and I don't have any close
friends, who can help keep me accountable. I am
isolated and all alone.
by Varlen, 2 years, 9 months ago
Varlen, you are not alone! Though you may feel
alone, but you're not! The thing about porn
addiction is that it's isolating.
Check out Jimmy Needham's video,
http://www.freedombeginshere.org/videos/jimmy-needham
, he thought he was alone too. I'm sure you won't
have to look very far to find someone that is
also feeling like they're the only one going
through this. Perhaps someone feeling the same
way would make a great accountability partner.
by Tyler, 2 years, 9 months ago
I agree with you Sned and I think it is a matter
of people worrying about other people rather than
God. If people really lived transparent lives we
would be much more effective for the
kingdom.
Freedom is worth the hardship of admitting where
you stand. Please consider talking with someone
and start on the road to freedom.
by Brent, 2 years, 9 months ago
I know how Varlen feels. I have tried to talk
with some of the leadership in my church and they
have "shared" some of the my hurts with other
people in the church and they have gotten back to
me. I call that gossip and that hurts. So then
who do you go to if you can't go to the
leadership of the church.
I have gone to the leadership to discuss porn and
its affects and they could not understand how
anyone could get addicted to anything like porn.
I have convinced them to allow me to share this
with the congragation so please pray for me but
they still seem closed to the need for sharing
this in our church.
My fear is that now one will be there to help me
if I came clean. I look around the different
websites for help and should be able to go to
friends and church but am so affraid of what they
might say or not say.
by pjrey, 2 years, 9 months ago
I really don't mind admitting that I have a
problem with Porn, but probably because I have
already amditted it to my wife, and nearly lost
my marriage over it. My fear is in maintaining
purity. There are lots of resources out there to
help people begin their journey to purity, but
not a lot to help someone maintain that purity
they fought for. I have been fighting my
addiction for three years now, and attending a
ForMenOnly group this whole time. Currently, I am
leading my group through the Freedom Begins Here
material (small group pack) in hopes of getting
the encouragement I need for long term
healthyness.
One of my friends has been kicked out of two
churches because he admitted his problem with
sexual addiction, and the church membership could
not handle it. A lot of long-term christians just
can't understand how Porn can capture a man's
soul, so they assume it means the person is evil.
That's the hardest stigma to overcome. So, I
guess my greatest fear is people thinking I am
evil. I am not evil, I am a recovering addict,
and I need grace, love, and emotional support to
stay sober.
by flathillfarm, 2 years, 5 months ago
.... which, by the way, I got very little of from
my wife. She was so offended by my addiction that
she insisted I go cold turkey, but was unwilling
to lift me up or support me in any way ... this
was MY problem.
I smiled a bit and laughed when I heard the
stories on the DVD about the wives who fought for
their marriages and stood by their husbands,
becuase that was not my experience. I think my
experience is more typical, so any of your guys
who have a supportive wife ... count your
blessings dude!!!!!!!
by flathillfarm, 2 years, 5 months ago
I thought I would share here. I just joined this
site a few minutes ago. I have struggled with
porn for a long time,sometimes the urges go
dormant but they always come back. Last week, my
employer suspended me for viewing porn on my
company computer. The company is deciding whether
I will be fired. I had to tell my wife--I came
clean--but too late. She has not decided if she
will stay. Both my wife and employer have told me
that had I come clean and admitted I had a
problem before they found out, they would have
gladly helped me. As it is...... Please pray for
me. I have ruined my life. Do not ruin yours,
admit your problem to your wife ask her in love
for her help. She will be mad but not as mad if
you lie to her. She probably already knows.
by Convicted0923, 2 years, 5 months ago
Hey as of late I was talking to young man that is
struggling with sin, and for some reason I told
him life story of sin. I felt ashamed to be
honest, he told me " hey you look ashamed of what
you've done Pat". And truthfully I was. I hid my
sexual sins for so long. As for Church I tried so
hard to speak to my Pastor about but seems to me
he doesn't want to have meeting about it. Maybe
because I came from another church I don't know.
in addition there are so many problems at my
church. Sometimes I feel scared to tell people
because I seen the veil reactions of it. Guys I'm
being honest here. I seen people cast out of
church. Thats why I have been from church to
church. I'm tired of running and its time face
it!
by Pat, 2 years, 4 months ago
The Church in general has been very bad about the
way they have treated those dealing with this
issue, especially considering the % of church
members who actually deal with this themselves.
Very Hypocritical!! Many pastors, not all, ignore
this issue because they are struggling with it
themselves. Or because they don't want to be
"controversial". That is not right, but it
happens. So, I understand your fear.
Thankfully, there are many churches beginning to
deal honestly and openly about this issue due to
the sheer number of Christians caught up in this,
especially because of the Internet.
I pray that you find a church that has humble and
honest and real leadership that is full of mercy,
grace, forgiveness, and restoration. A church
that is a safe place for you to stop running.
They do exist.
I also pray that the Lord will lead you to a true
friend who you can open up to and share your
struggle. I pray they will be there for you to
hold you accountable and to lift you up. Those
friends are rare as well. But, they do
exist.
The Personal ToolKit would be of help as well if
you do not already have it. It will help you to
chart a course of action.
Please do let the running stop. Be a force for
change in the church you decide on. Maybe you are
the leader others have been looking for. Let
freedom begin!
by Rick, 2 years, 4 months ago

I am so very greatful that this ministry has been
started through the obedience of a true man of
God.Yes,porn and sexual addiction is more of a
problem than people want to see.I have suffered
greatly because of this spirit.In my particular
case,the enemy used the church as the safe place
because the church leaders would not listen.They
were too busy trying to grow!My daughter was
taken advantage of by the praise and worship
leader.At the time she was only 17 and he was
29.I tried to talk to the pasture about what I
discerned,but he didn,t believe me.A few months
later my daughter wound up pregnant.Through
this,it was found out that many other young girls
were taken advantage of through the same
vessel.God has blessed me with a beautiful
grandson and my daughter is a wonderful
mother.Because of this event we all quit
attending the church all together.It just seemed
to me that the church did not want to address
issues of this nature.I really am greatful for
the courage you guys have displayed in bringing
this to the light.Keep up the good work!
by Anonymous, 2 years, 4 months ago
Another unfortunate situation is the fact that
everyone seems to think this is only a man's
problem. I once summoned the courage to walk into
a church treatment group designed to help those
struggling with pornography and as soon as I
walked in the room I was met with hostile stares
and questions. I got te message; "you don't
belong here." I appologized quickly and got the
heck out of there! I haven't been back.
by Anonymous, 2 years, 4 months ago
You are correct! Many assume it is only a man's
problem. But, the latest surveys we have seen
indicate that over 30% of Christian women now
admit to struggling in this area. There is an
article in the October 2009 edition of "Home
Life" magazine, a LifeWay publication, titled
"Hooked On A Feeling" on pages 48-50 that
addresses this issue very well. You may also want
to do some research on Marnie Ferree who is a
lady who struggled in the area of sexual
addiction and now teaches about it. I hope this
is helpful.
"Dear brothers and sisters, if another is
overcome by some sin, you who are godly should
gently and humbly help that person back onto the
right path. And be careful not to fall into the
same temptation yourself. Share each others
troubles and problems, and in this way obey the
law of Christ. If you think you are too important
to help someone in need, you are only fooling
yourself. You are really a nobody." Galatians
6:1-3 NLT
by Rick, 2 years, 4 months ago
Man up! Wow I agree but folks is this just for
married people. I am sick and I mine sick that
people just bring in the married people. What
about single people, we struggle too bro! It is
time that people come clean and stop separating
married people and single people. We are all
struggling. In addition yes we need to tell
someone. It is hard, consequences, and very
painful. And last I can understand that we do
have differences in married and single. But this
is not married world. Its all men and women who
struggle.
by Pat, 2 years, 4 months ago
Good point. It is not married vs. single.
Temptations and struggles affect us all. It is a
human issue. The most important daily
relationship affected is the one between us
(single or married) and God.
by Rick, 2 years, 4 months ago
GOD IS STILL IN THE RESTORATION BUSINESS !
JOHN 6:37..AND HIM THAT COMETH TO ME ,I WILL IN
NO WISE CAST OUT ! SURRENDER IS THE GOLDEN KEY TO
HIS PRESENCE..
by DAVE , 3 months, 1 week ago